So here’s a short video clip of him followed by some great advice about not limiting your conversation to talking to women but also talking to men.
If you’re limiting your interactions to women only, you’re missing the boat. Whether you need
a new wingman or just want to look social, talking to men is essential. Some of the greatest
contacts I’ve made and the greatest experiences I’ve had are due to speaking to other men.I truly believe that you’re only one interaction away from everything you want. The problem is that you don’t know which interaction it will be. I proved this theory most recently when I was
waiting for a client at the bar. An older gentleman came up to order a drink and the conversation went like this:
Me: How’s everything?
Him: Everything’s great. You?
Me: I’m awesome. Just waiting for a friend. Where are you from?
Him: Boston. You?
Me: Here. What’s on the agenda tonight?
Him: I’m going to the Maxim Magazine party with a bunch of models and celebrities…would you like to join us?
Welcome to my life. I have hundreds of stories like the above and it’s one of the reasons that
my life is like an adventure every day. I never know what’s going to happen.
Body: Hey (name), I know it’s a little weird getting an email from another guy, but I’m seeking
male friends who share my passion for women. As you can see from my page, I’m building a great social life. Maybe we’ll hang out sometime, talk to women, have a few laughs and drinks. Give me a shout back if you’re interested.
Cheers,
John
P.s. If you’re not great with women, that’s cool too. I can help point you in the right direction.
Neil Strauss is a Los Angeles-based author and journalist who writes for The New York Times and Rolling Stone, where he is a contributing editor. He is well-known for his best-selling book The Game. Here’s an excellent interview with him on a American day time talk show The View from back in 2005. Very interesting is that his girlfriend Lisa Leveridge is in the audience and the talk show hosts actually asks her some questions which she answers with a lot of confidence given the situation…
Mystery aka Erik Von Markovik, is a pioneer of the seduction community, and a main character in the non-fiction book The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists, by Neil Strauss. Mystery has been a prolific contributor to the online forums and published several books mostly in ebook format. After the release of Neil Strauss’ book he has entered into more of a mainstream persona. So I found this short interview on the Conan O’Brien show. Mystery is not able to get into any specifics but demonstrates one of his chief strategies; that of peacocking. Peacocking is when you - the man - wears something unusual that draws a women’s attention and allows her to come up to you and comment on it. I for example have a very unusual ring that a friend bought when the Dalai Lama came to South Africa a few years ago. It has a whole story that goes with it because of the Buddhist mantra written in Sanskrit. For more on Mystery please take a moment to visit his Mystery Method website and review his book, audio and DVD products.
You remember it. The piece of paper your teacher handed you that said something like, “We’re going on a field trip next Friday.”
Then, you were told that all you needed to do was take it home, get your parent’s signature and you could go; you crossed your fingers hoping not to hear the word “No”.
Then, there were the notes your parents had to write when you missed school for some reason such as being sick or being out of town. It was called
an “Excuse”.
For obvious reasons, the above are good procedures when you’re a child. But, it doesn’t stop there.
When you’re an adult it’s,
“I need to ask my girlfriend/wife if I can go out with you guys”.
And, hoping she doesn’t say no.
Then there’s the ever popular “Doctor’s note” in order to cancel your flight, miss work or cut class.
So when it comes to being successful with women, you’re still asking someone for permission, afraid of hearing, “No” and then making excuses.
Who are you asking?
Certainly, you’re asking women. But more importantly, you’re asking yourself, your sub-conscious, your inner voice or whatever you want to call it. Stop asking yourself for permission to be successful with women.
You all have a universal permission slip that you can use any time you want. The problem is that even though you might fill it out, you’re still waiting for someone else to sign it. You’re adults now and can sign it any time you want.
So here’s what I want you to do:
Take out a piece of paper and write the words “Permission Slip” at the top. Then fill it out with all the things you want.
***Now, here’s the important part***
SIGN IT YOURSELF.
You now have permission; you’re hearing “Yes” and you have no more excuses. Let me know what happens!
