Entries Tagged 'Speed dating' ↓

by Camilla Lloyd

The simplest definition of speed dating is dating intensified. Instead of three hours, you have three minutes; instead of one date, you are dating fifteen people. It is up to you to up your game. But in the next few minutes I will tell you how.

I do not need to tell you how nerve-wrechcking a normal date is. So, I would not blame you if you were bordering on petrified before going to a speed dating event. There is actually less reason to be nervous, because the chances of impressing one person out of fifteen are considerably easier than just one out of one. The key is even if you are about to melt into a puddle of mush on the floor, that you don’t look like you are about to melt into a puddle of mush on the floor.

Easier said than done.

Be aware of the body language you are sending out. Don’t hunch over, giggle nervously or avoid eye-contact. Remember your manners. Chances are your partner is equally nervous, so they will understand the odd nervous snort. But you need to show them that under the nervousness is a self-assured you.

Have something to eat before the event. Just avoid the garlic, please. Eating may help to settle the butterflies partying in your stomach. You may also be tempted to have the odd drink to settle the nerves. That’s all good and well – the food will just help prevent the easy-going you from being the person who everyone will remember as having gotten motherless at the last speed dating event.

If you are one of those people who talk incessantly and at the rate of a fighter jet when you get nervous, don’t. Don’t blurt out embarrassing family secrets, don’t ask impulsive sexual questions, don’t lie, and please – oh, please – don’t start the conversation on politics, death, your alien abduction or probing questions around religion. That is one surefire way to kill any romantic mood.

Have a prepared list of questions and interesting, but not controversial, topics ready. Even just knowing it is there in your bag or in your back pocket is enough to make you feel a little less panicked. That doesn’t mean that those are the only things that you may talk about. The list is there purely as a backup, and as a source of interesting conversations when the “So, what do you do for a living?” conversation gets a little tired.

Now, that wasn’t so hard, was it?

Just one last thing. Like Cell C says, if they wanted your phone in the movie they would have put it there. Switch it off!

Popularity: 13% [?]

Obviously, physical appearance is important, especially on the dating scene. But, it dawned on me after the first few episodes of Show Me the Mommy? that we forget the real reason that physical appearance is important. The outer package tells us about the inner person.

Looking Good

On a speed date, physical appearance acts as shorthand to your personality. People are more drawn to you if you look like you take care of yourself. The reasoning is that you treat others the way you treat yourself. So make sure, especially, that your nails and hair are clean, and that you smell good.

The Scent of Love?

Deodorant and perfume are perfect examples of how to reveal the inner you. It is said that a perfume you cannot smell is perfect for you because it blends into, and thus compliments, your natural body odour. By choosing a certain perfume, you are choosing a certain identity. A sweet scent suggests innocence, while a more musky scent suggests a stronger personality.

Fashion Right

Dress is perhaps the most important indicator of your personality. The way you dress alerts your date to superficial things like social status. A lawyer dresses differently to a student. Dress is highly sensitive to fashion. That doesn’t mean becoming a fashion slave, but remember that your date’s taste is probably steered by what parades through the pages of fashion magazines.

Dress can also tell more personal things about you. The key is in the detail. An unusual belt may suggest a more unusual personality. Before the speed dating evening, choose at least one item of clothing or jewelery with personal meaning. You’ll feel special wearing the item, and that will come across in your behaviour.

Ultimately, wear something that looks smart, but that you feel comfortable in. The more comfortable you feel, the more comfortable you will look. Speed dating events can be fairly nerve-wracking. When you are nervous, it is not that easy to ‘be yourself’. Dressing in a way that represents your personality, cuts out half the work.

Remember that Smile

When you are nervous, it is all too easy to forget the most important detail. But don’t forget to smile. Smiling triggers the release of hormones that make you feel happy. That doesn’t include the mutant, strained smile that is born out of stressful situations, but a genuine smile.

Be Real

Speed dating is all about meeting people we feel a connection with, and that we feel comfortable with. It is all too easy to lie and pretend to be what you feel your date may be looking for. But, that also means you might get stuck on a longer date with someone you have nothing in common with. Let your appearance tell the story, and don’t be afraid to embrace the cliche be yourself.

Popularity: 12% [?]

by Nomfundo Mbaba

I walked into Cubana, the venue for the speed dating event in Cape Town, and I immediately began to feel the butterflies in my stomach. It’s one thing going on a blind date, but going on blind dates with 15 men is a whole other ball game

That’s how speed dating works. A certain number of men and the same number of women have quick one on one date of five minutes or less. They chat, socialise and hope for a love connection.

Meeting the Potentials
On this night I was ready for anything. I approached my seating area and was relieved to meet two other women who would be dating the same men I would date. Caroline and Samantha are siblings. As a working single mom, Caroline doesn’t have time to meet guys, so trying out speed dating is the next best thing. Samantha is single too, but she came with her sister for moral support. Meeting a man would just be an added bonus.

On this date the three of us sat in our little area and the men would come to us; rotating until they had dated every women in the room.
It wasn’t until five dates later that my butterflies disappeared and were replaced with a mental block of: What do I say next? I have already asked the same questions over and over. And I have responded to the same questions over and over: What do you do? Where do you live? Is it your first time here? Blah, blah, blah.

“Was five minutes enough time to truly connect with somebody?” I wondered to myself.

Speeding ahead
By the time I was with guy number 13, I couldn’t remember who guy number two was and what he did for a living. My only saving grace was a card the organisers had given me at the beginning of the evening where I could fill out the person’s speed dating number (e.g. guy number five). I could write brief notes to remind myself of who interested me and write a big HELL NO next to the number of the person who was not to my liking.

Possible match?
I think it was guy number seven who interested me and made a lasting impression. He told me my boots were nice. He was the only one who noticed my new shoes or even made a comment. And because I am a shoe-aholic (one who is addicted to shoes), I was very pleased. We had made a connection. Not a love connection, just a shoe connection.
The following day when I filled out my online card at www.speeddater.co.za (doesn’t exist anymore so try www.smartdate.co.za instead) with my favourites, guy number seven was one of them. Even though I had made no love connection with anybody there, I was curious and eager to see who had chosen me. There were three “matches”. I had strategically cast my date net wide, so three matches out of 12 was not so bad.

Unconventional Success Story
This Speed dating thing turned out to be a not-so-bad move. I met a lot of interesting people and began to enjoy it as the evening went on.
I’ve told my single friends about it and I hope to go with them next time (if I’m still single).
Even if I did not meet a soul mate, I do have a success story. Guy number seven has become a good friend. He is still single, so if there are any single women out there let me know so I can hook you up with a very sweet man.

For more info Speed Dating websites in South Africa go here.

Popularity: 13% [?]