Marie Forleo's book Makes Every Man Want You

Make Every Man Want You by Marie ForleoThe first chapter of Make Every Man Want You: How to be so damn irresistible you’ll barely keep from dating yourself, is a revised edition of a previous ebook by Marie Forleo. The book title alone is more irresistible then most books of this nature.and suggests a very upbeat author. Yes, Marie happens to be a life coach, dance instructor and choreographer for MTV, VH1 and so forth.

Her writing style is really sharp, crystal clear, to the point, no B.S. that I wish more self-help authors would embrace. Don’t go around the long (wrong) way when you can cut through the forest and get to the other side quicker, and with more learning.

The first chapter, Irresistibility 101, reads like sage advice from the Tao Te Ching. Most adults, men and women, seem to loose the child-like-ness when we grow up. And being like a child is sometimes irresistible. Just think about how some children can just get what they want, or how they can get out of trouble by being cute, cuddly and of course irresistible. There is a lesson here to be learned. Let go and be in the now is the sage advice also found in Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now.

Marie ForleoOne thing I like about Marie is how direct she is in her advice. And one thing I’ve heard her say in a previous interview and I fully agree with, and emphasise in my own discussions of relationships is this: You are likely operating on false information. For me one of the greatest sources of dating/relationship problems stems from divorced parents. In my own situation my mother and father divorced when I was maybe two years old. My dad remarried and my mother had a long term relationship. My dad’s 2nd wife passed away and his been alone since; while my mother’s long term relationship ended when she got pregnant with my sister. After years of frustration I just realised these two are NOT good role models for how to create and maintain, sustain a healthy, loving and fun long term relationship with a woman.

The “Time-Tested Truths” from Chapter 3 almost read like the Four Noble Truths in Buddhism. Just kidding they are solid and I’m listing them here to let them speak for themselves:

  1. A Relationship Will Not Save You
  2. Relationships Are Spiritual Opportunities, Not a Needs Exchange
  3. Life Is Now: This Is It!
  4. Men Are As-Is Merchandise or Love ‘Em or Leave ‘Em, Baby!
  5. If You Want Guarantees In Love, You Don’t Want Love

In the next chapter one of the most honest, and funniest lines I’ve ever read in a book like this, and said by a woman: “Here’s a tip: If you think you look fat in a particular outfit, you probably do. This whole chapter is the perfect blue print for a woman to know what NOT to do. And Marie’s chapter titles are as spunky and funny as the book title.

All in all there are plenty of gems in this book. And will become my bible for advice to the female species 😉 So many books go on and on without getting to the point. Marie just knows how to make the point with enough irresistibility you can’t put this book down once you start reading it. I have female friend, Leonora or Leo for short who does all these things without knowing it. She is a magnet for irresistible attention from men. And has some amazing girlfriends. So unlike those really attractive women who are hated by others, Leo is able to project her irresistible nature to the world. And therefore draws constant attention which she directs which ever way suits her best. And the outcome or result? Well happiness or rather inner joy. Because I learned a while ago that happiness is what you expect other people to “give” you but joy is what you have inside. And nobody can take that away from you.

 

How to use Social Proof to improve your Dating

Dr Robert Cialdini wrote a book called Influence, The Psychology of Persuasion. One of the weapons of influence and core principles in this book is “Social Proof”. Wikipedia defines it as “is a psychological phenomenon which occurs in ambiguous social situations when people are unable to determine the appropriate mode of behaviour. Making the assumption that surrounding people possess more knowledge about the situation, they will deem the behaviour of others as appropriate.”

So here’s a recent example of this. Last night was I was out with two female friends and another guy in Johannesburg. And we went to a regular spot for me, Katzie’s in Rosebank. I know most of the waiters, bartenders, and other regular patrons. So very naturally I start to introduce people to each other. Now what this does for me is puts me in the centre. If you want to call it centre of attention that’s also good.