Coaching (1-on-1) If you want to live this life right now you can start by signing up for my coaching program. Whether you start on the phone or in person, start now!
I know it’s hard to say what you really think. This is because everything we say first goes through our logical filter which screens out what is smart to say, or not smart to say. Usually that filter develops in puberty and is created by societal pressure. You must learn to think for yourself and override this filter. If you observe confident people, you will notice that they are very direct and demanding, which radiates power to others. They think for themselves and ask for exactly what they want. You need to do the same; especially with women.
When it comes to girls, it’s much better to to honestly say what you think and intend rather than play games and send mixed signals. Lying develops mistrust and drama and usually ends badly.
Once there’s mistrust, girls are always trying to figure out whether you are lying to them. It’s normal for them to ask you where you’ve been and constantly check for proof. Like a police detective, her mind will work and investigate all possible scenarios. She will ask why you stayed longer at the office, why you called your female colleague, why you look tired. They analyse your answers, search your pockets and read messages in your mobile phone when you’re are not around. It is difficult to hide anything from them. So you can go one of two ways: scramble to come up with explanations for every situation or just be honest.
Both ways work – but lying only works until you get caught. Unless you are a very imaginative and lucky guy, the honest way is easier and is not likely to hurt anyone. When you are promising monogamy but not practising it, things get very difficult once you are caught with another woman. It won’t go away without big drama and usually will finish the relationship. If you promise she’s your only one and then begin acting suspiciously, she will look for proof of your disloyalty, making your life hell. And when she gets some, you are in trouble.
Just be honest. Do not make her believe that she is the only one if she is not. Tell her that you are seeing other girls if she asks. You will be surprised by how she reacts. If she likes being with you and you haven’t falsely led her to believe differently, she will rarely cut off the relationship Her logical brain can’t find a reason to leave you or make too much drama because she still wants to spend time with you and you haven’t done anything deceitful. You are simply a high status male who enjoys the company of women, her being one of them in her own special way, and you make no apologies for it. She will respect you for this. And you can feel better for not living a dishonest life.
If you aren’t having multiple relationships with women of high quality and want to change this area of your life, learn more about Direct Game from the best at a BadBoy Seduction Workshop. We teach you all the skills you will need from the Approach through Relationship Management to get the results you dream about.
Happiness is inside YOU, not in other people… or stuff that you need to buy. That is exactly society wants you to think; to look outside yourself to others or things you need to buy for your happiness. But this can only bring temporary happiness. Most girls out there are unhappy with their lives and they search for a man to make them happy. Actually they search for a happy man, to jump into his life, and enjoy his life. That is why you must focus on yourself first, before you bring someone else in your life.
2) If You Don’t Change You Will Stay Where You Are
This is simple. Same actions get same results. If you are not happy with what you are getting from life, it’s time to change. Try anything, but don’t stay where you are because it will lead you exactly to where you are now. Moving in a new direction will lead to new results.
3) What Would You Do If There Was No Fear?
Can you imagine how your life would be if there were absolutely no fear in it? Ask yourself, what would you do, how would you behave? Then start doing those things, little by little, to decondition yourself from fear and reprogram yourself to do the things you really want to do. When you beat your fear, you will be FREE.
4) The Sooner You Forget Your Old Girlfriend, The Sooner You Will Find a New One
Most guys, after they break up with a girl, they think about her for months. It’s normal after long term relationships to have emotions for that girl, but the sooner you forget about her, the sooner you will find a new girl. Be aware that an end is a new beginning. It’s smart to always have a backup girl in your life, so when you break up with one girl, you can jump to the other one. That is the reason why you should always stay social and go out, no matter how hot and pefect your girl is. There is always a chance you will break up.
5) Don ’t Wait For Girls To Come To You
You should always be pro-active. It’s a very bad idea to stay home and think, “Its just going to happen.” That’s how girls think, because they generally play a more passive role in society. It’s written in your genes that we are the stronger sex, the hunters, the ones that make thing happen. That’s how it’s been for million of years. Don’t betray your genes and evolution.
