A friend of mine Jess Miller wrote a book called “We’re all in this together“. In the book he spoke about Stress, Tension, Loneliness and Depression (STLD). I have been trough two serious bouts of depression first in at the end of 1999 and into 2000 and then to a lesser extend in 2001. These days the depression is mild but I feel it from time to time. My thoughts are like those thoughts I had back then. Life is to much, everything is so complicated, I wish I could start all over again. It is in such times turning to God is much better then any therapist. Talking to God, talking to yourself, healing yourself. For some people this can seem self-centres but Jess told me once if I didn’t look after myself, FIRST, I wouldn’t be able to look out for or after my loved ones i.e. my mother, my sister, my brother and my father. The world we live is interactive, it is also interdependant. We cannot isolate ourselves like the ancient masters. When Buddha left his kingdom and meditated for so many years under the Bodi Trea it was a enourmous act of self-sacrifice. Many people depended on him but he let go of everything. So I think to myself, Ramon, are you read to let go of everything yet? And the answer is always “not yet”. So when I discovered the real issue is not letting go but rather letting things happen without trying to control and with trying to stop them, or bypass them, I realised there is still hope. Hope of a better future, hope of new found love, hope of making a difference and contributing to humanity as a creative benefactor. But before there is hope you have to start with desire. The desire to change for the better.