Entries Tagged 'Advice' ↓

This post is a continuation of ideas I started exploring from Osho’s Love, Freedom and Aloneness book…

There is an belief that it’s better to give then to receive, it’s better to sacrifice yourself for the good of others, your country, your family or your children. Osho says this is a lie, a blatant lie. The priests and the politicians have held against you from the beginning of time. Even the Oracle at Delphi saying, ?Know Thyself? got it wrong because how can you even begin to know yourself if you do not love yourself? Dr John Gray said in the movie, The Secret, you have to give more to yourself, so that you can begin to overflow, and then you share with others.

When you do not love yourself it’s nothing more than avoiding yourself. Everything you do, watching television, listening to the radio, socialising, working, lovemaking, is all escaping from yourself. So how do you begin to get in touch with that part of you that you have been denying or ignoring? One way is to bring to the conscious mind those good things that you know others see in you, and you see in yourself from time to time. Do the following exercise and share the results with me by posting a comment below.

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Popularity: 71% [?]

Life, relationships and all human interactions relate best to the basic principles of economics which is supply and demand. When you have an oversupply of goods e.g. desperate guys trying to get the attention of an attractive woman their value drops very fast in her eyes because they are all doing the same thing to try and impress her. Now imagine a guy who ignores her and talks to other women creating curiosity and interest from her; his value rises because he is in demand and the more other women he speaks to this attractive women will start to become interesting in getting his attention. So you want to avoid group behaviour. Another way to look at this is to keep investing in yourself. And the more you invest in yourself the more attractive you become. And the more you give to yourself, you begin to overflow so that you have more to share with those around you.

Although I’m not a fan of John Gray, this concept is from a quote he makes in the hit movie The Secret. Remember you can contact your friendly neighbourhood Dating Coach here.

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Another innocent question I answered, asked by a girl on Yahoo! Answers: When people French kiss does the girl put the tongue in the mouth our the guy

The simple answer is that you both do. Here’s some tips from a guy who’s been kissing girls for about 10 years Never put your tongue inside his mouth immediately. Instead use it to lick his lips a bit. Start with his upper lip and move to his lower lip. Use your lips to kiss his lips and his chin and his cheeks and move around his mouth a bit. After a while stick you tongue in his mouth but only briefly. Try to tell if he likes it. One way would be to see if he “bites” your tongue by trying to keep it in his mouth. Mix all this up and you’ll be a super kisser one day soon…

If you need more details on French Kissing checkout this detailed description on Wikihow.

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Your internal state plays a much bigger role in your social success and specifically in your success with the opposite sex. For men this can be very, very problematic. Let me give an example. When you are not feeling good, maybe depressed, maybe lonely or frustrated…you can still drive your car. You get in, start the car and you drive away. If you are angry you may drive faster than usual. If you are lonely you may drive around mindlessly trying to kill time or searching for someone external to you. The thing is you do not forget how to drive your car.

Now for most men this is not the case when it comes to interactions with women. And it goes without saying the more attractive the woman, the more your internal state prevents you from “being normal” around women. So what can you do about this? What can you do to prevent nervousness from destroying your confidence? What can you do to restore your internal state to equilibrium?

The more you ignore this problem, the bigger it is bound to become. Your body becomes conditioned to react in a certain way when you approach women. Even when you are introduced to an attractive women your body will start reacting in the only way it knows how. And this is something you may feel is beyond your control - but it’s not!

You can program your internal state by way of conditioning. What I mean here is by training yourself to respond in the way that you want to. You can begin to sensitise yourself with practise over time. It could take months or it could take years. Now this is where you may want to listen in closely. You can reduce the time to condition your emotions by working on changing the patterns of behaviour. One thing I’ve been doing more and more recently is playing certain types of music on my cellphone/mp3 player when I am about to speak to an audience. I have used the same approach before going out. I’ve chosen some very specific pieces of music that really pushing my internal state way up. Up meaning into a heightened state of awareness as well as a high energy feeling. This is all going on inside of my head and whether I am aware of it or not it’s been having a profound impact on my social interactions.

