Entries Tagged 'Society' ↓

Well I’m not a parent but one day I do would like the oppertunity very much to be a great dad and nurture and encourage my children. Well I got this great article recommended in a newsletter I subscribe to. The title is just so cool for a movie buff like myself, How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Trust the Teenager.

Popularity: 5% [?]

Last Thursday I was invited to a LG launch for a cool new cellphone at the Fashion Cafe in Sandton City, close to the back of the MichelAngelo. Now I’ve always heard about this joint but never been there before. Its a damn classy joint. And the women are awesome. The music is great and its not a big joint. Its about the same size as Moloko in Rosebank.

I went with my friend, Leonora, a 35 year old with a lot of spunk. She’s an awesome pivot in these kinds of situations. The weather is really cold as you know and this doesn’t really make it too enjoyable when going out.

Anyway there was some really attractive women that I spotted and I waited patiently. Warming up with conversation with my friend. Teasing her and busting on her to prepare myself for the assault on the HB’s at the venue.

Claudia Henkel arrived with no real fan faire. She had another tall blonde friend. At the bar I saw them popping their heads left, right and no guys coming up and talking to them. About 10m later I went up to introduce myself. I left them and went back to what I was doing. A few other things happened and I was having a great time talking to other women and just watching things unfold.

One photographer had taken a photo of me and my friend Leo. And another one came up to me later asking if I wanted more photos taken. So I said only if I could find Claudia. Well I couldn’t find her immediately. And that’s not difficult to realise because she is (wearing high heels) slightly taller than my 1.85m! I found some other girls and just got them to surround me….social proof gentlemen…! One complained that she hopes her boyfriend doesn’t see this photo. Who gives a sh*t if he is not there.

I walked away…saw Claudia. Went up to her friend, Jessica, and told her they must take a photo with me. They came together and I suppose wanted me to stand to the side of one of them. Very quickly I ducked under their arms and positioned myself in the middle. I put my arms around them both, Jessica or whatever her name was on the left and Claudia on the right. This was damn intimidating but I didn’t flinch!!

Claudia actually came in closer and leaned in with her face right against mine. This was just terrific and the photographer got two shots. My PA, who got me invited is organising the photos as we speak. So I’ll be posting them shortly on my BLOG

update - I never received those photos from Tracy who was co-ordinating the event on behalf of LG. I have since met Claudia twice and it’s only a matter of time before we bump into each other once again.

Popularity: 14% [?]

My friend Mandi, 31 from Pretoria wrote back with this lengthy response to my Girlfriend Marketing Plan.

My comments in Red

My remarks are not intended to start a battle of the sexes, but it might be good for you to just ponder on it a bit:

I fall into the category of “older” women so this is really from our point of view and not a bitter Women’s Lib ranting. In my experience when an older guy looks for a younger woman, it might be that he cannot handle the independence and maturity of a woman his own age or older and wants someone he can mould into the shape/person he feels comfortable with. I am not saying that it is necessarily the case with you, but bear in mind that many women are going to view your plan and I am giving you the low and lower of what may emanate.

I’ve dated several older women. And maybe I couldn’t handle them at the time but I don’t put up with bullshit, hang-ups about sex and insecurities.

This is the perception of all women I know my age and even younger. And from experience I know perception can kill many good intentions and make people lose out on many golden opportunities. Most people I know carries emotional baggage, having been burned from past relationships, regardless of age. I have quite a number of younger friends (male and female), ages ranging from 21-27 and are currently forming a good friendship (with a healthy dose of chemistry) with a guy 9 years my junior. Without being patronizing, I can tell you very honestly ALL of them have got a few hang-ups in the relationship department, things that I have come to identify as the small things that won’t matter later on in life but something that only experience and time will teach them. This just makes so much sense to me because I believe if a relationship is going to be exiting, there must be a spark so there’s bound to be fire eventually. But since it’s human nature, sometimes you get too close and you will get burned. Why should this be viewed as a negative?

