I’ve been single for my 31 years on this planet so far. And I plan to continue that way into the foreseeable future. Some people may say its because I’m afraid of commiment because my mother and father divorced when I was a toddler and others may say I have not found the right woman yet. Both are correct and I have more reasons. Firstly, as a man, I have realised there is no benefit to getting married. Getting married is usually (note usually not always) the woman’s dream and not the man’s dream. Men dream of success in the world, becoming a sports champion, becoming a CEO, inventing something amazing and reaping the benefits of that. And sometimes a man may dream of a particular woman. But not in the same way.
Someone once told me when a man sees a woman he thinks, “I wonder what sex with her would be like.” And when a woman sees a man she may think, “I wonder what a relationships with him would be like.” This is essentially the difference between how men and women see the opposite sex. Now it is a biological fact that men can become interested in a relationship, pear-bonding and even starting a family with a particular woman. This normally happens after he had sex with her, and almost never before hand.
So its with amusement I read some of the people listed in this article on single life. The only people that are even remotely convincing is George Clooney and Charlize Theron. George Clooney certainly is proving the statement that a man has no benefit in getting married. And here’s the brief reasons why I got from Tom Leykis:
- He can still have sex with a woman
- He can have babies if he chooses too
- He can even live with a woman if he really wants too
All this while not being married! I must say because of the disaster of single mothers its best if children are born into a married life. That stability and security is important to a childs self-esteem. And especially male children which I will write about more in the future. Single mothers raising male children in most cases are a disaster in the making.
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Interesting thoughts.
There are a couple aspects that you have ommitted in your writings, in particular religious grounds for getting married as one.
Secondly, it seems to be fairly evident that a lot of society’s problems can be traced back to ‘broken homes’. It is difficult as a single parent to raise a child. A balance is always needed in the household, the woman’s side and the man’s side for both male and female children. The corollary argument however is that a lot of marriages end up being broken, so why enter into marriage in the first place?
The lack of marriage, is not only a ‘commitment’ issue, it shows a few things that society as we perceive it (in the west) views the man’s role.
It is never seen to be a successful life if you have a stable home. The only way for a man to be successful is for something tangible and visible to the public at large to judge. People cannot judge your family life as they don’t see the inner workings.
The whole ’sleep around and make babies with multiple women’ argument results in a high HIV/AIDS load and a lot of unwanted pregnancies, as is the case in Botswana.
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