JACK TRUE ON TIME AND SPACE – AN INTERVIEW

by Ramon Thomas in Interviews on 0909/030303/2011201120112011 • 1 Comment • , ,

Another excellent interview between journalist Jon Rappoport and hypnotherapist Jack True: In this conversation, from 1990, hypnotherapist Jack True discusses the space-time continuum.

Q (Rappoport): How does hypnotic trance relate to space-time?

A(Jack True): That’s a question I’ve looked into for years. First of all, all trances are not equal. I have my own way of putting people into a light trance, which isn’t deep enough for suggestions to have any effect. It’s about getting a patient into a place where he is able to focus clearly without any distractions. But there is something else, too. In this state of mind, he’s not tied so closely to physical reality. He’s aware of it, but he’s floating. He’s a bit removed from its influence. He’s not so much a slave to it. He’s, you could say, in a different space, and a different time.

Q: He’s in a dream state?

A: Not quite. More like a pre-dream state, just before a dream begins.

Q: Does this have something to do with why sleep is so important?

A: Well, sleep is necessary for several reasons. But in this sense, it’s important because the shackles that tie a person to physical-reality space and time are unhooked. He can go elsewhere.

Q: And why does that matter?

A: Because the space-time continuum is just one reality. And at some level, a human being knows this. That’s the point, you see. He knows this. And he doesn’t want to stay glued to that one reality. Why should he? There are lots of other places to go. And those places, in certain respects, are far more interesting and fulfilling.

Q: You keep coming back to this theme.

A: I have to. It’s central. Desire precedes reality.

Q: That’s an interesting way to put it.

A: It’s accurate. So if a person becomes all wound up in this continuum-which of course he does-than he loses sight of what? Desire. Because it seems then that reality defines what can be legitimately desired. Everything is backwards. Desire becomes diluted and blunted. And that’s when people lose power.

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POWER–AN INTERVIEW WITH JACK TRUE

by Ramon Thomas in Interviews on 2828/020202/2011201120112011 • No Comments • , , , ,

From the Jon Rapport Newsletter…

This interview took place in the fall of 1988. As you can tell, if you’ve been reading the prior interviews, Jack and I tended to jump from one theme to another. Part of the reason was we’d already covered so much ground together, we could anticipate where things were heading.

Q (Rappoport): In all our conversations, we always seem to come around to the subject of imagination.

A (Jack True): Well, you convinced me, finally, it was of the greatest importance. I was always working with it, but I needed to think more about the wider implications.

Q: Such as imagination creates reality?

A: Yes. So there are an infinite number of possible realities. That perspective gives you a different view of the world.

Q: In your work, do you ever approach the issue of power directly?

A: Early in my career, I tried that, but it didn’t work.

Q: Why not?

A: Because my patients were shy about that or afraid.

Q: Even under hypnosis?

A: Yes.

Q: That’s interesting.

A: I thought so. It taught me something. People tend to have a taboo about the whole thing. They go through all sorts of contortions about power. I could see that clearly.

Q: What kind of contortions?

A: Well, it’s like pin the tail on the donkey or musical chairs. Where you put power. To whom or what do you attribute it? See, people know power exists. But it’s not something they admit they want. So they go around in a very circuitous route to pin it somewhere else. The sky has power. Wind has power. The Earth has power.

Q: In recent culture, the word power has taken on a distinctly negative meaning. It’s been conclusively associated with corruption, oppression, and criminal activity.

A: Pop psychology gives the word a slightly different twist, as in “personal power.” The context is often “taking back your power,” which assumes that, somewhere along the line, someone else had control over you-and now you’re recapturing it. But at best, this diluted vision implies that, from now on, you’ll be be able to make your own decisions. That’s pretty weak.

Q: Power means you can DO. It means you are able. From a Latin root.

A: Let’s go far out. Suppose you want to do something that is thought to be impossible? Suppose you want to read a person’s thoughts from ten miles away? Or you want to move an object on your desk with your mind? Suppose you want to levitate. There is a general consensus that these paranormal feats of power are impossible. In fact, the consensus weaves together with the fabric of the space-time continuum. One aspect is dependent on the other. Consider the image of two mirrors standing across from each other. The reflections bounce back and forth. One feeds the other. In the same way, the general consensus that levitation is impossible nourishes the “rule of the physical continuum” which states that unaided human levitation is verboten. Let’s shift the focus. Let’s say there is a manuscript in a museum. It has been dated at 4300 BC. For over a century, scholars, linguists, and cryptologists have tried to understand the rows of symbols-and they have utterly failed. They haven’t made a single inroad. Now you look at it. You stand in front of it and look at it for an hour. Do you think your imagination will swing into gear? Damn right it will. You’ll start imagining all sorts of “paranormal” possibilities-even though you can’t name them or describe them. Your imagination will go to places that aren’t pedestrian. This is what happens with a mystery. The mind, the imagination begins to write script, and the script is about realities that are beyond what we ordinarily think about. The imagination is waiting in the bushes, for an opportunity to come out and stretch and get beyond this humdrum continuum. That’s a natural tendency, which we keep under wraps.

