Review of Men Are Clams, Woman Are Crowbars by Dr David Clarke, Ph.D.

When I picked up this book I wanted to learn more about these differences between men and women that I find fascinating in a never ending sort of way. And the analogy works well in the book explaining how men and women communicate and deal with stress in their relationships. What I did not expect was the typical “holier than though” attitude so typical of conservative Christian writers. And this spoils a book with some good practical advice. Overall this book must be aimed at a very small market of people and because of the bias of the author may be unappealing to everyone else. The last thing you want in a self-help book is a preaching tone.

As Dr John Demartini says, the moment you become infatuated with a person or subject yourself to an authority figure e.g. The Pope or Jesus Christ you import their values onto your own and this becomes a miserable failure.

The other disappointing thing about this book is that it almost exclusively focussed on couples in a marriage. And I don’t know if this Christian psychologist, as David Clarke, calls himself, lives in the real world. Expecting people to stay married, forever and ever. Dynamics in the world has changed, so there are a lot more unmarried people then ever before. People who could be married, but don’t for very valid and practical reasons. I also agree with the views of the radical American talk radio DJ, Tom Leykis, there is no benefit for a man, as it stands legally getting married. If you are curious just do a search for “Leykis 101” and you will get an education in manhood you may have missed out on.

This book is written mostly for women, and offers very little help for men. And I suppose that’s always been the target market of the author. Even as a man, I really do not appreciate his tone, talking down, toward men. So this author is what they call pussy whipped.

• You can purchase Men are Clams, Women are Crowbars from Take2

Popularity: 16% [?]

The first chapter of Make Every Man Want You: How to be so damn irresistible you’ll barely keep from dating yourself, is a revised edition of a previous ebook by Marie Forleo. The book title alone is more irresistible then most books of this nature.and suggests a very upbeat author. Yes, Marie happens to be a life coach, dance instructor and choreographer for MTV, VH1 and so forth.

Her writing style is really sharp, crystal clear, to the point, no B.S. that I wish more self-help authors would embrace. Don’t go around the long (wrong) way when you can cut through the forest and get to the other side quicker, and with more learning.

The first chapter, Irresistibility 101, reads like sage advice from the Tao Te Ching. Most adults, men and women, seem to loose the child-like-ness when we grow up. And being like a child is sometimes irresistible. Just think about how some children can just get what they want, or how they can get out of trouble by being cute, cuddly and of course irresistible. There is a lesson here to be learned. Let go and be in the now is the sage advice also found in Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now.

One thing I like about Marie is how direct she is in her advice. And one thing I’ve heard her say in a previous interview and I fully agree with, and emphasise in my own discussions of relationships is this: You are likely operating on false information. For me one of the greatest sources of dating/relationship problems stems from divorced parents. In my own situation my mother and father divorced when I was maybe two years old. My dad remarried and my mother had a long term relationship. My dad’s 2nd wife passed away and his been alone since; while my mother’s long term relationship ended when she got pregnant with my sister. After years of frustration I just realised these two are NOT good role models for how to create and maintain, sustain a healthy, loving and fun long term relationship with a woman.

The “Time-Tested Truths” from Chapter 3 almost read like the Four Noble Truths in Buddhism. Just kidding they are solid and I’m listing them here to let them speak for themselves:

1. A Relationship Will Not Save You
2. Relationships Are Spiritual Opportunities, Not a Needs Exchange
3. Life Is Now: This Is It!
4. Men Are As-Is Merchandise or Love ‘Em or Leave ‘Em, Baby!
5. If You Want Guarantees In Love, You Don’t Want Love

In the next chapter one of the most honest, and funniest lines I’ve ever read in a book like this, and said by a woman: “Here’s a tip: If you think you look fat in a particular outfit, you probably do. This whole chapter is the perfect blue print for a woman to know what NOT to do. And Marie’s chapter titles are as spunky and funny as the book title.

