Sexual Currency and Prostitution

I came across the term sexual currency last year when I first listened to the David DeAngelo, author of Double Your Dating’s Mastery Program. I won’t explain his definition but rather my own experience and interpretation…

So on the past Saturday night, just after midnight, I arrived at a very one of the hottest clubs in Joburg, Moloko. As I walked inside I saw three women to to my left and I recognised a two of them. The first girl, let me call her L1, was someone I’ve had some intimate encounters with. And I’d met, at Moloko, the the 2nd woman, let me call her B.

Anyway I was quickly introduce to the third one. Let me call her L2. The vibe in the club was really good and we just connected. Pretty soon I was dancing and enjoying the music. Now as a man being surround by three hot women in a club is what’s called social proof. There was a lot of suggestive dancing and flirting going back and forth with all three women.

Now I’m going to skip some of the detail and just say that she was attracted to me. Based on what she said, and more on what she did and how I behave these days I can see attraction in social settings. Moloko closes its doors around 3h30am and they politely encourage all the patrons to leave. And I invited L2 over to my place for a drink and I assumed L1 would come with as well. This is a polite way of saying to her, come over to my place and we’ll get to know each other some more. But maybe I was mistaken because when we got to B’s car, L2 said no she wants to go to her place.

So I left but within minutes I got a call from L1 asking me to come back. So I did and when I arrived L2 got into my car, keeping the door open. And she asked me, “so what’s gonna happen if I go with you…” And I repeated what I said before. Basically we’ll go to my place, have some wine and get to know each other better. She kept repeating herself to the point where she was asking, “…well what about buying me breakfast, and what about some money for taxi fare back to Morningside.” This started sound like she wanted something more specific like cash. Well to my big surprise she blurted out, “…can’t you just give me R400.” And I retorted, “I don’t pay for sex, I never paid L1 for sex.” So she got out of my car and I left them.

I’m leaving out a lot of detail because I just want to highlight something here. In South Africa, as in most other countries in the world, prostitution is illegal. But it is happening. I saw it with my own eyes in United Arab Emirates, a Muslim country where there is such strict control of what the public sees or hears about, what’s allowed and not allowed. And when something is taboo it does not mean people will stop doing it because it may become more alluring. In fact in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs sex is part of the most first level, Biological and Physiological needs along with air, food, drink, shelter, warmth and sleep. So how do I see sexual currency.

Well as one of my best friends (a brilliant accountant) once described it. When you go to a club, you pay the entrance fee, you buy drinks for yourself, and you buy some women drinks. So you may or may not go home with the women. But there was a real cost. Now the flip side is just go find a women who will accept the money in exchange for the sexual favour and get straight to the point. Don’t waste time, energy, just accept that you desire it and go for it.

Well in conclusion my approach would be to deny those weak urges. Instead be a man, be a real man and make sure women in your life are with you because they enjoy being with you. They enjoy the experience of being with you and the sexual attraction is both ways. When you think in economics terms the supply has to meet the demand. So for you guys reading this do not fall into the trap of sexual currency.

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