Most people have baggage but very few deal with them and even less are honest about them.

Why do people fear it so much? This is what we are all about! Experiencing life - the good and the bad, the best and the worst, the pretty and the ugly, the highs and the lows - embrace it and take lessons from that. In this way older women are therefore more experienced which undeniably will make them more guarded, but I don’t believe that prevents them from enjoying life. On the contrary. I believe this equips us better to handle life situations more realistically, because we are at a stage where we really know ourselves, what we want, where and how and when we let our hair down, we do it with confidence but also caution, something which might be viewed as reservations. We are more in sync with our needs, emotionally, sexually, physically. And if you have emerged as strong as you know you can be, we are not intimidated by relationships, we are not inhibited by society’s rules and prescripts that a woman should carry herself as a “lady” - a word I personally don’t take kind to ’cause that just puts you in a box or category of acceptable behaviour.

I want a lady…a woman who can be soft, gently and wild when necessary. And one who makes me feel like a man because I will make her feel like a woman. Like my princess…she will have found her prince as well.

Now this may sound harsh, but this is my honest opinion. Your criteria creates the impression that you are also still carrying hang-ups from being burned by past relationships and have not quite dealt with it. Don’t let that cloud your judgement Ramon. I read in an article in the Cosmopolitan once that we should give every person that expresses interest in us a fair chance by just talking to them at least, regardless of our own set criteria. At first I reacted negatively, thinking that since I love myself and I want the best, why should I compromise? But I thought about it for a long time and realized just how unrealistic my criteria really were. How would you know if there aren’t something just so purely perfect and right, made just for you, if one can’t see past things like looks or age. I found the most beautiful people under less attractive exteriors, or a few wrinkles or even under a bit of emotional baggage. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve still got that criteria, but I’ve moved it to the back now, I prefer to get to know someone first these days before I just dismiss them as too short, or too serious or too old/young or too full of it, etc.

I have dealt with all past issues. Thank you for asking. The door is closed on the past for me. When you quote Cosmopolitan I roll on the floor laughing (ROFL) because if the advice from magazine’s worked why are women still so unhappy? I have spoken to hundreds of women, older and younger and finding a real man, a man who has his life together, who is stable, secure, intelligent, has a sense of humour, and creative is very rare find indeed. Quoting Cosmo is like quoting the the outcome of a relationship of a soap opera - it’s just not real.

I have said a lot now, definitely more than what you may have bargained for. I hope you view it in the light it was intended, an honest and as objective as possible opinion. I don’t expect of you to give me any specifics of why you believe so strongly that your criteria is unfaultable, I will rest my case and respect them as your choices.

Younger people might be more open to experiment with new things, trends, etc, but that is usually due to their understanding of what is expected from them being in a certain age group or grouped in a specific generation. Older people have been there, done that and found other priorities or emphasis in their lives.

Younger women, especially in South Africa is growing up with more freedom, freedom from discrimination, freedom from racial prejuidice and freedom from society rules to a large extent. Technology like the Internet and cellphones break down more barriers to allow for direct communication then ever before. Younger people who make good choices in dating can be happier when they get older. When a women has reached 30+ and has never married it proves my point how many misguided mistakes women make in their choices of guys they date when younger. The best age for a women to get married is between 25-30.

Truthfully: from my experience people’s openness to experiment or try new things are not limited to age at all. It is in most cases a state of mind and depends entirely on the type of person/personality, regardless of age.

Popularity: 13% [?]

As you may know I live in Johannesburg, the New York City of Africa. And we have this talk radio station 702 which is very popular. My favourite show is the Tim Modise show from 9am-12 every week day. I highly recommend you listen to him via the Internet on www.702.co.za and especially his weekly interview with Dr Helgo Schomer a Psychologist from University of Cape Town. Well one day Tim played Martin Luther King Jr’s famous “I Have a Dream” speech and took a number of calls. Now for those of you who don’t know me I can be very nostalgic.