All in all there are plenty of gems in this book. And will become my bible for advice to the female species So many books go on and on without getting to the point. Marie just knows how to make the point with enough irresistibility you can’t put this book down once you start reading it. I have female friend, Leonora or Leo for short who does all these things without knowing it. She is a magnet for irresistible attention from men. And has some amazing girlfriends. So unlike those really attractive women who are hated by others, Leo is able to project her irresistible nature to the world. And therefore draws constant attention which she directs which ever way suits her best. And the outcome or result? Well happiness or rather inner joy. Because I learned a while ago that happiness is what you expect other people to “give” you but joy is what you have inside. And nobody can take that away from you.

Popularity: 11% [?]

There’s no way around it: dating today is tough. And once you have a few bad experiences under your belt, old habits set in, undermining self-esteem and the confidence to plunge back into the dating scene. The authors of Why You’re Still Single seek to remedy these dating doldrums, attacking the problem from the male and female perspective, helpful suggestions on turning negatives into positive, mutually reinforcing attributes.

For example: Listen to your feelings; trust your intuition and don’t be blinded by your desire for a relationship before you vet the emotional availability and responses of the other person. That person cannot fulfill all your emotional needs and shouldn’t be expected to bear that burden. Take a reading of the other person’s availability and emotional maturity and don’t expect to change them as time goes on.

This well-plotted guide attempts to dissect the common stereotypical negatives and reframe them into positive, action-oriented approaches, each chapter dealing with particular obstacles, the male and female responses to overcoming common problems in a manner that is empowering and personally instructive. But it is your journey in the end.

Linda Holmes is Paula Abdul to Evan Marc Katz’s Simon Cowell. Paula, er, Linda tempers every blunt statement of Evan’s, phrasing her comments into female-friendly advice that is relatable, even to the most stubborn lady. This isn’t a competition; it’s a journey, one that offers many helpful lessons sans defenses. Both authors, male and female, perceive the obstacles, the Venus and Mars approach, writing with an eye to solutions.

Each issue is discussed conversationally in the contemporary rhetoric of today’s dating scene. Clearly, these are commonsense approaches, a little help sorting through the baggage of old behavior. The remarks may be couched in yin and yang, but the intent is the same, a fresh look at the dating scene, armed with the tools for a successful endeavor.

The topics are spicy: The Desperation Tango, Women Who Hate Men Who Hate Women, Everything You Say Can and Will Be Used against You, Good Girls Don’t and Deal Breakers, to name but a few. Plainspoken and to the point, the guide is simple, practical, and above all, positive, the message invaluable, not to mention entertaining.

Other worthwhile suggestions: Desperation is a recipe for failure - don’t set a wedding date the first time you meet him; Don’t generalize - “all men are dogs.” Treat each new date as an individual, not a means to an end. Insecurity is unattractive; instead, learn to know and love yourself to attract a like-minded person (we attract what we are). And don’t mistake emotional clutter for emotional complexity! Too tall an order? Not if you are stuck in a rut with no end in sight. There are enough small gems in these pages to reinvigorate even the most pitiful dating repertoire. It’s all in the perspective.

• Purchase Why You’re Still Single from Kalahari.net

Originally published on Curled Up With A Good Book © Luan Gaines, 2006.

Also checkout the official Why You’re Still Single website.

Popularity: 13% [?]

Ancient Wisdom for Modern Men

“The Way of the Superior Man” is a revolutionary new look at the challenges facing the contemporary male. David Deida encourages men to live a full life and to find their deepest purpose so they can give their deepest gifts to the world. After reading this book your view of the world might change.

You will hear new meanings in songs, view your sexual relationship with much more insight and start to unravel the tangled web of life. Suddenly spirituality and sexuality merge into an ecstatic experience.

This is more about living the poetic life than being trapped and tangled in a web of your own making. It is about breaking free and overcoming the challenges of human existence. This book mainly focuses on how men deal with their career/life purpose and women. As a woman, you might be surprised when you discover which one men find to be the most important.

If you are a woman, presently living with a man who has lost his “deepest purpose,” then this book will explain why a man’s view of his “purpose” can make life heaven or hell. After reading this book you will see why it is of ultimate importance even in an unpredictable world. I agree with the author completely on this issue. A man cannot love a woman fully unless he is happy with who he is and where he is going.

