Entries Tagged 'Advice' ↓

A great question I was asked a little while ago was “Why would an attractive woman living in a big city ever use the internet to meet a guy?”

On first glance, it DOES seem kind of bizarre. We all know that women are “hit on” in regular life, be it on their way to work, when they are out with friends, at a club, etc.

And an attractive woman would have even more of this, so it would seem like the last thing a sane woman would do is seriously put up a profile on a dating site.

Well, the answer is that there is far more than meets the eye to this situation:

#1: THE NET SAVES TIME AND ALLOWS FOR GREATER SELECTIVITY

First of all, although women DO meet lots of guys in their regular life, they STILL don’t often meet a guy they actually DESIRE. That means a guy who’s got that magical combination of things that makes her feel CHEMISTRY.
You see, women don’t feel desperate just to have sex. They know they can have it anytime, so they tend to be a little more selective. The fact that tons of guys try to hit on her doesn’t mean she WANTS those guys.
The internet gives women a chance to check out TONS of guys before they “waste time” on them. Women can read about a guy, his profile, his pic, she can chat over the net and therefore SCREEN the guy before meeting him.
(Unfortunately, most guys give off a TOTALLY WRONG IMPRESSION of themselves, i.e. UNSEXY, from their profile. I’ll discuss more on this later in this article.)

#2: THE NET ALLOWS FOR GREATER DISCRETION

There is another benefit of the internet for women. You see, women still have this fear of being labelled a “slut” and the social disapproval that comes with that. But through the internet, she doesn’t have to worry about explaining her desires, she can just find a guy who has already made it clear either in his chat to her or in his profile, or by the sheer nature of a particular personals site, that he is looking for the same thing she is.
These days, there is a site for everyone, no matter WHAT you are looking for - whether it’s a relationship, something casual, something within your ethnicity, or something very bizarre and far-out - there is a site for it.
All she has to do is just click and go for it. No embarrasing discussion for her, since she’s already been accepted by the very nature of the site.
And NO ONE else has to know a thing.
On the net, you can state what you want, and find someone who wants the same thing, and presto - you got it. Very direct, and very discreet.
This is a HUGE factor that appeals to women.

#3: INTERNET PERSONALS SITES ARE NO LONGER STIGMATIZED

Another factor that is appealing to women about the internet is the fact that there is no longer a stigma to using it, even for women. Many of these sites have spent MILLIONS of dollars on shaping a woman-friendly image and marketing to women to help them feel that meeting someone through the net is trendy, hip and cool.

Article by Michael W. From: www.girldatingtips.com

Popularity: 10% [?]

I get a lot of guys who write in to ask me for dating advice on how to behave around women. Many of those questions focus on the first meeting or the first date.
I thought I’d devote one entire newsletter to a concept that I feel is VITAL to understand if you’re wondering how to behave around a woman you’ve just met.

A MISTAKE ALMOST EVERY GUY MAKES

I’ve noticed a KEY difference between the way men and women act when they meet a “potential mate”.

Women usually act in a way that can be characterized like this:

“You’re interesting to me. I’d like to get to know you better, and we can see where this goes.”

Men usually act in a way that can be characterized like this:

“I am so interested in you that I’m nervous. In fact, I’m already thinking of you as a potential girlfriend or wife… or at least a one-night stand.”

In other words, women are usually casual and laid-back when they’re first meeting a guy…

But GUYS tend to act like every girl is a POTENTIAL WIFE.

As you can imagine, this creates a lot of tension and pressure.

And I’m not talking about the GOOD kind, either.

I’m talking about the kind that makes men shiver and shake with nervousness, and women feel uncomfortable because the MAN is acting uncomfortable.

I KNOW that you can relate to this in some way.

THE ANSWER

The simple dating advice here is…

DON’T DO IT.

If you start acting all freakish and nervous when you’re talking to a woman, you’re probably going to screw things up before they’ve even had a chance to get started.

Treating a woman that you’ve just met as if she very well could be the love of your life is something you should NEVER do.

Instead, take a very different approach.

My favorite is to ASSUME that every woman has SOMETHING that’s going to annoy me, bother me, or SCREW UP HER CHANCES with me.

The MAIN reason that I do this…

SURPRISE…

IS THAT IT’S TRUE!

Duh.

The fact is that MOST women are NOT compatible “long term” with most men. In other words, there if you do get into a long-term relationship with a particular woman, the chances are that she’s going to have things about her that you don’t like.

One of my favorite Cocky & Funny themes to follow is “You’re screwing up your chances with me”.

Let’s say I’m walking down the street with a girl to have a cup of tea. Let’s assume that she and I just met the night before, I got her number, and now we’re walking from my place to tea.

On the way in the door to the coffee shop, she trips over the doorway.

I might look at her, shake my head in an “overly dramatic fake annoyed” way, and say “This relationship just isn’t going to work”.

Then, let’s say fifteen minutes later she spills her tea on the table and herself.

I’ll shake my head again and say “What did I tell you about this kind of behavior?”.