So recently I decided to track down a audio file of this great speech which I could listen to it again. This is the kinds of things I wish they will incorporate into the History curriculum in high schools. A focus on the contribution of people like Martin Luther King Jr that can inspire young people growing up in a world filled with turmoil. The attitude that King had in his life comes from a deep moral conviction. You know he was a Baptist Minister and that comes through very strongly in his speech. And this is something I plan to emulate in my own public talks.

You can download the MP3 of his speech here…

Also checkout this Time 100 profile here…

And remember if you want to feel enthusiastic, act enthusiastic…!

Popularity: 7% [?]

The new Miss South Africa was crowned recently at the annual bash at Sun City. Her name is Nokuthula Sithole, a student at WITS University, one of the most prestigious ones in the whole of Africa, even southern hemisphere. An interesting piece was written in the Sunday Times newspaper, Big platforms - Feminism may have come and gone, but the Miss SA pageant is still standing. And the jouranlist spent times speaking to, observing the contestants beforehand.

The one comment that really got my laughing was how they all wanted to use this platform to do good deeds, give back to the communite or help disadvantaged people. All noble statements but empty in my opinion. We all have the Selfish Gene so wonderfully described by Richard Dawkins. We humans because of the genes that make up our bodies, have a need to SURVIVE and REPLICATE. And it is easy to know that these women are young ladies who are still learning the ways of the world, etc. They are only now coming into their own and have many more lessons to learn about life, and love, and about people. The winner or for that matter all the finalists may think they are something special but they will sooner or later find out there are not. Beauty is common, it is God’s gift to women. They same way that purpose and ambition is God’s gift for men. So these women who are models and have doors opened for them would be wise to take time out, learn more about themselves, develop a real personality and not depend only on physical appearence, and most importantly make sure they have something else besides their physical appearence they can use to generate an income. If they don’t they will be stuck in lipstick heaven forever, trying to be eternally young and married to a wealthy man, who may never know how to REALLY bring out the woman in them.

Popularity: 7% [?]

Today I went to the gym and half way through my workout I saw this amazing women. She was so elegant and she was so lady like. Wearing a floral dress and have her hair tied in ponytail down the back of her neck. She was also wearing a shoe with a heal that accentuated her ankle and calves to some extent. The dress came to just below her knees. Caring her bag and walking so gracefully through the gym as if she was floating on air. A sight that is seldom seen these days after the Women’s Liberation Movement changed the role of modern western women forever.

The great spiritual teacher of our time Osho as well as David Deida explains that the feminine mysteriousness is what creates the ultimate attraction between a man and a woman. As women loose their femininity they become unnatural. Women should be equal but similarity should be dropped. Osho says they should become as dissimilar as possible, keeping their uniqueness as women. When they become more and more feminine the mystery deepens. So much can be learned from the simplicity of earlier life. So I say to all women reading this if you’re unhappy in your dating and relationships become more feminine. Do whatever it takes to embrace this and you will make significant progress in the happiness you will enjoy into the future.

Popularity: 7% [?]

Dear “Brad”

It seems you have a reputation for being a self-styled Casanova. Unfortunately, in this case “self-styled” is a euphemism for delusional. So I am writing this letter in the vain hope that you may realise the flaws in your dating approach. However, this is doubtful. For the nature of your delusion is such that you think any attention is good attention. Rather, this letter is intended to provide some very basic dating advice to some very misguided souls, based on your blunders. The advice may seem rudimentary and unnecessary, but if you are making these mistakes it is possible someone else is too.

I have it on good authority that you read a book which said that women are attracted to men who insult them. This explains a lot. In one conversation you called me fat and implied I am both stupid and mentally unstable. But I am not the only victim. Out of a group of four friends, you have told all four they are fat, one that she is a coward, and another that she has yellow, crooked teeth. The last two insults came only after a rejection.