If you are a man living with a woman who is not filled with sexual energy and vitality and who seems depressed, edgy and not that interested in sex, then this book gives insight into the mysteries of a woman’s heart and soul. It explains what turns a woman on in the depths of her being and how a man can take her into the realm of sexual ecstasy.

Not only does David Deida unravel the mysteries of women, he has a profound and ancient knowledge of how men function on their deepest levels. He answers so many questions, I truly felt more enlightened in regards to relationship and life issues.

• What is a man’s highest priority?
• When should you start to enjoy your life? Is the time now?
• Are you willing to do what it takes to stay on the edge?
• How can fear become your friend?
• Why you should allow yourself time to discover “the unknowing.”
• How a period of unknowingness can lead to knowing your purpose.
• What makes a man more attractive to a woman?
• Why do women love it when a man takes charge on a date?
• Why do women refuse to surrender? What does surrender really mean?
• Is she just a woman to you? Or do you want to change her?

David talks about not changing a woman, but loving her. This is so true. I also believe a woman is like a flower who can be encouraged to bloom more fully under the care of a loving man. Whether than means he has to use humor or spend more time during sex, it all counts.

I can imagine David Deida singing: “She’s Always a Woman to Me” although I think he’d change the words because he seems to know the secrets to getting back to the garden of Eden. Women want a man who is sensitive, spontaneous and spiritually alive. A man who can lead a woman into deep intimacy is unimaginably sexy.

If the man she is with is not helping a her to “bloom,” she will either wither, find inner strength or find another man to lead her to sexual ecstasy. I do think some of his explanations about sex border on “orgasm as a tool to attaining enlightenment.”

The type of sex he seems to be talking about is “sacred sex” and is superior to ordinary sex because he describes men achieving an almost oneness with God through having sex with a woman. This seems to be more in line with “Tantra” which has its roots in Tibetan Buddhist spirituality.

While ordinary sex is more mechanical and still pleasurable, he is talking about a rapturous spiritual experience in which the body, mind, heart and soul experience bliss. It is called “divine ecstasy” where the boundaries and ego dissolve. Tantric Sex includes long periods of total devotion and could involve sacred rituals, so you may or may not wish to participate in the more “spiritual” aspects depending on you religion. You almost need to go away for the weekend to find the time.

So, when David talks about spending three hours with your lover, he isn’t kidding. While many philosophies focus on the denial of our senses, this book encourages the full engagement of all the senses. There is an awareness of Tantric Sex, but no deep explanations.

David Deida does show a deep understanding of Tantra in general as he seems to embrace life with a deep spiritual understanding and seems to see living as an ancient art in which you live in harmony with existence.

I think the main goal in this book is to encourage men to see that they can control their lives and that in fact, women want them to be in control. Confidence is of course very sexy. This book is especially for men with a masculine sexual essence who want to deepen their life experience with a lover who has a very feminine sexual essence.

I have found all of David Deida’s books to be intellectually appealing and also sexy on a primal level. I think you can decide what you want to add to your life and there is so much truth in regards to the male/female interaction as a dance or a game. Love becomes the ultimate pleasure. Life becomes a path into an open sky.

Also Highly Recommended (especially for women):

• Dear Lover: A Woman’s Guide to Enjoying Love’s Deepest Bliss by David Deida
• ~TheRebeccaReview.com, Author of Moonbeam Moths
• Remember if you’re in South Africa buy The Way of the Superior Man from Kalahari.net
• More about David Deida from his official portal website…

Popularity: 11% [?]