6) If You Think You Can Get The Girl, You Can
It’s very important to stay focused on positivity and be sure that for every action you do, sooner or later you will be rewarded. Avoid negative thoughts, girls can feel it, and as soon they smell you are a “bad thinker” they will avoid you.
7) Go For Your Dreams
Never abandon your dreams. They will keep you motivated. There is nothing on this planet that can stop you from making your dreams come true, except you. There is nothing more important than your dreams. Life is too short to not make yourself happy.
Start Chasing Girls And ENJOY It
Soon you will realize that the chase is so much fun it is often times better than the actual sex is. In the long run, girls like sex more than guys do. We get bored with one girl pretty quickly and our genes motivate us to a find a new girl, to spread our semen. While girls are programmed to find that ’special one’ and raise kids with him. So enjoy the chase, enjoy going out, and have fun doing it. It’s a natural instinct for us.
9) Life Is Constant Change
Those who cannot adapt themselves to new environments will die. To be really successful in life and with women, you must use everything life gives you. All your good and bad qualities. You must use all disadvantages to your advantage. Loud music, dark clubs, your hobbies… everything! It’s a skill to learn to use everything to your advantage. It’s different way of thinking than you are p robably used to but always ask yourself, “What can I do with this?” and, “How can I use this in my favour?”
10) The More You Worry About Getting Girls, The Less Success You Will Have
Neediness is a big turn off for everybody. When you want something too much, it lowers your value as a person. It means something is more important then you are. So the key is: know what you want on the inside, but be cool, like you don’t care too much on the outside or that it will come easily to you. The less you appear to care and the easier things seem for you, the better results you will get.
11) Every Girl Is A Potential Girlfriend, Whether You Realize It Or Not
Everything is an opportunity. The girl walking down the street, two girls in a coffeeshop talking, the girl next door . If you take what life gives you and make the absolute most of it, you will find a lot of opportunities that you never thought were possible. A new girl will come to you as a gift if you enjoy it as a challenge, make the move and beat your fear.
12) Fear of Change Will Prevent You From Changing
People are afraid of change. Most of them are zombies, and they don’t want to change because of a fear of the unknown. And of course if you don’t change you will get what you’ve always got. You must SEE the advantage of changing yourself and take ACTION immediately, even if it is uncomfortable.
There are a lot of young men who find it difficult to go out and meet new girls on days when they have a quarrel with their parents. There are also a lot of older men who can go out easily and have success. Why is that so?
The behaviour taught from father to son carries in a son’s mind his whole life. Many of our ideas and beliefs our parents put into us are essential for life. For example our parents teach us how to cross the street or they taught us how to read. Without good parental guidance we would not survive as children, they wish us best all the time.
But unconsciously they may install a big feeling of inadequacy in a young boys mind that will give him problems all his life.
Have you ever had your mother tell you: “Your shirt is soo dirty,you cannot go out like that!?”
After a million such remarks you will feel accustomed to feeling bad about yourself if you don’t have a clean, nice shirt. No joking!
It may sound funny but think about it, it happens to all of us. Those kind of remarks seem totally unimportant now that you are living far away from your parents, thousands of miles away and you see them only during holidays.
But when you are not wearing your best clothes and you meet a girl you feel attracted to, the internal program put into your mind by your family when you were still a little child and couldn’t resist your parents advice will start working, it will start working soo much that you will feel bad about yourself and you will not be able to do your best and get the girl attracted to you.
So it may happen that even though you are much older, your mothers remarks are having an impact now on your confidence.
Do a little experiment to see are you under influence of what I call society programing.
Remember how your parents always taught you that you have to pay attention when eating biscuits so pieces don’t end up on the floor. I want you to take a few biscuits in your hands and sit on your couch, then I want you to start twisting them slightly in your palms so little peaces start falling to the floor. Are you feeling pressure in your head?
Are you feeling uncomfortable?
Maybe still no.
When you are in a company of other people I want you to do the same thing. Are you feeling huge pressure build up “in the air”.
