As one of the most underrated actors of his generation Robert Downey Jr was never perceived as an action hero before the first Iron Man movie. Who knows what will happen to him now that he’s launched yet another super hero franchise and in the same breath forged a new angle for his career. Marvel keeps churning them out and the Stan Lee / Hugh Hefner cameo was a classic touch for those comic book insiders like myself. Stan Lee as the creator of the most famous Marvel comic characters like Spiderman.
As Tom Leykis would put it, Robert Downey Jr has brass balls indeed. Even though towards to the end of the movie he develops a conscious like most superhero’s are supposed to have one. The playboy stereotype is played up, almost to much, as his character seduces a female journalist early on in the film. You’re soon introduced to his trusty personal assistant, played by Gwyneth Paltrow. What is clear is that Tony Stark aka Iron Man’s true identity, is a genius inventor, followed through on capitalising on his abilities and uses it mostly to purchase sport cars and bed hot babes.
His car of choice is such a blatant product placement for the new Audi R8. Being an past owner of an Audi A3 I didn’t mind very much. What makes him such a ladies man besides his money? Well it has to be his status, his public image, because he seems to have it all. After the BMW product placement in the James Bond films this is no surprise.
The rest of the film is really a nice modern day set-up for a back-stabbing rivalry between supposed mentor, and protégé. One of my favourite actors of all-time, Jeff Bridges, plays the unusual role of bad guy in this one. However, Terrence Howard, plays a real pussy i.e. not a very masculine military man. Without going into the details I’ll summarise the film like this: it’s a wet dream for most men or more specifically the boys stuck in adult bodies because of the robotics, the gadgets, the fast cars, and maybe the one hot chick early on in the film, who makes a silly comeback in the middle and toward the end.
This whole movie made me remember something Tom Leykis said once, which is that no boy grows up dreaming of driving a Toyota (or a VW). Most men grow up dreaming of a Porsche, a Ferrari or better yet a Lamborghini. This is my personal favourite because of the sexy doors that flip upward. What really sucks for me now is knowing Volkswagen owns the brand. Anyway back to the Leykis analogy with cars. No guy grows up dreaming of marrying an average girl, an average woman. Guys have wet dreams about women like Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Hayden Panettiere, or Elisha Cuthbert. You have to ask yourself how can you develop the attitude of Tony Stark without having to be a genius inventor or a billionaire. That should be the key takeaway from the Iron Man movie because it’s way to much effort to go through all of that shit just to “get the babe” in the end. Anyway here’s the trailer for the new Iron Man movie
Since I have stopped smoking it has become increasingly difficult for me to find women who smoke to be attractive. It turns me off like never before and maybe you know what I am talking about. In fact I have one friend who’s a such a stickler against smoking he beliefs it’s a character flaw and a weakness in personality. And recently I have come to buy into this idea as well. Since smoking is normally a habit, that means it’s a choice that was made at some point in your life. And in the same fashion you can choose to stop.
So let me put my cards on the table. The woman I am currently dating does smoke. So I am firm with her in that I refuse to kiss her after smoking. And recently I sent her back to the bathroom to brush her teeth because she was smoking just before bed time. On a subtle level I often ask her to try her best not to smoke for a day or two so we can hang out and have fun together. And often this has worked well for her because she gets to exercise her willpower. It’s the desire to stop smoking which in her case is not great enough. And if you want to stop maybe you need to evaluate how strong your willpower is and how great your desire to stop is.
There was a young man called Ramon
who was tired of being alone.
Imagine his stress
when a man in a dress
blew him kisses and followed him home.
How many of you have encountered a man dressed up like a woman? Aha! Fortunately it’s only happened once in my life ? so far.
A few years ago I attended the first ever speed dating event held in South Africa in Melrose Arch. I read on a website that an SABC3 was going to record the evening’s events. So I jumped at the opportunity to be on tv ? I mean after all who does not want to be on tv? Normally I don’t do skydiving or bungee jumping but doing this was a very big thrill for me.
How speed dating works is as follows:you normally have 10 guys and 10 girls. The girls sit down on tables and the guys rotate after 5 minutes so they are guaranteed to meet all the woman ? as you know this does not always happen in a bar.
Anyway I moved around on a few dates and low and behold I faced the Baroness. The camera crew swooped in to capture the moment. As I sat down and she/he extended her hand, ?Well, well, well… aren’t you a handsome fellow…? Why thank you was my quick reply. ?Tell me…Ramon…where would we go on a first date..,? was her next question. This is where I had to think really, really fast. ?Oh maybe we’d go on a picnic, so we have lots of time to talk and get to know each other.? Those 5 minutes felt like an eternity with the Baroness.