So what music does this to you? Here’s some suggestions:

• Carmina Burana by Carl Orff
• Imperial March (DarthVader’s Theme) by John Williams
• Aria by Yanni

There are many more. For some people rock music may do it. For some people some other kind of music may do it. The thing is to remember you are not helpless. You can change your internal state. You can have a deeper sense of well being when you choose to control your internal state. And in a very circular way success in social interactions is all about being normal - in “women talk” - just being yourself.

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The last few days I’ve been in beautiful Cape Town, South Africa. Now I visit this wonderful city about once every two or three months and whenever I am here it feels like home - that is another story. I’d like to share with a lesson in charm school.

A few days before leaving Joburg I booked my car rental through Avis - the “we try harder company.” I got the best deal and was content. First thing I realised after checking in at the newly renamed OR Tambo International (Johannesburg International) airport is that I forgot my drivers license in my car. This was parked at the long term parking so there was no way I’m going to run out to the parking lot to retrieve it before taking off from Cape Town.

The little voice in my head told me “don’t worry you’re a damn charming fellow and whomever you speak to at Avis in Cape Town will help you out.” This is where I first programmed the belief into my own mind.

Now let’s skip to Cape Town airport and my arrival at the Avis desk. I am a “preferred member” but left my damn card also back at my place in Jozi. So with only slight hesitation I headed over to the Preferred Customer section (always a shorter queue and all for filling in a form to get a loyalty card.) I stood up straight and in my most authentically charming voice told the woman behind the counter I have a special situation , she must please try to help me out.

Read the above again - I basically issued an instruction, not a request. You see the human brain is the most programmable computer ever invented. And the great school system prepares you to become an automaton who listen to commands much more than questioning them - just look at how people around you behave. If you studies any NLP at all you’ll be smiling by now.

So as she looked at me I also looked deep into her eyes. I used a technique called “Sending” recently learned from Dr Paul Dobransky to send her good feelings. Next thing is I assumed rapport and treated her like an old friend. Smiling but not to much and always keeping very good body language - meaning confident body language. You loose more by poor body language and bad voice tone then any crap you may speak.

Anyway the end result here was that I used charm instead of flattery. I did not compliment this woman except in the end and it was sincere. Now most people in my situation would have tried to be overly nice - this is flattery. And most guys when meeting a new girl they find attractive dish out the compliments without the women doing one thing to deserve it. This woman from Avis deserved a compliment. And I may just send her some flowers before my next trip in June - this will secure continued excellent and preferential service. I like to see this as building goodwill for the future.

What’s your experience with charming people to help you out of problematic situations?

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MOST dating advice tells you to be honest, but what does this really mean? Often people confuse “honesty” with “revealing everything” - but can we be too honest, and can it lose us dates?

There are four common mistakes people make about honesty.

1. Confusing honesty with self-criticism

People worry that if they don’t tell their potential date everything right away it may cause problems in the future. To avoid disappointment, people describe themselves far too literally. Take Juliet, stunningly pretty and a size 18.

Worried potential dates might not like her; she described herself as a large lady. Not surprisingly she didn’t get much response. But when she changed the description to curvaceous, she was overwhelmed by guys wanting to meet her.

2. Too much too soon

Sometimes people confuse openness with honesty and tell a potential date everything. For example, people often reveal an overwhelming list of all their contact details including email and telephone numbers or a laundry list of all their previous relationships and what went wrong.

3. Telling your life history

If you’ve had problems in your past, like poor health or an abusive relationship, you often want to tell others. Lindsay had been with Phil for seven years, and he’d cheated on her many times.

Eventually she ended the relationship, but was so worried about being cheated on, she told every new partner how badly Phil had treated her.

Lindsay was trying to protect herself, but her would-be dates either thought she still had feelings for Phil or found her anger off-putting.

4. Appearing too keen

We all have ideas about what we want from a relationship - maybe a big family, or a white wedding. Some people feel they need to declare these desires on a first date. This may scare off a potential date or make you seem desperate, not honest.