That means you are now under influence of manners that were put in your mind when you were young.
Can you see how strong influence they have on you when you just do a silly task of basically doing absolutely nothing important?
On that simple example it is easy to illustrate how we are controlled by forces that we can not influence.
Imagine you’ve just met a girl you fancy and you are dressed in old and worn out clothes, but in your packet you have the most modern cell phone that looks like it just came from an episode of Star Wars. Adds are that you will take it out to show her that you have some expensive material possession, to impress her. Actually it will be really hard to resist the drive to take your cell phone out, or your new Italian sunglasses to impress the woman.
I have discovered that over whelming majority of men stay in that pattern their whole life, always looking for something else that will impress the women more but never actually making a move on her and approaching her and finally not being a coward.
The society program is so strong that it is hard to sense it when you are close to a beautiful woman so I suggest that you start small and buy some biscuits!
It may look like an insignificant step but believe me it is a small step for humankind but a huge leap for you. I am one of the founders of a company Fidentia that helps men get confidence for approaching women and on our workshops we go out and our students meet women by themselves. We’ve manage to develop hundreds of exercises to help you control your internal state and to make it easy and natural to talk to an unknown women as you would talk to your best friend.
One of the basic building blocks of our approach to teaching is that the students gets comfortable being in their own skin, that he gets comfortable being who he is and not because he has a nice body or a new watch.
That is why our students have a huge advantage over any competition. While the average man works 9 to 5 and then afterwards he sees a new woman he could approach. His mind tells him that he is out of shape and that he will get toned for summer, that means in just 6 months.
Our student works from 9 to 5 also but when he sees a dazzling woman he approaches her and she is very attracted to his unusual confidence, and now he has a girl fiend while the other guy is dreaming of buying a new car stereo.
So I advise you to start with the biscuits and to get comfortable in your own skin even if you are wearing something totally out of date.
Then when you go out on Saturday night and drees your best you will know that your looks and posses ion are just your secondary means, but for other guys they are the only thing they have. You can email us and tell us how your mission is going , contact Ranko at http://www.attractanddate.com and I will guide you through it.
Let’s talk a little bit about body language and how it relates to your attitude and confidence. We all know that people communicate with each other on multiple levels. But did you know that spoken words are just 7% of what we communicate? The majority of communication is done with vocal tones, vocal pitch, movement, body language and gestures.All of these things and more make up our composite body language expressions, such as: Facial expressions, voice intonation, speed of speech, how you walk, the way you carry yourself through the world, having eye contact, how fast you move, and even our breathing.
You may ask why body language is so important. It is how we sub-communicate with others. This sub-communication is even more important that ever before, because society has created a link between our actions and how people feel. For example, when you are in room and you feel really nervous, everyone in the room will pick up that you are nervous by your actions, tonality, and speed of your movements.
Such things are very obvious, especially to children who are not preoccupied with speech as much as many adults. You can see when somebody is sad, happy, excited, honest, or angry. Look at somebody who rapidly moves his foot up and down. This guy probably can’t look anybody in the eyes and is sub-communicating that he is insecure. Somebody who is hunched over, with her feet together, is subconsciously trying to not be noticed at all.
We can find wealth of information about other people by their body language. In terms of seduction, we learn to read what females are saying on a deeper level. An outgoing woman will do the exact same to you; she could tell you a zillion things that you are projecting, just by your image.
Let me quote my girlfriend here: “I can see if a guy is GOOD IN BED, just by the way he walks.” That is so true. They can tell everything about you, just by the way you look. It comes from all those years of experience of guys hitting on them.
If you go out dressed like you do not care about your image at all, you probably don’t care, and women will notice this. On the other hand, if you go out dressed as a socially cool guy, you probably are a pretty damn smooth dude. As for the woman, this process of screening by looks and body language is a self-defence mechanism.
She really doesn’t want to hook up with some low self-esteem loser, or some boring guy who doesn’t know how to give her some fun in her life. So they screen you and try to find out as many things about you as possible in a very short period of time.