My next speed dating event was a huge improvement. Popular Johannesburg radio station 94.7 Highveld Stereo ran a special competition for Valentine’s Day 2005, which turned out to be the biggest speed dating event ever. We had over 50 people and you could smell the excitement in the air. Because of the amount of people we were split into two groups, and Fastdate, hosted the function. This lead to use being split up into two groups. Now as I entered the building going upstairs where the event was taking place. I was followed by a gorgeous girl with a big smile. She had a certain energy about her, a girly, bubbly type, which so many women over 30 seem to loose. As we reached the 2nd floor, a table full of small champagne bottles waited for us. I grabbed mine without a straw as usual. This girl, Lauren, took hers and innocently placed the straw in hers. The gas in the champagne reacted and almost like a volcano this thing erupted….”Oops! I did it again”, Was the expression on her face and she giggled her shy hello. We hit it off later on and I left the venue with a kiss and a her cellphone number tucked safely in my back pocket. So in fact I broke the rules, because I didn’t bother completing the speed dating forms, evaluating all the other women.
Recently I was out at the Mall of Rosebank and I was doing some shopping. My approach skills have been slack because in 2007 I was in two long term relationships. So I’ve been going out more often to brush up on my pickup skills. One of my strategies has always been to go to clothing stores and find a sexy girl to help me decide what clothes to purchase.
Sometimes there just isn’t any attractive women or more specifically the women who are working in the retail stores are just plain average. But if you look around you’ll find the niche locations where the hotties be found. So I was in Truworths and headed over to the cosmetic section. You’ll notice in the cosmetic section there can be either female clients or female employees. I noticed a tall, sexy girl who was dangling over the checkout counter and called her over. Another less attractive woman had approached me to help me and I sent her packing and chose the HB.I flirted with her from the get go. And I also touched her, getting her to touch me back as I sampled the new Light Blue Dolce&Gabanna. Asking her the following line, I learned from Ross Jeffries, was the clincher, “Have you ever met a guy in a place like this you thought was just fascinating?” And she responded, yes. What this question does is allows her mind to go back into her memory and begin to think of what meeting a fascinating guy feels like. I then touched her wrist to anchor that feeling to myself. This was a little judo trick to create instant attraction with a woman you’ve just met.
Now just before I left I said to her, “I’m hosting an Anti-Valentine’s day party on 14 Feb and I’d love you to join me…” next I wrote down my name and cellphone number and left it with her. I didn’t even say goodbye and just left. About 15 mins later I was still walking around other parts of Rosebank, Johannesburg, and received a call on my cell. Answer in high spirits it turned out to be this woman, from Truworths, just letting me know this is her number and that I should have an awesome day.
So in summary what I did was I linked the feeling of fascination in her mind to me, and I then proceed to ask her out to join me at a party. We’ve spoken since and she’s keen to meet before the Anti-Valentine’s Day party. The key thing to remember about asking woman out is NOT to drag it out. Forget getting her phone number and calling later. Suggest meeting immediately (going for a drink) or later the same day and leave your cellphone number with her. You cut to the chase when she calls because its undeniable interest. We’re all very, very busy these days so there’s no time to waste and drag out the dating process.
According to Tom women want to have a guy around during major holidays like Christmas, New Year, Valentine’s Day or birthdays. Even if you’ve been with a booty call for a while this is the time to dump her and move on. He says further, “You’ll save yourself the money that would have been spent buying her a present, and there’s a lot of lonely chicks out there who want to be with somebody–anybody. Women want to feel feel validated on the holidays, so they go out on a hunt to find the sucker to buy her presents. Your appeal will be much higher as a man during these times. Sticking around with a girl during these times plants long-term thoughts in her head. You don’t want that for a booty call.”
I thought I was over her… but thoughts of her come back to haunt me…and it seems it affects me when I try and get something new going with other women… and I’m there but I’m not there… you know what I mean?
What would be a sure fire hit of getting over the ex?
My response: You believe the lie most people do - that you are empty or incomplete without being in a relationship. There is no short answer to this question but here’s some immediate steps to take immediately after a break-up with your girlfriend:
My favourite radio jock, Tom Leykis, featured a story “Better with Age” originally published in the New York Post. This is a fascinating overview of views espoused by Leykis. I am 100% in agreement with this based on my own experiences.
Here’s the deal. I’m currently 32, and before I reached 30 I dated a few women over 30. There were good relationships in most cases. However, there has been many women I’ve met in their 30s and they are either obsessed with their careers or bitter about past relationships. I avoid both of these kinds of women like the plague these days. We’re all very busy people and when I’m looking for love, I do not want to compete for a woman’s attention. You will also notice how these career women exhibit masculine traits, which in fact is what helped them achieve their success in their careers.
