7 Steps on How to get over Your ex-Girlfriend

I received this question via my Facebook profile recently:

I thought I was over her… but thoughts of her come back to haunt me…and it seems it affects me when I try and get something new going with other women… and I’m there but I’m not there… you know what I mean?

What would be a sure fire hit of getting over the ex?

My response: You believe the lie most people do – that you are empty or incomplete without being in a relationship. There is no short answer to this question but here’s some immediate steps to take immediately after a break-up with your girlfriend:

1. Call your old friends up and ask what they are doing so you could hang out and do guy things. Ask your female friends to introduce you to new women.
2. Remove any photos or anything else that reminds you of her like birthday gifts. If they are not useful or you can live without them, just throw them away.
3. It might seem impossible at first, but try flirting with other girls, even if you don’t like them. Eventually you’ll find one you like.
4. If she calls you or writes you in anyway, do not answer or reply. Do not call her, write emails, letters, instant messages, text messages, etc.
5. If you run into each other at the same place, leave if possible, or stay at the opposite end of wherever she is.
6. No matter how much you may want to be friends, you have to make her or yourself the enemy. This may or may not be temporary, but it’s necessary for this time being.
7. Do NOT think about her. Avoid her. There will be someone else in your love life who will make her seem like a stepping stone.

The above list was taken from a Wikihow article and modified slightly.

Now a Jedi-mind trick you may want to employ is dissociation using NLP. The basic process goes like this: Visualise your ex-girlfriend. Now recall a few of the best times you had together. As that images becomes more clear in your mind begin to push her further away from you. So your image of her becomes smaller, less bright and eventually blurs. Keep doing this with each of the major experiences you shared together. Remove yourself from the visualisation and push her away from you within the mental image.

The second step to this mental trick is to associate all the bad memories you had with her as graphic and vivid as possible. So recall all the worst times, all the times she did things which totally pissed you off and bring that image closer to you. So the idea is that you disassociate from all the good memories and associate with all the bad memories.

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Tags: ex-girlfriend, nlp