Respect Yourself and Deserve What You Want

Tonight a woman phoned me whom I met recently. She started telling me how she’s on her way home (I was on my way home as well) and that she’s just come from her weekly class (she’s studying toward a Charted Accountant), went for coffee and now on her way home. I joked about her not inviting me to join her for coffee.

Well she got a little defence and tried to put the blame on me for not phoning her. Well I was having dinner with another woman (who also paid for it) and so I didn’t have the empty feeling I think she had on her way home. Because it is very likely she had coffee with her friends from the class or alone. Well I politely told her I’m not going to continue talking to her after she told me she was actually tired and dying to get into bed, etc. This is the lack of respect people in general have for themselves and also others. Even for people they are interested in. The emptiness in your life is likely to make you want to hear the voice or get an email from someone you are attracted to.

Well you should try to break this bad habit. Do not respond to people who are complaining about their current situation and calling you up for conversation. This is what I did…I told her, “call me back when you’re not tired.” And I remained silent…she tried to continue the conversation, so I repeated myself, “please call me back when you are not tired.” This is how you set boundaries. How you do not accept 2nd class behaviour from people. This is how you control the frame and how you can cultivate an attitude of non-neediness. Most people suffer in loneliness, even in crowds. I know because I experienced it many times in the past. And the worst was of course when I was out in the public and still felt emptiness inside.

The way to overcome this is to experience it and like water allow it to pour over your body and it will eventually fall away. You have to let go, completely. In Taoism this is called “the fasting of the heart.”

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