It’s Saturday night. You’re home, on your third glass of wine, staring hopelessly into a pint of cookie dough ice cream, wishing that something (anything!) would numb this post-breakup pain. Betcha feel like the saddest girl in the world, huh? But just think how much sadder things would be if you were back with your ex ?- a guy who is so unworthy of your greatness. Says who, you ask? Says Greg Behrendt, coauthor of last year’s hit He’s Just Not That into You, and his wife, Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt. In their new book, It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: A Smart Girl’s Breakup Buddy, they show you why you absolutely must put down that tub of Häagen-Dazs and pick up the phone. No, not to call him. To call your friends. Yes, these are the good people who are going to help you get over your heartache and get back in the game.You may not have him, but you have something far more valuable right now ?- your friends. “Great. And my health, right? Oh, I’m so lucky.” We know it sounds corny, but having good friends to call on will get you through the heartbreak you’re feeling more quickly than you thought. Their love and companionship can be a beacon during your darkest hours ?- but believe us when we say that those beacons can go out. You want to take care of your friendships during this time, even as they are taking care of you. When you’re on the other side, there’s nothing worse than ending the relentless chatter of the breakup-obsessed friend who doesn’t listen to your or take your advice. Here’s the thing to remember about your friends: They want you to be happy. They want you to be a in a good, loving, and healthy relationship that inspires you to be the best you can be, not one that is difficult and painful. What’s more, your friends can see your ex and your relationship for what it was ?- warts and all ?- and they probably aren’t buying the rewritten version of the perfect love that you’re pining over.

Six months from now, when you are in a completely different emotional space (if not already in a better relationship), you’ll want to look back on this time and feel good about the way you behaved with the people around you. You won’t want visions of Lily Taylor singing “Joe Lies” and bumming out everyone at the party while her friends exchange uncomfortable glances. (If you haven’t seen Cameron Crowe’s film Say Anything, run, don’t walk, to the video store. But don’t wait for your ex to show up on your lawn with a boom box ?- it’s just a movie.)

We know… your friends are always supposed to be there, but for the love of God, give them a break and stop talking about your ex for one minute! We all have those tapes that play in our head ?- what are they called? Oh yeah, thoughts. But some of them are meant just for you. You don’t have to share every single one of them. In fact, stop listening to yourself! If you pay attention to your negative thoughts, you’re only affirming their validity. Those thoughts are like a bratty child ?- if you pay attention to the bad behavior, it only encourages a bigger tantrum. We say this with the greatest measure of love and empathy, but take a step back and try to understand why you need to make a conscious effort not to subject your friends to endless questions, endless tears, and endless analysis during this time. It’s one thing to get dumped by a guy, but it’s another to get dumped by your friends, because they won’t even have breakup sex with you.

You’re great and your friends all know it. They’re on call, ready and wiling to help you get over that loser who wasn’t right for you. However, right now you are stuck in the Melancholy Vortex of your breakup. It’s an uber-powerful trap that sucks you in and blinds you to all the bad, unhealthy, crapola times that were so glaring in your relationship, and it only plays back loops of the best moments, thus obliterating your sense of why it didn’t work out. It’s like A Clockwork Orange. You’re figuratively stuck in that chair with your eyes held open by those weird eyelash-curler contraptions while movies of the two of you in your happiest times flash through your brain to classical music or Coldplay. Your friends, on the other hand, are saying, “Hey there, Hot, Smart, Happening Lady, why don’t you stop strapping yourself into that chair and come sit with us?” And the reality of it is that if you don’t start actually listening to them and taking their advice, your friends will tire of you. Open your mind to what they have to say, and whatever you do, DON’T blame them for pointing out your ex’s less-than-admirable qualities, or trying to give you a reality check about your less-than-perfect relationship. That’s what they’re there for ?- to help you get up out of that chair and start moving on. In return, you need to set a time limit on how long you’re going to dwell on the past. Try setting the limit at eight weeks. If after eights weeks you still need to talk about it constantly, seek professional help and let your friends off the hook. Or talk to your dog. All the dog hears is “blah, blah, blah…” which ?- take it from us ?- is what you are starting to sound like to your friends.

But what if my friends are wrong?
Q: Dear Greg,
My boyfriend and I broke up three months ago after being together for almost four years. Even though it was a mutual decision, I’m wondering if it was the right one. My friends all think I need to get on with my life because I’ve spend my whole adult life with him (I’m three years out of college, which is where we met). They say I’ve been living in a vacuum and they’re sick of hearing about it and never really liked him that much anyway. But the more I dissect it with them, the more I think they’re wrong and just tired of hearing about it. What do you think?

