Interracial dating in post-Apartheid South Africa

One of the most popular posts I’ve written on this blog is asking the question why several successful black South African women are dating or married to white men. Now in the post-Apartheid South Africa there is no statistics about interracial marriages as their used to be. So what I’m talking about today is purely based on local observations and inferring research by economist Ray Fisman.

So here we go. In South Africa there seems to be more and more interracial couples. Since these couples are forming part of the pop culture on television soaps opera’s they can be seen as more acceptable than ever before. There are various combinations of interracial dating e.g. white man, black woman; white man, Indian woman; white man, Chinese woman; black man, white woman; black man, coloured woman; Indian man, Chinese woman, etc. My own observations does concur the findings of Ray Fisman, i.e. women have stronger preference for men from their own race, while men have little to no preference for the race of the woman they date. I do think this criteria become even more sensitive and conservative when men and women consider marriage.

I have had relationships with Black, Coloured, Indian and White women. Only the Chinese girls have eluded me so far And I have found subtle differences here and there. Overall it was better for the same reasons or worse for the same reasons. Where possible I avoid meeting family these days to avoid giving these women the wrong idea and creating any unfounded expectations. The social conditioning has made it easier for me to meet and mingle with certain groups less so that other groups. However, I have found with my mixed racial heritage I can adjust and blend pretty easily into most groups. And I always keep them guessing.

From the article, An economist solves the mysteries of dating, to find out the conclusion about interracial dating are as follows:

“Another clear gender divide, this one less expected, emerged in our findings on racial preferences, reported in a forthcoming article in the Review of Economic Studies. Women of all the races we studied revealed a strong preference for men of their own race: White women were more likely to choose white men; black women preferred black men; East Asian women preferred East Asian men; Hispanic women preferred Hispanic men. But men don’t seem to discriminate based on race when it comes to dating. A woman’s race had no effect on the men’s choices.

Two wrinkles on this: We found no evidence of the stereotype of a white male preference for East Asian women. However, we also found that East Asian women did not discriminate against white men (only against black and Hispanic men). As a result, the white man-Asian woman pairing was the most common form of interracial dating?but because of the women’s neutrality, not the men’s pronounced preference. We also found that regional differences mattered. Daters of both sexes from south of the Mason-Dixon Line revealed much stronger same-race preferences than Northern daters.”

So what about post-Apartheid interracial dating in South Africa you ask? Well it’s happening all around you but don’t look to meet someone of the opposite sex on a online dating website or at a speed dating event. All but one of over 40 dating companies in South Africa are run by white people, and for reason (maybe its the advertising) attracts mostly white people. The black market in online dating has exploded according to my own research. And it’s a face that there are very few black or non-white people attending speed dating events.

People seem to be extremely sensitive for being classified as racists but when they completely dating profiles, it’s really is their own private right to choose to exclude or include those from other races. My own experience on DatingBuzz, the largest online dating network in South Africa, has been that by far the majority of white women opt for non-negotiable on their criteria for their ideal match. And I can prove that when I meet these same women in a social setting all those hidden or unconscious psychological prejudices disappear.

Here’s another interesting article you can explore from CNN: Could Mr Right be white? And I’d love to hear your story about an interracial relationship or fling from the past, or better yet questions about how to approach someone from another race. This blog will focus more on interracial dating advice in 2008.

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