On Tuesday evening I won the Best Preprepared Speech (2nd time) for my C&L 5 Body Language speech at my Toastmasters club. This was weird because I chose to speak about the basics of body language and the objective of the speech was to demonstrate body language.

Some of the basics that I covered were:

1. When you arrive at a new venue pause when you enter the room. Allow people to notice you. This is an extremely powerful statement especially in a bar or nightclub. You must pause for several seconds about 10 to really allow the room to become aware of you. When you do this you will experience society pressure in your subconscious. Ignore that breath and walk through the centre of the room. Whether you realise this or not you have just demonstrated using only body language to be a very confident man. Much more confident than most guys in bars and clubs. Most of the women will have noticed and be more open to speaking to you later on when you approach them. Some may even come up to you after you have positioned yourself somewhere visible.

2. When you are walking always push your shoulders back. So whenever you are out always remember to do this. You will automatically push your chest out. And this reminds me of that feeling of a gorilla clobbering it’s chest. It’s really something that gives you the best possible posture for walking and standing up. Your back will be straight and this is also healthy for your spine.

3. When you are sitting down try to take up as much space as possible. For women it’s acceptable to cross their legs but for men it’s not recommended. So when you are in a public place…say at a fancy lounge, chances are they will have sofa’s. Sit down in the middle of the sofa stretch out your arms over the back and spread your legs like you own the place. This sends a very loud and clear message of your alpha male status.

Lastly Tracey Cox is her many books on body language states the most common mistake people make in dating situations is trying to read the other person’s body language. You should instead focus on the body language signals you are sending. This is the one thing you have completely control over. So don’t forget this fundamental lesson. Focus on your own body language and your non-verbal communication will increase in impact.

Research has shown that 60% of communication is non-verbal. Another 33% is voice tone. And only seven percent, that’s 7% is the actual words we speak. And when you realise how superior women are to ready body language. As a guy this is a crucial area for all men to improve.