Anyway my policy for the last 3 years has been, and will continue indefinitely into the future, not to date women over 30. There is absolutely no reason to date women your own age. The scientists in the above mentioned story cite various benefits for men. Here’s an extract:
“Scientifically speaking, once people can no longer reproduce, they cease to have a biological purpose. For women, the “wall of death” age, as evolutionary theorists so cheerfully call it, is about 50. But men - and here’s where the testosterone kicks in - can reproduce into their late 70s, so long as they have good genes and, well, good equipment.
So, when an older man mates with a young woman, he’s essentially postponing death. And his long-life genes - you know he’s got them if he can have kids at that age - get passed on to his children.”
One of my favourite scientists, Dr Helen Fisher, anthropologist and author of Why We Love says, “Women are choosing the men they want to marry - they aren’t being selected.” What she means is that these younger women understand the benefits of older men. So remember that your value as a man just keeps going up over time.
Some of the benefits my younger girlfriends experienced dating me because I have spent so much time educating myself on dating and relationships:
Before you can even begin to think about how to improve your dating, relationships and social life I ask you answer the following question as truthfully as you can:
On a scale from 1 to 10…how much do you like or love yourself?
If this number is less than 5 we have a serious problem. I mean, think about it, if you don’t like yourself, how can you expect someone else to like you? One of the biggest myths in relationships is that when I find a new girlfriend, boyfriend, a partner or soul mate they will complete me.
I suggest you consider the following concept: how much other people like or love you is directly proportional to how much you like or love yourself. And if you can imagine being a cup that overflows with love, than you have more to share with other people. If you are empty inside and you don’t enjoy your life, you do not have much to share. In fact you will be in ?wanting mode? because you do not understand how by giving you can receive pleasure. And ultimately your vitality in life is also directly proportional to your vision, which links back to your experience.
Have you ever wondered why most people are just talking about work? It’s simply because they do not make time for anything else. I promise you that nobody when they are growing up dreams of work, work and more work. You may dream of meeting interesting people, travelling the world, or achieving different kinds of personal successes. There is a common misconception that we are searching for meaning in our lives. The great philosopher, Joseph Campbell, the expert on myth, said, meaning is an intellectual construct, it’s in our heads. Instead what we are truly seeking is the feeling of being alive.
This is one of the fundamental reasons there has been such a dramatic rise in the drug abuse culture alongside the rise of television. Television must be the worst invention in the history of humankind when it comes to what makes people feel lonely. You see it entertains you and at the same time it programs you into complacency. And this is very, very real indeed. I highly recommend you read the articles on the Steve Pavlina’s blog about Giving Up TV.
Now I’ve met some people who swear that they are happy being single. They often insist that they are not looking and they are not desperate. And I’ve noticed a slight frustration in their voices or their body language. They are not convincing to me. You see there’s absolutely nothing wrong when it comes to looking for love. Imagine if you lost your job or quit your job…how long would it take for you to start looking for a new one? Almost immediately and you would speak to whomever it takes to help you find a job. You would be open to it. And so I encourage you to open to a increased social life. The reason is simple. Scientist have found that the people who most frequently refer us to new jobs or introduce us to potential dating partners or spouses, is NOT our best friends or family. As it turns out it’s weak social connections or as they are more commonly known, our acquaintances. So the theory goes, the larger the number of weak social connections you have, the more your increase your chances of social interaction that leads you to finding and meeting the kind of people you ideally want to meet. This goes hand-in-hand with increased confidence in social scenarios.
You see the single life is really not the ideal life style. It stinks of loneliness and desperation. I refuse to tell people I’m single. Instead I refer to myself as simple unmarried. And yes, I’m still looking for love.
The Professor of Poon, Tom Leykis, brought this article to my attention from a recent show. The author of the article starts out by saying how the deal was sealed when she went on a date and at the end of the dinner, her future husband, didn’t hesitate to pay for the dinner. The author even calls herself a hypocrite because she is a feminist and she is still getting her way with her man. Isn’t feminism supposed to be about equality? Without rehashing the whole story I would like to point how you can indeed get away without paying for the first date.
Try some of the following suggestions if you don’t want to pay for the 1st “date”…
Don’t call it a date - just hang out
Invite women over to your house to enjoy a bottle of wine
Meet them at the flea market and go looking for a hard to find gift
Meet them at a park/lake/beach and go for a walk
Take them to the opening of an art gallery (usually free with champagne/snacks)
You can get more ideas for cheap dates here. Let me elaborate further. Paying has nothing to do with getting laid. And all women know guys are just trying to get laid. In fact it’s in our evolutionary biology that we cannot fall in love with a women, want friendship/companionship or bonding unless we are physically attracted to you - and that also means - want to have sex with you. An old friend of mine always says women give men sex in exchange for love; and men give women love in exchange for sex. Sometimes reality is harsh but it’s still reality.
