This is a lesson I’ve learnt from Stéphane Hémon, a Montreal based Seduction Guru who teaches Unconditional Love. Since discovering his teachings last year I read all the archives of Stephane’s newsletter. Tonight I’m a little sad because I had to let go of a woman I really love. And its weird because I am sad yet there is no more crying. And the lesson is really that she does not believe I can love her in the way I’ve described. And she wants me to “Fall in Love” with her. This is the bullshit we have to put up with. Really intelligent men and women who believe in Love the way Hollywood has described it for us.
And I’m gonna share with you exactly what I sent her via a text message on my cellphone after I left her apartment…
“You can reject love but not Ramon’s Love. My love is unconditional. It is more than romantic love. It is beyond falling in-love yet youy refuse it. I wish to honour your right to deprive yourself of My Love. And I respect your decision tonight! Goodbye …”
Now on first reading this you may think I was arrogant. And in reality I am just not putting up with any bullshit from her. She’s mature, she’s intelligent and she has a sense of a humour. She knows I care about her and she keeps asking me for validation. This behavior is neediness. The need to be told what she wants to hear.
These days I don’t spell out how I feel. I show women how I feel about them. Most people and this woman in particular responded to me based on Fear. She is afraid of loosing control and falling in love with me, she is afraid of being hurt by me like she has been in the past and she’s also afraid of the unknown. She does not believe she deserves the Happiness that my Unconditional Love can give her…
Her loss not mine.
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Maybe you just weren’t giving her what she wanted from a man. Maybe the way you thought you were showing your love was not acceptable to her. You may be fooling yourself into a false idea of love if you are letting some external source dictate what love is; like your love guru’s speak. You must not have been listening to this woman you dated or trying to understand her needs. People should be allowed to need things from a romantic partner. Not only showing how you feel, but expressing how you feel is a sign of maturity as a person. You knew what she wanted but witheld it because you didn’t want to give her the verbal assurance or reinforcement she wanted. Word and deed go together. Your actions must not have matched her needs either. You are young and self-centered but you may eventually get it - if you loved her unconditionally you would have accepted her the way she was - fears and all. At this point, I think her fears were probably her inner voice warning her that as much as she may have cared for you, you were definitely not a good choice for her and that you could not possibly offer her what she really wanted from a man.
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