Tamara

A: Dear Tamara Never Comes,
Here’s the thing people forget: You are also in a relationship with your friends. These relationships will ultimately prove to be more profound that the one you just came out of, and right now, they are certainly more important. Your friends want what’s best for you, and you need to recognize that they’ve been living through your relationship for as long as you have, because friends care about and share in each other’s lives. So accept their opinions and move on. Not only should you trust your own instincts that getting out of the relationship was the right move, but the fact that your friends are backing your decision should only make you feel better about it. You should also trust your instinct when it tells you your friends are sick of hearing about your breakup. Give it a rest and take advantage of the other great things that good friends have to offer: fun, laughter, clothes to borrow, and best of all, activities that have nothing to do with your ex.

Excerpt from It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Breakup Buddy, © 2005 by Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola Behrendt. Used with permission from Broadway Books, an imprint of Random House.

Popularity: 7% [?]

Watching two people flirt is kind of like watching a car wreck. There’s all the discomfort, the unmistakable fear and the inability, for the life of you, to look away. But that’s until you learn the tricks of the trade, according to dating (and sex) expert Tracey Cox.

Review by Faraaz Mahomed…

‘Superflirt’ is one of Ms. Cox’s brand of in-your-face, brutally open, books that aims to make anyone instantly appealing. With an emphasis on body language and unspoken signals, the book delves into the murky underworld that is the mind of the single guy or girl on the prowl. And murky it certainly is. Devious even. Which is exactly why, argues Cox, anyone looking to arrive single and leave attached needs a well-orchestrated plan of attack.

From the section on the ‘Ten second turn-on’ to the illustrated guides on the correct way to stand, sit and do pretty much anything else, those of us who find such ‘advice’ slightly difficult to stomach may find reason to object to the book’s over-the-top promises. But anything’s worth a try. Right?

Courtesy of this self-styled guru, the reader is invited to unlock the mystery behind every look, every gesture and every carefully-planned expression of interest. The author shows us just how elaborate one can be when flirting and just how clueless some of us really are. The slightest touch is often momentously significant. So too, is the coquettish smile or the confident stride. I can just feel the light bulbs going off everywhere.

So not only should you know where to put this and when to do that but what about being able to tell if it’s working? The book is particularly useful if you’re interested in knowing how to tell if your prey is up for it or not. It even has a section called, “Help, it doesn’t seem to be working! Are they interested or aren’t they?” Maybe not the most convincing advertisement, but nothing’s foolproof. At least she admits it.

There are also tips on chatting a prospective partner up and the all-important sex chapter. As with everything else, Cox seems to be privy to a wealth of hitherto undisclosed information. The sex signals are mesmerisingly accurate and almost irritatingly revealing. I guess some of us will have to find some new tricks.

Cox has a background in psychology and it shows. The reader is navigated not simply through the signals but, also, the intentions behind them. And she has countless anecdotal stories to back her up. Beware though. For someone who has all the answers, she seems to have been around the block and then some. Look a little closer, and you’ll find that Cox is ‘happily settled’, whatever that means. Perhaps, then, there’s no one better to share some secrets. Either way, there’s no doubting her worldwide success. ‘Superflirt’ may not be everyone’s cup of tea (forgive the heinous cliché) but it is, at worst, an entertaining read about a topic where some of us will need all the help we can get. Stylish and creative, anyone would be taken in by the book’s appearance and swept away by its promises.

‘Superflirt’ by Tracey Cox Published by Dorling Kindersley

• Buy Superflirt from Kalahari.net if you’re in South Africa
• Buy Superflirt from Amazon.com

Popularity: 15% [?]

