How to avoid your girlfriends emotional baggage

A funny situation has evolved in my life recently whereby one of my girlfriends ended up working for me and helping me out on a part-time basis. I work from home so she used to come in and run my office for me, especially when I’m travelling. She’s always been very sweet, very adorable and sometimes to predictable in this sense. However, because of this attitude she had towards life, it was clear that her family abused her inability to say “no”.

So she showed how yesterday morning and at first I did not notice anything different. She went to the shop close by and it took her 1.5 hours to return. In fact I was in a panic and went to find her, only to discover she was parked down the road, apparently trying to find her cellphone. I had gone through a series of emotions from let me wait a bit longer, to how the hell could she take so long, to what the could have happened to her because she’s not answering her cellphone.

Anyway to cut to the chase. She began this sad story about her brother, whom I suspect, slapped her. While she did not say it out loud, upon closer inspection I noticed her lip was bruised, and she was using excessive amount of make-up to cover things up. Now here is the punch-line: she was trying to persuade me to allow her to work, and in my interpretation, to avoid dealing her emotional baggage caused by various family pressures over the years, and continued violent outbursts from her abusive, alcoholic brother.

Yes, she was trying to use me to escape facing the reality of her situation. I stood firm and sent her back home. You may think I am that I do not care about her. Here’s the perspective I share with you today: other people’s emotional problems is not yours to fix. And the more you allow them to escape, avoid, hide from it, the more likely they will never deal with it. They will never grow up, never become responsible, and never behave like an adult. Now if she was 16 maybe I would respond differently but she’s 28 and she’s been putting up with emotional abuse from her family for the last 10 years!

If you still do not understand where I’m coming from maybe listen to Michael Tsarion’s interview about The Outsider and the Guilt Complex. Never feel sorry for people who do not take responsibility for their own actions. Babies or children now that’s a different story.

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