Tom Leykis, one of my favourite radio DJs, whom I listen to online, brought this story from Hitched Mag to my attention. Now it originally reads 20 Dates For Under $20 but since I live in South Africa I’ve adapted it to a realistic R100. Just by the way I highly recommend the movie 20 Dates for how NOT to go about dating women.
Find the best happy hour in town: Look through your local newspaper or search online for websites that list happy hour prices for local restaurants and bars. Most places offer food and drink specials at half the normal price, allowing you to get two drinks and share an appetizer for less than R100.
Go to a museum: Most museums are free or offer free entry on certain days of the month. I also highly recommend art galleries.
Visit your local zoo: Most zoos offer adult tickets for less than R50. Pack your own snacks and bottled water and have a mini picnic by your favourite exhibit. Joburg Zoo offers annual passes for R220.
Go on a romantic hike: Bring a backpack and surprise your partner with your favourite bottle of cheap champagne, strawberries and plastic champagne flutes. The Suikerbosrand Nature Reserve, south of Johannesburg entrance fee is only R20 per person.
Go swimming at your local pool, lake or the beach: Bring some water toys and have more fun than the kids. This is a great suggestion because so few people seem to go to swimming pools any more.
Beat the heat with an ice cream date: Take two scoops to the park or take a walk downtown and go people watching.
Get an Edgars Card to Pay Half Price @ Movies: South Africa doesn’t have a lot of choice in cinemas unlike America. Pick a rainy day and have a movie marathon.
Take a downtown walking tour of your town or nearest city: You?ll have fun discovering things and places you never knew existed. You can also pick up a free visitors guide for ideas. I once took an ex-girlfriend from Cape Town to Hillbrow at 2am to get some Nandos.
Throw a cheap picnic: Go on a picnic at the beach, mountains or in your own back yard. Grab a blanket, pack a deli sandwich and a bottle of R20 wine (Douglas Green St Clare, St Anna, St Vincent or St Morand).
Take a blanket to the beach: Split your budget between a bottle of wine and cheese then enjoy the sunset while you snuggle on the blanket.
Take a stroll through the botanical gardens: Spend the day walking through rose gardens and tropical rain forests hand in hand for less than R100 a ticket. Joburg Botanical Gardens by Emmerentia Dam is free and I’ve been there many times. Start from the bottom of the Rose garden and walk up, stop after each section, sit down, enjoy the view and kiss your girlfriend. Also try National Zoological Garden in Pretoria and Kirstenbosch in Cape Town.
Be a kid again: Go bowling, play miniature golf (putt putt), ride go-carts or play laser tag.
Build a bonfire: All you need is some firewood, snacks and a drink of your choice. This is also a great opportunity for roasted marshmallows.
Rent something: Go roller- or ice-skating, or rent a two-seater bike and ride through the park. Cape Town ice rink here and in Joburg go to Northgate.
Paint pottery together: Lots of studios let you get creative for around R25 an hour. Go here for ceramic, pottery and fabric painting information.
Pitch a tent: Park fees are usually between R30-R60, which leaves money for food and wood. Go camping and roast hot dogs as you gaze at the stars.
Go wine tasting: Many wineries charge around R15-R30 for a tasting?plus, you?ll get to keep the glass as a souvenir of your date.
Take a scenic drive: Pull over to have coffee and dessert at a nice caf?. In Johannesburg and Cape Town there are several locations with stunning views of the city below. You can find them on your own or just email me for the directions.
Spend the night walking through the shops and enjoying the local artists: Lots of cities have art walks one night a month during the summer. Most galleries even offer a free glass of wine to art-walk goers in order to attract them.
Rack ?em up at you local pool joint: With pool games costing R2 at certain venues, you might even have money left over to share a pitcher of beer.
As one of the most underrated actors of his generation Robert Downey Jr was never perceived as an action hero before the first Iron Man movie. Who knows what will happen to him now that he’s launched yet another super hero franchise and in the same breath forged a new angle for his career. Marvel keeps churning them out and the Stan Lee / Hugh Hefner cameo was a classic touch for those comic book insiders like myself. Stan Lee as the creator of the most famous Marvel comic characters like Spiderman.
His car of choice is such a blatant product placement for the new Audi R8. Being an past owner of an Audi A3 I didn’t mind very much. What makes him such a ladies man besides his money? Well it has to be his status, his public image, because he seems to have it all. After the BMW product placement in the James Bond films this is no surprise.
Sometimes there just isn’t any attractive women or more specifically the women who are working in the retail stores are just plain average. But if you look around you’ll find the niche locations where the hotties be found. So I was in 
My favourite radio jock, 