Imagine, if you were a HOT GIRL, would you give 30 minutes of your time to each boring geek that hit on you?? No, you would give him 30 seconds and then the “F#*& off” line.
This is because she already knows that he is a boring, lame-ass guy. But what if some super-ultra confident guy, who is well dressed, comes into a room, walks slowly towards a hot girl with a smile on his face, and starts a conversation with a girl? Would she reject him??
Exactly.
She would not.
Now let me ask you who the really confident in our society are, the ones with an attitude larger then life. Who are they?? Rock stars, company directors, successful managers, doctors, politicians…. etc.
Take a look at how they walk, how they sit, how they speak, and you’ll notice something really interesting. They are totally calm, like they control TIME. They are not in hurry. The way they move and how they speak completely radiates with super-confidence.
Lets take a look at what the most common mistakes are when somebody tries to pick up a girl:
Talking too fast (being nervous)
Talking too much (trying to impress her)
Not knowing what to say next (not enough practice)
Drinking (to become comfortable)
Asking too many questions (you create rapport too soon, but she doesn’t want your rapport unless you have attracted her first)
Body language wrong (hands connected, feet too close, shoulders down, leaning in)
Buying her drinks (trying to buy her over, or even worse, trying to get her drunk)
Not being comfortable talking with strangers (social anxiety)
Does any of this radiate with any confidence??? Hell no!! Take a look and see that every action here projects INSECURITY!!
Ok, let’s correct this poor body language together. Here is list of things that you must FIX…
Keep your hands out of your pockets.
Stand with you feet wider apart.
Never look down when you walk, look above the horizon
Stand with your chest pushed outwards
Keep your shoulders relaxed and back
Walk confidently and slowly with bigger steps
Take up lots of space, no matter where you are
Pay attention to how you dress
Always lean back.
Touch people when you talk with them (non-sexual), because you must create conversation on all levels, not just verbal. (Later she is going to be used to your touch, and that is perfect for the pre-sex stage!)
All your body language should be comparable in speed. For instance, moving with confidence is good, but it looks incongruent if you talk fast at the same time.
One more really important thing my friend would tell you, “Pick-Up doesn’t start when you approach her, it starts when you WAKE UP in morning!” and that’s so true!
Let’s move on to the subject of attraction:
In order to attract a woman, you must first understand why and how they think. Why the state of attraction exists, and how it happens.
The easiest way to understand and explain this is through something known as ‘Switches theory’. You know those on/off switches you have in your house for electricity? Now imagine you have 15 of them in one box. That’s an analogy for how our minds work. Women have switches such as “Is he attractive? Is he good at sex?” On or off.
Every girl out there has a different set of switches, because it really depends on their culture, their childhood, their beliefs and their age, plus a few other minor things. However, there are some common switches you must turn ON to all girls out there.
You must be:
–Challenging
–Alpha
–Interesting
–Unpredictable
–Stylish
–Not needy
–A good lover
–Humorous
–Capable of building strong rapport
–Secure
–Trustworthy
–Conversational
Now, those switches can be either ON or OFF. There is no value in-between… for geeks, it’s all off.
What happens when you switch on most of those switches?? Wow… she starts to be interested in you… actually… she starts to show IOIs (indication of interest). This reaction is totally normal. When she meets a guy who is funny, good looking, interesting, romantic, and not needy, she becomes interested in getting to know him better (read: sleeping with him).
Switching on these switches is what demonstrates personality to a woman. You can tell stories where you were romantic. You can hook her with interesting snippets of your life and make her ask you questions which will get you to reveal your romantic side. It doesn’t matter, as long as you flip the romantic switch to the ON position. Every story or routine you have in your arsenal is saying something to her (flipping switches.) When designing routines and stories, you need to first take a look at what you want to convey to her.
The easiest way to switch ON lot of switches is through good body language, behaviour, and a sense of style.