So how can we avoid making these mistakes?

1. Deal with any problems before you start dating. For serious issues ask your doctor to refer you to a counsellor. You may also find Anne Dickson’s book, A Woman in Your Own Right, helps you identify and overcome confidence problems.

2. Practice flirting and chatting. Ask friends to give you pointers on how to sell yourself. Try Peta Heskell’s Flirt Coach, or Joy Brown’s Dating for Dummies for conversation and confidence ideas.

3. Get a friend to act out a date. They can pretend to chat you up and you respond as normal to pinpoint problems. For example, they can point out when you provide too much personal information.

4. Remember if you say too much to a potential date it isn’t a disaster. You might scare off some people, but many people are more forgiving. Chalk it up to experience.

5. Don’t forget that over time can say what you want, and as a relationship develops you can confide your secrets, hopes and fears.

Key points for honest communication:

# Sell yourself. Don’t put yourself down in the mistaken belief that you’re being ‘honest’. # Don’t be afraid to talk about your successes, things that interest you, comments on a film you may have seen, or a book you’ve read. # Ask lots of questions. Not only will you reduce your worries, but you’ll also have enough information to decide if you want another date.

source: ic North Wales

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by Camilla Lloyd

The simplest definition of speed dating is dating intensified. Instead of three hours, you have three minutes; instead of one date, you are dating fifteen people. It is up to you to up your game. But in the next few minutes I will tell you how.

I do not need to tell you how nerve-wrechcking a normal date is. So, I would not blame you if you were bordering on petrified before going to a speed dating event. There is actually less reason to be nervous, because the chances of impressing one person out of fifteen are considerably easier than just one out of one. The key is even if you are about to melt into a puddle of mush on the floor, that you don’t look like you are about to melt into a puddle of mush on the floor.

Easier said than done.

Be aware of the body language you are sending out. Don’t hunch over, giggle nervously or avoid eye-contact. Remember your manners. Chances are your partner is equally nervous, so they will understand the odd nervous snort. But you need to show them that under the nervousness is a self-assured you.

Have something to eat before the event. Just avoid the garlic, please. Eating may help to settle the butterflies partying in your stomach. You may also be tempted to have the odd drink to settle the nerves. That’s all good and well – the food will just help prevent the easy-going you from being the person who everyone will remember as having gotten motherless at the last speed dating event.

If you are one of those people who talk incessantly and at the rate of a fighter jet when you get nervous, don’t. Don’t blurt out embarrassing family secrets, don’t ask impulsive sexual questions, don’t lie, and please – oh, please – don’t start the conversation on politics, death, your alien abduction or probing questions around religion. That is one surefire way to kill any romantic mood.

Have a prepared list of questions and interesting, but not controversial, topics ready. Even just knowing it is there in your bag or in your back pocket is enough to make you feel a little less panicked. That doesn’t mean that those are the only things that you may talk about. The list is there purely as a backup, and as a source of interesting conversations when the “So, what do you do for a living?” conversation gets a little tired.

Now, that wasn’t so hard, was it?

Just one last thing. Like Cell C says, if they wanted your phone in the movie they would have put it there. Switch it off!

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If you listen to a group of attractive, single women talking alone over dinner or drinks, the topic will always turn to MEN.

And in most cases, it will eventually turn into a RANT session about how hard
it is to find good men to date…

Which will lead to a FULL-ON RAG SESSION about men in general…

…And wind up with a detailed list of all the traits guys have that are ANNOYING
AS HELL.

The reality is that single women have an entire laundry list of traits, qualities,
and characteristics that they HATE in single guys.

Did you know this?

I didn’t think so.

Well, the truth is that up until a few years ago, I didn’t know this either.

So take heart in the idea that you’re about to learn something that most men on
this planet will DIE not knowing.

My hope is that what I’m about to share with you will change how you interact
with women FOREVER… and help you meet and date more of the kinds of women you’re
interested in.

Onward.

FRIENDSHIPS AND ROMANCE

For women, friendships and romantic relationships are two separate things. They
are NOT the same.

