This week I was interviewed by for an article in Soul magazine about why there is more single women than ever before. And it was so weird because I had been thinking about the masculine and the feminine in new ways over the last two weeks and had this discussion with a few women.

My basic inspiration for this world view comes from watching an interview with Steven Ross on the Conscious Media Network about Beauty. At some point early in the interview he begins to explain how it is the devine feminine in the world has created beauty, love and harmony not the masculine. “The great poets, musicians, philosophers that have brought beauty in the world, whether they are men or women. It came from the feminine side of the being, not the the male, masculine side. And so when we look at intuition, healing, perception, that comes from the feminine side of the nature. And for women to abandon and not to understand who they are is bringing the (human) race down in the opposite direction it could be going. Because the male does not produce beauty, the male does not produce art. And we’re talking about the masculine energy. Of course males do but it’s that feminine side. And it does not mean somebody is effeminate or gay. It just means that this is the creative beautiful side.”

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Recently I bumped into a woman whom I met about 5 years ago at nightclub. At first glance she still looked hot after all these years. A slim body and sexy clothes, flat tummy and nice boobs. However, she was likely more bitchy than when we first met. This time however, I had also become more assertive. And I kept joking around with her and her friends.

At some point I was speaking to her friend and she explained they were both ?divorced with no kids.? No you may or may not know my stance on dating women with kids but that is a non-negotiable for me these days. The way this woman added ?no kids? really got me thinking about it. So obviously they were what’s called ?back on the market? and the woman I met 5 years ago made a very bad decision in her marriage. Whatever the specific reasons for it not working out is irrelevant because my frame of mind says that woman choose the men, no matter how the men misbehave, they, the woman actually made this bad choice. And what gets to them eventually is knowing this. In the same light my mother chose my dad, whom she divorced after a few short years. In general women, the media and society tend to blame the men for bad behaviour, cheating, drinking, slacking, etc.

Anyway another way of thinking about women stems from the concepts of premiums and discounts I discovered listening to FJ Shark’s Keys to the Kingdom of Women audio programme. The basic idea here is that premiums are high maintenance, expect more than they give, and in general should be avoided when you first notice them. They may be very attractive, which is what helps them get away with their bitchy behaviour. And men must become more assertive, identify the two basic types of women, and cut losses quickly or move forward quickly. It’s also the trait of a good salesman, that is qualifying your clients quickly so you do not waste to much time on dead leads.

Here’s some reasons why you don’t want to date divorced women:

• they made a bad decision (no matter what the guy did, they chose him)
• they likely to give you the run around about sex and intimacy
• they very likely to have commitment issues and other psychological baggage
• you are not there to play Freud
• you are not looking to make new friends because you have friends already
• there are many women, never married from 18 to 38

As I keep saying more and more these days: If you are going through all the effort reading and studying seduction and dating, to improve your success with women, it becomes a real test of character to get them coming back for more. Anyone can have one night stands, and we’ve all been there, done that. But when you are working so hard on improving your life, it is good when you are able to draw on the self-esteem interest you’ve been building over the years. Don’t give up. Keep on, keeping on.

What’s your experience been in dating divorced men or women??

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This is a some comments that was published in Move! magazine.

1. Discuss Money Matters

One of the most common mistakes people make in merging their lives is not to discuss money. And one of the biggest causes of break-ups and divorces in general is disagreements about money. Part of this discussion should include what each will do. So for example if one is doing the cooking, the other could do the dishes and vice-versa. Write out a clear agreement on how money will be spent and how you will split your responsibilities around the house.

2. Have a Backup Plan

Nothing last forever. So be prepared for the reality of things not working out. Think ahead and plan ahead. Make sure you do not cut ties with friends and family now that you are moving in together because they will be part of your backup plan when you need them. You do not want to alienate them. Have some savings put away or have a contingency plan so you can act quickly.

The biggest thing to remember is to be pragmatic about moving in together. Love can be blind but don’t let yourself get the short end of the stick.

Also checkout It may be a mistake to live together before getting married.

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Life, relationships and all human interactions relate best to the basic principles of economics which is supply and demand. When you have an oversupply of goods e.g. desperate guys trying to get the attention of an attractive woman their value drops very fast in her eyes because they are all doing the same thing to try and impress her. Now imagine a guy who ignores her and talks to other women creating curiosity and interest from her; his value rises because he is in demand and the more other women he speaks to this attractive women will start to become interesting in getting his attention. So you want to avoid group behaviour. Another way to look at this is to keep investing in yourself. And the more you invest in yourself the more attractive you become. And the more you give to yourself, you begin to overflow so that you have more to share with those around you.

Although I’m not a fan of John Gray, this concept is from a quote he makes in the hit movie The Secret. Remember you can contact your friendly neighbourhood Dating Coach here.

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This is part of a Q&A series from my CNBC Africa interview. So here is my list of the biggest mistakes professionals make. You know just last week I was walking toward Village Walk in Sandton and I spotted a group of guys who likely work at Rand Merchant Bank or Investec. They were all wearing black suits and probably going for lunch. Now the first thing I noticed here is that these guys all looked the same. There was nothing that set any of them apart from the other. In fact they all looked like could be working in a morgue. So when it comes to how you’re dressing for work it will make a huge difference is you can just wear one item like a tie or a shirt that can get the attention of women. There is a theory in the seduction world worth exploring here called peacocking.

Anyway here’s my top 5 mistakes. Post additional ones as comments on this post.

1. Not approaching the women they really want to approach
2. Instead of trying different approaches, they keep trying harder doing the same thing
3. Nervousness and anxiety prevents them from acting normal
4. Not knowing how to escalate physically
5. Focussing to much on one woman and not improving their overall success with women

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On Tuesday I went to the traffic department to pick-up my new drivers license. As fellow South Africans will know - this is a nightmare. The whole system is so messed up because of computer glitches and government bureaucracies and bungling…’nuff said.

Anyway while waiting in the queue I see this woman reading a Danielle Steel book. So as I walked in I immediately made a loud comment about the two guys on either side of her being losers for not talking to her. In fact I pointed to her and said “How rude! Do you guys realise she’s telling you how boring you are and her book is more interesting then whatever you have to say?”

She hit back that they had been stuck in traffic department for two days. They were there the previous day and the systems went down so they came back. Now the great Chinese sage, Lao Tzu, once said those who justify do not convince. And here she was - I hardly know her - and she is defending herself. If she did not care she would continue to read. First IOI - indicator of interest - and she asked me a question - next IOI. My name was called and picked up my drivers license card. I returned to her, asked for her cellphone, called myself and asked her name as a I left - remarking that somebody up there likes me.

So there was some warm-up conversation. Always teasing and never letting on. From the moment I sat down, asked for her phone, called my own number and returned her phone asking for her name > less than 2 mins! This has been one of my favourite ways of getting a woman’s phone number.

The next article will be reposted from David DeAngelo and his technique on email addresses and phone numbers. I’ve tried it and it causes to much of a delay so go directly for the phone number.

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