Let’s take a look at me for example. If you’ve never seen the way I look, take a look at my web page photo here…
Okay, let’s analyse this together… what do you think about this guy just from this photo? Here is what others have said:
He has a lot of confidence
He looks like some badboy or a really adventurous guy
Good looking (average)
He is drinking expensive cocktails, so he probably has some money…
Sex must be amazing with him
He is alpha; he doesn’t worry what others think.
He doesn’t look like some predictable guy…
Not so needy
Ok, guys, you get my point… I switched ON like 10 switches just by the way I look and behave. There are also switches I haven’t flipped yet:I don’t have trust, rapport, I am not romantic, interesting… and that’s it fellas!!!!That means 5 stories for 5 more switches. That’s like 5 X 5 minutes = 25 minutes to get a girl.Of course you can convey all those things through conversation, and that’s fine. But it will take 10X longer! This is the way it works for me, and I am happy.
A few of you have asked me to write more on threesomes. There are some typical patterns that happen in the preparation, so I’ll share how I prepared a lady for a threesome. Many of the principles for this can be found in David Shade’s Manual. BerlinGirl is one of my two MLTRs. I love her: she’s smart, rotzfrech, funny, HSE, HSD, and attractive (175cm, long blonde hair, hard body, cute but not model-like - maybe a 8.5 looks-wise).
In the beginning, she was hesitant to the idea of threesomes - like most women are, when you first bring up the topic. They have to be, as it goes against many social standards: Won’t he get jealous? Isn’t this weird? And, most important of all, won’t I look like a cheap street slut from Panama City?
A good way to start is by sharing some fantasies; this is what David Shade proposes as well. Give her one innocent and one spicey threesome erotic story to read. Give her some time to masturbate to them, while you’re away. This establishes the base, but from my experience, it won’t suddenly make her like the idea.
I like to pedal back and continue with something lighter then. I’ll make a game out of sharing erotic fantasies: She tells one, I tell one a couple of days later. They need the feeling that it’s okay and safe to talk about them, that you won’t burst out laughing, disrespect her in any way for these fantasies, or run off and tell them to her neighbor. Then you’ll be amazed about what they come up with.
So my fantasy was: “I want to see you kiss a girl.” That’s harmless, right? I’ve found this is a good way to start things. And indeed, she heard it, was hesitant, we fucked, and in the afterglow, she admitted she had already kissed her best friend in high school. I think most women have had similar experiences.
To make it even safer, I said: “But I don’t want you to kiss a friend of you. I would get jealeous! I want you to kiss a stranger, a set of disposable lips.”
BerlinGirl was very interested in this. She loved the idea of me selecting a lady for her to kiss.
A day later, we went to a sex shop together, and rented some porn DVDs. Some porn, some glory, for the ladies! Did you ever see a porn movie without female-female scenes? Ha! And believe me, nothing will install the idea of a threesome more effectively than when you fuck her doggy-style while she watches a scene where a man fucks a lady doggy-style and the lady licks another lady!
One of the next nights, we went out to a club, sat down on a cosy sofa, and watched the ladies walking by. We would share what we liked about them and what not. This made her feel that the experience bonded us closer together. When we both agreed that a girl was worthy of the kiss, I would approach her, run normal game, and invite her to sit down with us. We talked about bi-curiousness, BerlinGirl was touching her all over, and at one point, they simply kissed. It was beautiful.
It would have been easy to go further, but after ten minutes, we let the interaction slow down and BerlinGirl and I moved to the bar. That was the first real threesome! And BerlinGirl loved it.
She was now convinced that a threesome would bring us closer together, that she would enjoy it, and that it would be a very normal next step.
The actual act was reduced to going out, finding a lady, bringing her back home, and fucking until exhaustion. I have already talked about that elsewhere, so I’ll direct you to the blogroll for your pornographic joy.
Mystery aka Erik Von Markovik, is a pioneer of the seduction community, and a main character in the non-fiction book 
You remember it. The piece of paper your teacher handed you that said something like, “We’re going on a field trip next Friday.”
Start Chasing Girls And ENJOY It