But when you are a Connector, as Malcolm Gladwell talks about in the Tipping Point, you can create instant social proof. And as they chat among themselves I’m free to approach new groups of women I do not know. So what you ask? Well social proof pushes your social value way up. And in bars, clubs, social groups it allows you to stand-out. And when you talk to a woman/man outside of your social group who has seen your social proof it makes them much less resistant and much more interested in what you have to say. The biggest benefit I’ve seen is it brings the new people into your life without hard work. So through expanding your acquaintances you increase your social proof, and increase the chances of meeting your next girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, etc.

 

iWeek 2006 now open for bookings

One of the biggest Internet industry conferences in South Africa, the annual Internet Week or iWeek is now open for bookings. I spoke at this conference in 2004 on the topic of the Internet Cafe industry in South Africa. And I get regular emails every month increasingly about how to set-up and Internet Cafe. Well I’m working on this.

What’s so shocking is how disinterested the ISPs are to encourage Cyber Cafe’s in South Africa. My current estimate is approximately 300 of them vs several thousand in countries like Taiwan and South Korea. A news article I found once claimed India has over 50,000 of them!

I will be attending this year’s event (not as a speaker) but to rally for support for my research into Internet Cafe industry. We need much more access before 2010.

 

On Being a Lady

This is from the Napoleon Hill Foundation’s Thought of the Day, “Margaret Thatcher once observed that being powerful is like being a lady: If you have to tell others you are, you aren’t. Truly great leaders gain respect by the way they conduct themselves, not by the loudness of their orders. You gain respect by respecting others”

Now what I  about this is it talks about how important you have to BE for success in dating and life in general. You have to BE CONFIDENT to approach a woman. You have to BE ARTICULATE when doing a business presentation, etc. There’s no way to fake till you make it. The Universe will only allow it for so long and you have to get your shit together sooner or later.

 

Meaning of my name Ramon

Number of Ramon – 7 Bearers of this baby name are odd persons of saturnine temper. They are often philosophers and mystics at heart. They tire easily of a bustling and hasty life, love to think all alone and hate light-mindedness. Quite often they are devoid of commercialism and a thirst for comfort. Having keen intelligence, they can easily synthesize facts and draw unexpected conclusions from them. Somewhat mysterious, sometimes very pessimistic, they tend to be disillusioned and are inclined to believe that they are better than others.

Go here for this website to find the meaning of your name. This website is filled with Google Adsense but none the less its useful. I like to find out more about myself. I think the ancient Greeks had an epitaph, “Know Thyself”.

 

2006 Star Trek Minicon in South Africa

Today I attended my 2nd Star Trek minicon in Johannesburg, South Africa. The minicon is hosted annually by Science Fiction South Africa. I’ve been a memeber since 2004 and attended a few of their events. Its a small group and the people are very friendly and on the shy, introverted side of life. That’s to be expected for the characters of these shows (except for the leader/Captain) in most cases tend to be shy, intellectual, scienctific types. I used to be shy in high school. And that really meant I was suppressing the true me. Or that I was not being true to myself. The Myers-Briggs typology test taught me that introversion just means you work best alone and you’re drained when you’re spending time with lots of people. I have discovered that I am more of an extrovert and I am operating at my peak interacting with groups of people. When I’m alone all day I can get depressed. And the best remedy here is to go to the shop and buy some bread or milk.

 

Online replaces telly and print for teens

This is not exactly news for me because I’ve been following these trends internationally from the annual reports published by the Centre for the Digital Future.

Here’s the South African perspective.

A recent survey by www.Sweet16.co.za found that more South Africans teenagers are spending time online than watching television or reading magazines and newspapers.

This is attributed to an increase in households with broadband connections.

The study found that 47.1 percent of teenagers access the internet from home, and 10.7 percent at school.

Of the girls aged between12 and 24, 37.2 percent of them browse the net for a few hours each day, with 17.4 percent logging in at least once a day and 38.1 percent a few times a week.

These teenagers spend their time on the net “window shopping” for their next offline purchase, among other things.