I Can’t Believe I’m Buying This Book! A commonsense guide to Successful Internet Dating.’ by Evan Marc Katz From a 31-year-old Internet Dating Consultant, this guide comes as a surprisingly simple and extremely entertaining companion for beginners and advanced Internet Daters. It has the unthreatening feel of an anthology of anecdotes and humorous tales designed to encourage even the most reluctant reader to open their hearts and minds to a new world of Online Dating.The book starts off detailing the fears one may have when trying something many still consider fairly taboo. Online dating has, however, entered the mainstream, and in a big way. Katz does his utmost to comfort the hesitant sceptics and initiate all into this not-so-perilous world. He lists several sites and the basic requirements one must fulfil before joining and finding Mr. or Ms. Right. Every minute aspect of joining the Online Dating phenomenon is addressed honestly and with the reader’s ease in mind.

Katz is extremely open about the pitfalls of Online Dating and encourages his audience to have realistic expectations, pointing out, “Joining an Online Dating service is like joining a gym. You don’t lose weight simply by signing up. You have to make a concerted effort.” That’s where this book comes in. It’ll give you tips on writing a mega-profile. Just read Katz’s own intro: “Funny Guy with Killer Body and Money to Burn seeks Woman who Doesn’t Believe Everything She Reads.” Try the Dictionary for Online Personal Ads and you’ll find that a woman who calls herself a ‘Poet’ is simply a ‘Depressive Schizophrenic’ and a man who advertises himself as ‘Very good looking’ is really ‘Dumb as a Board’. Sound Familiar?

The book deals specifically with Internet Dating but would be highly useful for anyone wanting some advice on relationships in general. Katz offers truthful observations about the difficulty of finding a suitable partner and about making yourself more attractive. He lists basic Dos and Don’ts for everyone looking for that special someone or for a casual fling or friendship. It all comes down to the same principles of honesty and creativity. He says of pictures, “Put up only good pictures. (As long as they look like you).” I never would have thought of that.

Katz talks about the inevitable meeting and even encourages multiple in-person dates. He is especially frank when he talks about the seemingly inter-planetary man/woman divide. It would take more than a book for some of us to decipher the opposite sex but it’s a start.

Gay couples aren’t really addressed in this book and that may put a damper on it for some. The other major downside is that it is primarily focused on the North American market, meaning South African online dating websites aren’t assessed in the ‘Eenie, Meenie, Minie, Moe’ section. Still, there are universal elements being covered that transcend gender and geography so these may only be minor setbacks.

‘I can’t believe I’m buying this book’ will leave you with a lot to think about whether you’re just starting out or looking to increase your charm. Funny and insightful, one is left unsurprised that the book was written by someone who has been on both sides of the Internet Dating business. I can’t believe you wouldn’t give it a read.

‘I can’t believe I’m buying this book! A commonsense guide to Successful Internet Dating.’ by Evan Marc Katz published by Ten Speed Press

• Buy I Can’t Believe I’m Buying This Book: A Common Sense Guide To Internet Dating from Kalahari.net
• Download a FREE ebook by Evan Marc Katz
• Watch Evan Marc Katz being interviewed by Kyra Phillips on CNN Live

Popularity: 12% [?]

The Shocking TRUE Story Of How A Bald, Skinny, 5 Foot 6 NERD Became The World’s Greatest Pick-Up Artist

If you’re a guy who has ever been curious about what it takes to seduce women in the real world (as opposed to the watered-down ideas Hollywood would have you believe actually work), or a woman who wondered how real-life “players” really operate, then there is a new book hitting the shelves this week that you absolutely MUST read.

Two years ago, Neil Strauss — Rolling Stone writer and New York Times best-selling biographer of Jenna Jameson and Mötley Crüe — took what he calls “a journey into one of the oddest and most exciting underground communities that, in more than a dozen years of journalism, I have ever come across.”

What followed was a bizarre descent into a world-wide underground subculture where brotherhoods of men, brought together by the internet, congregate and study how to meet, attract, and ultimately bed women. This is an underworld shaded from the public view, filled with colorful characters that have to be seen to be believed.