One can lead to another, but it’s RARE when it happens.

Remember that.

One CAN lead to another, but it’s RARE.

“Romantic” relationships are very different from “friend” relationships.

While most men would sleep with most of their female “friends” if the woman “came
on” to them, most women would NOT sleep with most men that they consider “just
friends”.

But why is this?

How do women differentiate between “just friends” and “I’ll be intimate with you”?

And why is it so hard to become “more than friends” with a woman you’ve been “just
friends” with for a long time?

The answer to this riddle is very interesting to me.

I believe that the answer comes down to understanding HOW women “know” when they
want to “be intimate” with a man… and, even MORE
importantly, understanding how women “know” when they DON’T want to “be intimate”
with a man…

The thing that tells a woman whether the guy she’s with is “friend” material or
“lover” material is how she FEELS.

It’s a combination of EMOTIONAL feelings and PHYSICAL feelings.

It is NOT logic.

She might USE logic to “rationalize” her decision… or she might USE logic to
SOUND like she has a good reason for either “being with” or
“not being with” a particular guy.

But don’t let that distract you.

Logic isn’t important AT ALL in this context.

So let me say this another way.

A woman FEELS something emotionally and/or physically, then she uses those FEELINGS
as the basis for her “decisions” and actions with a
particular guy.

If she feels that “Ewwww Yuck!” feeling, then her “logical” conclusion will probably
not be that she wants to date the guy in question.

If she feels that “It’s Gettin’ Hot In Here” feeling, then her “logical” conclusion
will probably be that this guy is interesting and attractive, and a good “choice”
to date. At this point she’ll take ACTION on her feelings and thoughts…

It goes like this:

FEEL—>THINK—>ACT

First the FEELING, then the THOUGHT… and THEN the action.

Now, with this in mind, let me ask you an important question:

How do most guys behave around women that they’re “romantically” interested in?

And another:

What do they do to get the woman that’s the object of their desires to be with
them?

Take a few minutes to think about this. Make a list if you have paper and pen
handy.

I’m serious. I’ll wait.

Come back when you’re finished.

Now take a look at your list.

I’ll bet that almost every single thing on your list was something “external”.

In other words, your list probably contains things like “Take her to dinner” and
“Give her compliments” and “Buy her flowers” and “Call
her often”.

These are all things that demonstrate that he’s INTERESTED.

They are NOT things that trigger those emotional and physical feelings inside
of a woman that tell her that THIS IS THE GUY.

In other words, men try to use “props” to LET A WOMAN KNOW HE’S INTERESTED…

…HOPING that when the woman sees these displays she’ll be interested in him.

Almost NONE of the things men do to court women make women FEEL ANYTHING even
remotely similar to “Attraction” and “Arousal”.

Of course, you know this.

You’ve probably done this stuff about a bazillion times. I have, too. I know what
it’s like to try OVER AND OVER to let a particular woman know that I’m interested…
only to have her NOT RESPOND in a “romantic” way.

The PROBLEM with this kind of thing is that it makes TWO HUGE MISTAKES at once.

First, it’s just the plain-old wrong way to go. Telling or showing a woman that
you “like her” has no effect on how she feels about YOU.

In the moment it sure seems to make sense… “If I show her how I feel, she’ll
return the feelings”.

Duh.

Like I said, it seems like the right thing to do in the moment (when your inner
little girl has a big fat crush). But it’s not… it will have NO effect on her
feelings for you.

And second, it communicates clearly that YOU DON’T GET IT. It tips a woman off
INSTANTLY that you’re not hip to what’s going… and it
kills your chances with her.

Say what?

You mean that doing nice things for women, and trying to show how you feel can
actually HURT your chances with a woman?

Yea, it can.

Look, if you’ve been dating a woman exclusively for six months, and her birthday
comes… it’s OK to buy her a gift and tell her that you like spending time with
her.

YOU’RE ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP.

But if you’ve known a woman for six DAYS and you try this kind of thing, you’re
going to shoot yourself in the foot.