In other words, I’m communicating the very OPPOSITE of “You’re a potential wife”. I’m saying “I’m so comfortable around you that I can even make fun of you without caring what you think of me”.

Does this sound a little crazy?

Good. It should.

But trust me.

If you spend a couple of hours having regular, normal conversation… being Cocky & Funny, enjoying yourself, NOT trying to impress her, and generally demonstrating that you could care less how things turn out, you’ll be FAR more likely to take things further than if you act as if she might be the love of your life and you wind up acting so nervous, stilted, and DUMB that she runs away.

So here it is your bit of dating advice… one thing that most guys who are unsuccessful with women do that screws things up… one thing to AVOID:

DON’T TREAT A WOMAN YOU’VE JUST MET AS IF SHE’S A POTENTIAL FUTURE WIFE OR GIRLFRIEND.

Instead, lean back. Be cool. Make jokes about her screwing up her chances with you. Tell her that she’s a nice friend. Assume that she has qualities that are going to annoy you, then point them out (in a Cocky & Funny way, of course).

Don’t lose your composure. It can be fatal if you do.

Another bit of dating advice:

Most guys don’t “get” women.

And, unfortunately, most guys look for tricks and “pick up lines” when it comes time to LEARN how to meet women.

They don’t realize that all the tricks in the world aren’t going to help them if they don’t UNDERSTAND what’s “going on”.

That’s where my free dating advice newsletter comes in, along with my eBook, “Double Your Dating”…

The first portion of the book is entirely focused on your “Inner Game”. In other words, it’s focused on helping you “get” what’s going on.

This book goes into DEPTH about all aspects of psychology and behavior of men and women… and teaches you from the ground up. You must get rid of some of your bad programming before you can get GOOD programming.

You will get pages and pages of me teaching everything from the ground up on how to take things all the way from beginning to end… from the first meeting through the first date… all the way to the bedroom, and beyond.

You’ll get dating advice on how to overcome your limiting beliefs about women… how to eliminate your fears of talking to women… how to make women feel ATTRACTION for you, even if you don’t have money or looks, etc.

In other words, it’s a complete system.

You’ll learn everything you need to know in order to start meeting and dating more women IMMEDIATELY.

All the details, and some great free samples are here… check it out:

Free Dating Advice Newsletter And Download eBook
And I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David DeAngelo

Copyright 2004 David DeAngelo Communications Inc., All Rights Reserved. “David DeAngelo” and “Double Your Dating” are trademarks used by David DeAngelo Communications Inc.

By David DeAngelo

Popularity: 8% [?]

Match.com, the global leader in online dating, today launched its 15-day “workout” program to help singles simplify their search for love in 2005.

The “15-Day Love Challenge” offers fun and realistic advice and tips for taking a proactive approach to dating in the New Year, and it provides a convenient starting point for the thousands of single men and women who will log on to Match.com just after the holidays.

“We call it the New Year’s resolution phenomenon — it’s a time when single people take stock and make a conscious decision to focus on finding a successful, emotionally rewarding relationship,” said Kristin Kelly, Match.com’s Vice President of Love.

The 15-Day Love Challenge takes the insights that Match.com has gathered from 10 years of dealing with the joys and frustrations, the ups and downs of millions of single people, and turns them into action.

“While we can’t take the mystery out of love and romance, we can do our part to help millions start the New Year off right by offering them a simple, step-by-step guide to dating and finding relationships that will add depth and meaning to their lives,” Kelly added.

The complete 15-Day Love Challenge can be found on the Match.com website at www.match.com/lovechallenge. Highlights include:

Make a list, check it twice
The New Year is a time to reflect on what you really want out of 2005, including the qualities you are looking for in a mate. Make a list of your “must haves.” Now read it. If you were limited to only two choices, what would they be? The fact is that many of us artificially limit our search for love based on arbitrary criteria that change from date to date. By understanding the one or two qualities that really matter to you, and not obsessing about the rest, you’ll expand your universe of potential great dates.

Jump in with both feet
Being proactive about your dating life is essential and also the most fun. There are several ways to throw your hat into the ring, from letting friends know you are okay with being set up (if you are okay with being set up) to posting or updating your profile on Match.com.

Fate happens
Call it fate or karma or kismet; but you can meet someone anytime, anywhere — in line at the supermarket, on the train to work or having lunch with a friend. It’s important to remember that people are attracted to and feel more comfortable approaching those who are enjoying themselves. So smile, relax, even flirt a little … you never know what fate might have in store.

Practice, Practice, Practice
Practice makes perfect. And sparkling conversation makes great dates. Take time to practice your conversation skills on a co-worker or acquaintance. Instead of matching someone story for story, practice listening, asking questions and showing genuine curiosity in their answers.

Have fun — it’s dating
Dating is supposed to be a fun process. While imperfect dates may seem like torture as they are happening, they tell you more about who you are — and what you want in a match — which will bring you one step closer to finding true love.

source: Match.com

Popularity: 8% [?]