There’s the manic-depressive professional illusionist who moonlights as a personal seduction coach, taking men to clubs at rates of over $1000 a night. There’s the forty-year old failed comedian who hypnotizes women into sleeping with him. There’s the former Real Estate broker who built a financial empire teaching men how to get dates. There’s the two college drop-outs inspired by the movie Fight Club who travel the world creating cults designed to seduce women. And then there’s Neil Strauss himself.

As a single male with little personal success with women, Strauss was intrigued by the teachings and colorful personalities in this seduction community. And as a reporter, he wanted to meet these men and find out what made them tick. But as he got sucked deeper and deeper into this subculture and taken under the wings of all its leaders as part of their elite inner-circle, Strauss ceased to be a mere observer and actually became one of its superstars.

Before long, Strauss found himself at the center of this secret society. Looked up to by desperate men wanting to learn his secrets, seen as an equal among its best teachers, and widely regarded as one of the biggest innovators in the techniques the community had been created to pioneer, Strauss was no longer documenting the story of this community — he had suddenly become the story.

In his new book, “THE GAME: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pick-up Artists,” Strauss for the first time takes center stage in one of his books as he finds himself at the epicenter of a real-life drama rife with massive egos, shocking betrayals, and cut-throat business rivalries. He soon discovers that what he has entered into has ceased to be about becoming more successful with women, and suddenly become a struggle for his very soul. And probably the most incredible aspect of THE GAME is that…

Every single word of it is TRUE.

At turns outrageous, hilarious, and upsetting, but always compelling, THE GAME is the first book to venture into this uncharted (and widely unknown) terrain of sexual politics. Men will study it to learn its secret techniques. Women will flock to it to learn how guys think. But no matter what, everyone will enjoy reading this amazing story.

Here’s what others are saying about THE GAME:

“This book on the Secret Society of Pickup Artists is one of the great surprises you will get from reading a work of non-fiction; no matter how high your expectations are, they will be surpassed by his insight, wit, and clever word-craft.

The greatest gift you will get from your time penetrating the game will be to spend several hours in the company of one of America’s truly great working writers. You will put this book down after turning the last page and you will feel within yourself that (because of this book) you have become a better person. The man will make you understand that your only limitations are in your own mind.” – Clint Arthur

“This book is about how an average guy turns into a better man. It’s what every guy wants. After all, what guy hasn’t wished that he could have more CHOICE with women- because that’s what we’re talking about here. That’s what it’s really about.” –Blake Richards

“His book is fascinating and very true; I strongly recommend it to those guys who mistakenly think they cannot have any woman they want. Neil is a true example of it. While reading it, pay attention to his personality; that’s the strongest card he plays and the only one that really matters after all.” –Ivan Alvarado

“I can’t put it down-already on Chapter 5–Wow! The guys are reading it and the women better read it too.” –Sandy

“The book is hilarious, but what really makes it powerful is that it is a tale of self-improvement. Once you get past the lingo, lines, and gimmicks, it’s really about an average guy learning to be more confident with himself and women.” –S. Marc

“Just finished this book, couldn’t put it down. This is an amazing story of a few men, who decided to take their lives and desires in their own hands. Strauss holds nothing back and provides a candid exploration into the psyche of a few guys, who went from being regular average guys to being with some of the most attractive women around…” — Neeraj Bansal

“This is, bar-none, one of the most complete and entertaining guides on the subject of seduction I have ever seen. In fact, I’d rate it up there along side Robert Greene’s classic, The Art Of Seduction. This is a must own book.” –Joseph Matthews

• If you live in South Africa you can purchase The Game by Neil Strauss from Kalahari.net

Popularity: 11% [?]

Supersex, published in 2002 is the first in a new series of books by Tracey Cox, who visited South Africa last December on a whirlwind tour to promote her latest book, Superdate.To those of you less familiar with this sexy lass, she is described as one of the world’s foremost writers on sex and relationship. All the books under her belt as well as numerous TV appearances and writing columns in newspapers and magazines. Yes, “let’s talk about sexy baby, let’s talk about you and me” as the song by TLC said. Firstly this is a book that all men should read. Not because of the great and explicitly pictures of nakes women (and naked men) but because it gives you great insight into how to please a women sexually. Obviously Tracey Cox, being a woman herself places a little bias on how to please the woman. But my personal experience has taught me that she is spot on. Most men have no idea how to please a women sexually. Dr Robert W. Birch, a retired marital and sex therapist, says that only 30% of women have an orgasm during intercourse and as much as 15% of the female population have never experienced an orgasm!