Women are EXPERTS at recognizing men who DON’T GET IT. And if you DON’T get it,
PLUS you’re trying to compensate for the fact that
you don’t get it with gifts and compliments, then you’re REALLY screwed (or not
screwed, as the case may be).

Remember what I’m about to tell you.

Burn it into your mind.

Write it on a sticky-note and put it on your computer monitor…

SINGLE, ATTRACTIVE WOMEN WATCH MEN TRY TO WIN THEM OVER ALL DAY LONG. THEY KNOW
WHEN A GUY DOESN’T “GET IT”… AND
THEY’RE ANNOYED WHEN A GUY WHO DOESN’T “GET IT” JUST KEEPS TRYING AND TRYING AND
TRYING.

Keep in mind that single, attractive women watch guys do this stuff 24/7. They
shake their pretty heads and say “He doesn’t get it… He doesn’t get it… He
doesn’t get it” over and over and over.

The point is that if you DON’T GET IT, then nothing you do is going to work for
you.

The problem is bigger than you can imagine, and you’re going to need to take a
totally different road to get where you’re going…

WHAT ATTRACTIVE WOMEN HATE MOST ABOUT SINGLE GUYS…

Let’s return to where we started.

There are a few particular things that REALLY annoy single, attractive women.

One of the reasons that these things annoy women is because they’re DEAL KILLERS.

A woman can like everything about you, but if you do these things (or even ONE
of these things), it can DESTROY your chances of success with a particular woman.

Here are a few of the BIG things that single women hate:

1) Giving Up Your Status In Exchange For Her Attention And Approval

If I had to describe the one single thing that both annoys women and DESTROYS
a guy’s chances, it would be this.

It has taken me a long time to see this particular pattern, but it’s EVERYWHERE.

Men, in effect, say “Hi, I want your approval and attention. I’m willing to let
YOU be the one who’s in control… and let YOU call the shots… and do anything
to please YOU… if you’ll give me your attention and
approval”.

But the problem is that women DON’T WANT you to give up your status and “manliness”.

Women aren’t ATTRACTED to men who act weak and tentative.

Women secretly HATE IT when a guy does something to demonstrate that he’ll give
away his power in return for approval.

THEY HATE IT!

I could literally write an entire book on this one single concept.

Take a few minutes to think this one over, and maybe write down the ways that
you make this mistake with women.

More importantly, think about how you’re going to STOP DOING IT IMMEDIATELY.

2) Being Needy, Clingy, And Insecure

When one person “clings” to another person “psychologically”, the person who is
being “clinged to” RESENTS and REJECTS the needy,
clingy emotional parasite…

This is WUSS behavior at its worst.

If a guy is on the phone with a girl he just met, and she says “Hey, I have to
go”, he might say “Aw, well… um… OK. Um, will you call me when you get home?”.

Or let’s say a guy and a girl are out on their first date, and they’re walking
around in a large department store.

Most guys will follow the woman everywhere, and not leave her side for a minute.

If she wanders away, he’ll come find her IMMEDIATELY.

He’ll stay physically close to her, as if he’s afraid she’ll leave without him.

And an even worse example is a guy who is so emotionally insecure that he actually
ASKS a woman to tell him that he’s nice, fun, interesting, etc.

“Do you think I’m interesting?”

“Do you think we could ever have a relationship?”

“Am I your type?”

Women HATE this stuff. It makes them shiver with the heebie-jeebies. It makes
them want to RUN AWAY.

3) Not Leading - And Even Worse, Trying To Get Her To Lead

Women have WUSS-DAR.

One of the things that triggers a woman’s WUSS-DAR is a man who FOLLOWS.

The REAL problem is that most women won’t try to LEAD naturally.

So you’ve got a situation where a man is trying to FOLLOW a woman who isn’t LEADING.

He’s looking for little cues so he knows where to go and what to do… but he
isn’t getting them.

So what does he do?

He ASKS for them!

He says “So, I was thinking of maybe taking you to Olive Garden for dinner…
how does that sound?”.