In fact, you are famous – well, infamous. You walked up to another friend (who did not know you from a bar of soap, may I remind you) and accused her of stalking you. There are novel and enticing ways to ‘pick up’ women, but that was not one of them.

So where do you get the balls to treat women in this way? Well, you believe you are ‘the original’ Brad Pitt (last year it was Justin Timberlake). Coming from most people that is a flirtatious joke, but I think you honestly believe that Brad copied your style. Not a chance.

The proof of the method is in your dating history. Or rather, your lack of a dating history. Since you have never secured a date using the ‘use and abuse’ method, I suggest you abandon it. To be honest, the first time I met you, there were no insults and no arrogant remarks, and you seemed nice. I prefer the original you to the original Brad or Justin or whoever you are today. Just a thought…

Yours sincerely

Camilla Lloyd

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From Doormat to Dreamgirl-A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship

Contending that some women are “too nice,” comedian and radio show host Sherry Argov has written Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl-A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship. “I’m not recommending that a woman have an abrasive disposition,” Argov writes, “The woman I’m describing is kind yet strong. She doesn’t give up her life, and she won’t chase a man.” Her sassy book is filled with scenarios and advice aimed at making women subtly stronger and self-empowered. Argov’s principles, which range from the far fetched to the downright absurd, include “If you give him a feeling of power, he’ll want to protect you and he’ll want to give you the world” and “A little distance combined with the appearance of self-control makes him nervous that he may be losing you.” The book, which has already been featured on The View and The O’Reilly Factor, should make waves with its controversial view of relationships.

About the Author

Sherry Argov is host of her own radio show on KRLA, which airs in more than forty cities in California. Her work has been featured on shows such as The View and The O’Reilly Factor, as well as national publications such as Esquire, Complete Woman, and Woman’s Own. She also writes for two newspapers in the Los Angeles area, where she resides. Do you feel like you are too nice? Sherry Argov’s Why Men Love Bitches delivers a unique perspective as to why men are attracted to a strong woman who stands up for herself. With saucy detail on every page, this no-nonsense guide reveals why a strong woman is much more desirable than a “yes woman” who routinely sacrifices herself. The author provides compelling answers to the tough questions women often ask: -Why are men so romantic in the beginning and why do they change? -Why do men take nice girls for granted? -Why does a man respect a woman when she stands up for herself? Full of much-needed advice, hilarious real-life relationship scenarios, “she says/he thinks” tables, and the author’s unique “Attraction Principles,” Why Men Love Bitches gives you bottom-line answers. It helps you know who you are, stand your ground, and relate to men on a whole new level. Once you’ve discovered the feisty attitude men find so magnetic, you’ll not only increase the romantic chemistry in the relationship-you’ll gain your man’s love and respect with far less effort.

• buy Why Men Love Bitches from Kalahari.net if you live in South Africa

Popularity: 10% [?]

Last night I attended the annual celebration of the Chinese Revolution at the Sandton Sun Hotel. The event was formal and everyone was wearing expensive suits and the (mostly Chinese) ladies beautiful dresses. My good friends Selwyn and Italo from the Preview Theatre invited me along. I also met Richard and Francis from my Table Tennis Club. Later on my met a new friend Diamond Singlima Si who represents the Taiwanese Independence Party. There is a long history of conflict over the independence of Taiwan from mainland China.

As I entered the Sandton Sun Hotel I spotted Tony Leon, leader of the Democratic Alliance, behind me. I didn’t see him again later on but looked forward to meeting more “important” people. After hooking up with Diamond we prowled the room to find “important” people to meet. We soon ran into Marthinus van Schalkwyk aka “Kortbroek“, the leader of the New National Party. The highlight of the even was talking briefly with the pious Mangosuthu Buthelezi, leader of the Inkatha Freedom Party.

Popularity: 10% [?]