And as a man I can safely say that men are so easy to please. Come (sic) to think of it we only have to be touched, sucked, stroked and wham, bam, thank you m’am! So how where do we begin? Well first step is to learn how to please your partner. Tracey Cox advises us here on how to touch a naked man or woman. Then we move onto teasing, and here we go into bit more specifics about “telling if he’d be great in bed”, “single vs couple sex”, toyboys, kissing and more.

The chapter entitled Moanzone was my personal favourite. In this section we learn how to give oral sex. It is really important that men realise that most women will only climax when they receive oral sex (or using a vibrator). Now you choose. I would rather give oral sex then have my woman use a vibrator after I’ve climaxed because I believe in giving and receiving pleasure.

All in all reading this book contains a lot of great practical advice. This will satisfy your instant gratification needs. Next step is to persuade your partner to try some of these meneuveres with you. As Jim Carrey says in the Truman Show, “If I don’t see you, good afternoon, good evening and good night.” And I’ll add, “Good sex!”

Tracey Cox is one of the world’s foremost writers on sex and relationships and is also a TV presenter. As well as starring in the UK series of Would Like to Meet, Tracey is also starring in the US version of the show, renamed Date Patrol. Her brand-new show, Under One Roof, airs later this year on ITV, when Tracey turns her hand to solving all the problems living together can cause.

Tracey has a psychology degree and is a regular columnist for The Sunday Times. She also writes a weekly column in Closer magazine. Her books Hot Sex, Hot Relationships and Supersex are international bestsellers and her latest book, Superflirt is due to be published in November. Tracey was born in the UK but spent many years in Australia where she edited Cosmopolitan magazine.

Visit Tracey Cox official website

Popularity: 25% [?]

Why do we have sex? One of the main biological reasons, contends Ridley, is to combat disease. By constantly combining and recombining genes every generation, people “keep their genes one step ahead of their parasites,” thereby strengthening resistance to bacteria and viruses that cause deadly diseases or epidemics.

- Constance Rinaldo, Dartmouth Coll., Hanover, N.H.

Called the “Red Queen Theory” by biologists after the chess piece in Lewis Carroll’s Through the Looking-Glass which runs but stays in the same place, this hypothesis is just one of the controversial ideas put forth in this witty, elegantly written inquiry. Ridley, a London-based science writer and a former editor of the Economist , argues that men are polygamous for the obvious reason that whichever gender has to spend the most time and energy creating and rearing offspring tends to avoid extra mating. Women, though far less interested in multiple partners, will commit adultery if stuck with a mediocre mate. In Ridley’s not wholly convincing conclusion, even human intellect is chalked up to sex: virtuosity, individuality, inventiveness and related traits are what make people sexually attractive.

From Library Journal This is a fascinating book filled with lucid prose and seductive reasoning. Freelance science writer Ridley reaches into the literature of genetics; molecular, theoretical and evolutionary biology; ecology; sociology; and anthropology to weave an extraordinary tale of the evolution of human nature, beginning with the evolution of sex. Using Lewis Carroll’s Red Queen (who runs as fast as she can to stay in the same place) as a metaphor for evolution, Ridley shows how sex was the result of an evolutionary arms race between hosts and their disease-causing parasites. Ridley covers so much ground that transitions may be abrupt or unclear, particularly in the last two chapters; also, his review of human homosexuality is thin. His occasionally pompous style (including his immediate dismissal of those who do not believe in evolution) may offend some readers. However, Ridley clearly explains many complex and remarkable concepts for a wide audience. Highly recommended.

• Buy The Red Queen by Matt Ridley from Kalahari.net if you live in South Africa
  
• Buy Red Queen by Matt Ridley from Amazon.com

Popularity: 11% [?]