Everything about the way he asks says to the woman “I’m trying to figure out what
you want me to do… please help me know how you want me to act, where you want
me to take you, and what you want me to say”.

This is ATTRACTION DEATH!

men who don’t lead, and even worse, try to get a woman to lead, ANNOY THE HELL
OUT OF SINGLE WOMEN.

They HATE IT!

4) Using Insecure, Approval-Seeking, Low-Status Posture, Gestures, Voice Tone,
And Body Language

There’s a term that single, attractive, in-demand women use to describe men who
use weak, approval-seeking posture, gestures,
comments, and mannerisms…

The term is “NICE”.

“He’s nice… but… there’s no chemistry.”

This is one of those areas that’s not easy to talk about.

Since SO DAMN MANY GUYS do this stuff, it’s almost impossible to explain.

It’s like trying to tell a fish that they’re not going to get anywhere in life
if they stay wet.

The fish doesn’t even KNOW it’s wet in the first place.

But let me try.

This is important.

Go spend a day observing couples.

Go places where couples that have just met spend time together.

Bars, clubs, coffee shops, whatever.

Now watch the GUYS.

Watch how they lean towards the women.

Watch how they raise their eyebrows in
exaggerated response to women’s comments.

Watch how they slump over, let their shoulders fall forward, and smile fake-ly
at whatever the women say.

If you’re close enough, listen to how men ask questions and make comments with
a voice tone that says “I’m insecure and I’m trying
to be extra nice to compensate for it”.

You’ll see it EVERYWHERE.

In fact, you’ll see it so much that you’ll probably write me back to tell me that
I’m the one who’s crazy, and that since it happens so much, it must be “the right
way”.

Well, it’s not.

If there’s one thing that triggers an attractive single woman’s WUSS-DAR, it’s
a man’s posture, gestures, eye contact, voice tone, etc.

It all happens in an INSTANT.

Women read this stuff and interpret it as instantly and accurately as you read
and interpret the cover of Playboy.

NO ANALYSIS NECESSARY.

I’d say that probably 90% of all men alive today INSTANTLY disqualify themselves
with women because of this problem.

Their voice tone, gestures, posture, etc. TELEGRAPH the message that they’re a
WUSS.

They do a thousand weird little things to let a woman know that they’re uncomfortable
and “not being themselves”.

And you guessed it…

Single women HATE IT!

5) Not Understanding That She’s A Woman And You’re A Man

I’m about to get philosophical on your ass, so be cool.

When it comes down to it, most men don’t understand women.

But the REAL kicker is that most men don’t understand MEN, either!

Most guys don’t know what it’s like to get in touch with their MALE NATURE.

Combine these two issues, and you get a guy who behaves in ways that DO NOT trigger
ATTRACTION in women.

Women have a “nature”. A female nature.

Men also have a “nature”. You guessed it, it’s a MALE nature.

Women are coy. They like to play hard to get. They like to enjoy the chase. They
love anticipation. They love to “let a guy catch them”…

Men are competitive. Men are dominant. Men like to play rough games, win things,
and rule their territory.

Well guess what?

Most men don’t BEHAVE like men when they’re in the presence of a woman that they
“like”.

And since most men don’t understand female human nature, they don’t demonstrate
that they “get it” when they’re with women that they “like”.

Women like men. Men like women. There are POWERFUL causes at play here.

When you’re around a woman you like, don’t act like a GIRLY-MAN. It’s not sexy,
and it’s not attractive…

And single women HATE IT!

6) Not Being Interesting To Be Around

Underneath most behavior that I see most guys acting out is a “core belief” that
goes like this:

“I don’t believe that an attractive woman would want to be around me just because
she enjoys my presence… so I make up for it by saying and doing certain things
that I hope she’ll enjoy… and if she enjoys those
other things enough, then maybe she’ll want to spend more time with me.”

Heavy, man.

Well guess what? Most attractive single women KNOW that if a guy isn’t interesting
to be around, they she’s eventually going to go CRAZY being around him.

In other words, no amount of material gifts, compliments, dinners, and other “displays”
will EVER compensate for a lack of BEING INTERESTING.

Here’s a profound thought:

I and several other guys I know have many women who call us often… just because
they enjoy being around us.

These women would be happy just to be in the same room with us… and enjoy our
company.

And yes, these women CALL US.

Often.

Material gifts, food, flowers, and other “displays” have ZERO lasting value to
a woman when it comes to how she FEELS about you…

An attractive single woman wants a guy who LIGHTS HER UP. She wants to FEEL GOOD.

She wants mystery… she wants to laugh… she wants a challenge… she wants
sexual tension…

If you’re using compliments, gifts, food, and other “displays” to get a woman’s
attention… you need to ask yourself a tough question:

Is it because you don’t believe that a woman would want to be around you just
to be around you?

Because if you don’t know how to be INTERESTING to a woman, then no amount of
compensation is going to fix the problem.

If you’re boring, predictable, and uninteresting, then you’re never going to have
women calling YOU to hang out.

Oh, and women HATE IT.

7) Not Understanding Attraction

This is a BIGGIE.

You hear me talking about it all the time, right?

Maybe now that you’ve read this newsletter you’ll have a better context to understand
what I’m about to tell you…

If you “get it” with women, it’s SUPER INTERESTING and ATTRACTIVE to them.

Women can INSTANTLY FEEL IT when they’re with a guy who “gets it”.

Women know very quickly if they’re talking to a guy who understands himself and
women… and who enjoys creating and building sexual tension.

Women know if a guy speaks the SECRET LANGUAGE of “Sexual Communication”.

If he doesn’t, then she stops all communication on that level.

If he does, then it continues.

ATTRACTION Isn’t A Choice.

Attraction is an emotional and physical RESPONSE… and you can’t “convince” a
woman to feel it with logic, gifts, and NICENESS.

Attraction is the result of a woman meeting a man who understands how attraction
works… and who knows what to do in each specific
situation to progress to the next level.

The PROBLEM with ATTRACTION, and with success with women in general is that the
things you need to DO to be successful are NOT
OBVIOUS.

They’re “counter intuitive”, in many cases.

In other words, they’re the OPPOSITE of what you’d THINK would make sense.

You have to do things like CREATE TENSION… stop doing something that she likes…
give her time to miss you… etc.

And if you don’t understand ATTRACTION, a woman is going to KNOW IT.

And guess what?

Single women HATE IT when a man doesn’t understand ATTRACTION and how to communicate
on this “other level”.

Now that I’ve shared the mistakes, you need the next piece of the puzzle. You
need to get an education on how attraction works for women… and the RIGHT things
to do up front to give her those emotional/physical feelings inside.

Right now you’re probably feeling that excited “Ah Ha!” feeling.

That’s because you understand something at a different level… you’ve used your
mind to understand something complex… and you feel good about bettering yourself.

Well this is just the TIP of the iceberg.

As educational as this has been, this is only the beginning.

If you’re starting to realize how important it is to get this area of your life
handled, then I recommend you make a commitment and take your education to a WORLD
CLASS level.

And what’s the best way to do that?

Well, I’ve spent the last several years of my life figuring out exactly what does
and doesn’t work with women.

I figured this stuff out for MYSELF… and then I took what I’ve learned and put
it all together to help others learn as well.

My Double Your Dating eBook represents THOUSANDS of hours of research, testing,
getting to know guys who were successful with women, and generally organizing
every level of this knowledge into an easy-to-understand system that ANY guy can
use to increase his success with women and dating.

And I’ll tell you something…

It works.

This eBook is the most advanced and effective program of it’s kind available anywhere
at ANY price.

And I have an offer that you’re not likely to find repeated anywhere else…

I’ll send it to you at MY RISK.

You can try it out for a full 7 days, and if you don’t see MASSIVE results, just
let me know… and pay nothing.

That’s right, you can try it FREE for
7 days.

On top of all that, I’d like to invite you to sign up for my free, 3-times-weekly
dating tips newsletter.

There’s no obligation,
and you can easily remove yourself anytime. And believe me, I hate spam as much
as you do. You don’t have to worry about me ever sharing your email address with
anyone.

Go here to download
my eBook and to sign up:

•
Free Dating Tips Newsletter And Download eBook
•

And I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David DeAngelo

________________________________________________________________

© 2001-2004 David DeAngelo Communications Inc,
All Rights Reserved.” Double Your Dating” and “David DeAngelo” are trademarks
used by David DeAngelo Communications Inc.

Popularity: 7% [?]

Humans are remarkably similar to animals. Despite the faculty of speech, most human communication occurs through body language. And now speed dating, like animal courtship, allows you the chance to choose a partner based on a short period of strutting and posing. Your date is not going to jump into your lap and pull ticks out of your hair, so you need to learn how send and receive the subtleties of body language.

Your date likes you if:
-he smiles at you. A ‘true’ smile is one which changes rapidly from a small movement to a broad expression, and crinkles the corners of the eyes.
-his pupils dilate.
-his eyebrows rise and fall as soon as he sees you.
-he maintains eye contact. But, if, at some point in the conversation, he drops his gaze to look downwards, it means he feels comfortable with you.
-he mirrors your body language. We subconsciously imitate people we like, even to the point of speaking like them.
-his legs are pointed in your direction.

If you like your date, then:
-smile.
-don’t fidget or cross your arms. This will tell him that you feel uncomfortable in his presence.
-during the course of the conversation, lean forward. But respect his personal space. To lean forward too early into the date is threatening. If he leans forward too, you know the feeling is mutual, but if he sits back, retreat!
-don’t touch him. In a relationship of only 3 minutes, touching is uncalled for.
-look at him while he is speaking, but don’t stare. Lean your head to one side you show you are interested.
-mirror his behaviour, but not to the point that you look as though you are making fun of him.
-flick your hair, gently and sparingly.

There are unfortunately shady characters out there. So beware if:
-he won’t make eye contact with you. It’s widely believed that to look left while speaking indicates the person is lying.
-he fidgets and crosses his arms. He is obviously uncomfortable around you. It may just be the case that he is shy, but do you really want to spend valuable time trying to get through to the ‘inner him’?
-he leans too far into your personal space or tries to touch you.
-his gestures are wide and aggressive. Pointing, raising his voice and sudden movements are all aggressive.
-if his body tells you one thing, but his speech tells you another. Body language is generally taken to be more revealing, because it is largely unconscious.

But bear in mind that when a dog wags his tail, it means he’s happy. When a cat wags his tail, beware. Every person is different. Don’t base your diagnosis on one signal, but rather on a few supporting ones. And trust your instincts. It’s a cliché, but a true one.

Download my Speed Dating ebook here.

Popularity: 20% [?]

by Mehmet Aksoy from www.girldatingtips.com 

Chances are women won’t arbitrarily flirt with you on the street. They won’t offer their bodies to you. They won’t approach you and ask for your number. You have to initiate meeting women.

Once you meet a woman, she will decide if she wants to further the relationship. If you exchange numbers, you still must initiate. Call her. Don’t wait for her to call you. You have to get out there and actively pursue women. Meet and date as many women as you can. Even if you decide not to date the women you meet, you will gain valuable experience just by taking the initiative to approach them.

Taking ACTION is the key to success with women. The ability to approach women comes with confidence and also with lots of practice. The better you feel about yourself, the more women will respond to you. Your behaviour can be a direct suggestion of your level of confidence. You may need to build up your self-esteem in order to feel confident communicating with women. A man with high self-esteem will confidently walk right up to the most beautiful woman in the room and start talking to her. However, a man who is not sure of himself will be unsuccessful in achieving his goal of meeting and seducing the woman of his dreams.

Which guy do you want to be? If you don’t feel good about yourself or you know of areas you could improve, take a trip to the nearest library or bookstore. Pick up a couple of books on how to improve your self-image. You should recognize and try to improve your weaknesses thereby lowering the possibility of rejection.

Popularity: 10% [?]