Q: To understand power, you need imagination.

A: Otherwise, you just think about power in terms you already understand. You repeat yourself. You become bored.

Q: You use the word boredom a lot.

A: That’s because it’s the bottom line on the accounting book called Reality. That’s what you finally get to. Reality bores. Power is about exceeding reality. When you stop and think about it, why didn’t humans imbue their gods with no power at all? Why should gods have power at all? They could be farmers tilling the soil or stone masons. The gods have power because human imagination gives it to them. And that happens because humans need to imagine power somewhere. They’re afraid to give it to themselves, so they invent the gods. This is another deflection of the truth on to spaces where it’s “safe” to attribute power. The taboo is: we have power.

Q: In modern times, we have comic books and super-heroes. Superman. Batman. In ancient Greece, another super-hero,
Prometheus, stole fire from the gods and gave it to man. Fire is energy. Energy is a function of imagination. Prometheus stole awareness of creative power and gave it to humans. Power starts with imagining power.

A: But Superman doesn’t try to figure out a way to give his kind of power to humans. That never happens. Several years ago, I met with a man who was trying to start a school. He had this idea. He’d cram grades one through twelve into eight years, and the other four would be nothing but art. All day, all the time. Students doing art. All the arts.

Q: What happened?

A: He could never raise the money. People were afraid of what he was talking about. Immersion in the arts to the point where a reality shift would take place in the minds of the kids. I mean, that’s what he talked about, so his potential investors dried up. They disappeared into the fog. Art is about walking right up the ladder of power. An artist has power. Even if there is no consensus about that. Consensus is the last thing that happens.

Q: Energy is a function of imagination. We’ve talked about that before.

A: I’d liken it to a very dark night. You’re wandering around. You don’t know exactly where you are. Then you see a glint of light ahead. Suddenly, you feel an injection of energy. You feel it. THAT’S the way to get out. When you imagine something new, and you feel it, you get that shot of energy. It’s a potentially endless supply. The old nonsense about entropy [dissipating energy] is a wrong concept.

Q: Why not another kind of theory: there are multiple universes pouring energy and receiving energy from one another. The process just keeps going.

A: If there’s one thing we don’t have a lack of, it’s energy.

Q: So is that how you approach the issue of power with patients?

A: Energy through imagination. And when a person experiences enough energy, he begins to know he has power.

Q: In traditional alchemy, in their cross, the four ends represented the four elements of nature [earth, air, fire, water]. Where the two sticks meet, in the center-that’s called Quintessence. This the quality that can resolve the conflict among the four elements. The Quintessence is imagination.

A: It would be, because it is the thing that gets you beyond the four elements. It puts you out there beyond the inhibiting rules of nature. This whole resurrection of the nature religion that started in the 1960s-it was supposed to be about resolution and peace, but–

Q: The factor they left out of the equation was imagination. They substituted drugs for imagination.

A: I had a patient who, in a light trance, would invent dream after dream. That’s what I had him do. He must have fabricated fifty dreams altogether, over the over a period of a few months. In every one of those dreams, he put in a power source. Some god or entity that had great power. And then one day, he got a different kind of message. From the sheer invention of these dreams, he was getting a whole lot of energy. He was feeling that. Then it began to dawn on him that he had power. And from then on, the character of the dreams he invented was different. And in his life, he knew he had power.

source: JON RAPPOPORT

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15 Minutes with Ramon Thomas

by Ramon Thomas in Interviews on 2323/020202/2011201120112011 • 2 Comments • , , , , , , 
This interview was compiled for a weekly feature in the Daily Dispatch newspaper in East London:

Online behaviour expert Ramon Thomas talks to the Dispatch about technology and how it affects you. Profiles will appear at www.dispatch.co.za

Q: YOU describe yourself as being an online behaviour expert. What does that entail?
A: My field of research is the overlap between psychology, human behaviour and technology, especially the Internet.
It includes how we use the technology and how it changes our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual states.
New research from a book, iBrain, shows greater use of different parts of the brain, improved multi-tasking and the ability to process more information, faster, in the new generation called digital natives – basically people born post 1990.

Q: You’ve done a lot of research into online dating. Can you share some of your findings with us?
A: Recent reports claim online dating is growing by more than 300 percent in South Africa. Female users are growing at twice the rate of male users from what I’ve seen since 2005. The demographics have also changed to be more representative of the South Africa population as more black users turn to the Internet to find love.

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Algoa Sun interview with Ramon Thomas

by Ramon Thomas in Interviews on 1111/080808/2008200820082008 • 3 Comments • , , , ,

The following interview was published on page 8 of the 31 July 2008 issue of the Algoa Sun, a community newspaper in Port Elizabeth. The title for the article was fascinating choice by the editor, The Ethics of IT Dating. I will add a scanned copy of the interview with their own intro to this post later today…

Question: You say that children below the age of 13 should not have cell-phones for health reasons do you not think that in todays world all kids should have access to an adult in case something does go wrong?

Yes, kids should have access to adults. However, the access that is required has always been there. Before cellphones parents had a relationship and understanding with the schools they go to as to when and how they are dropped off and collected after school, from sporting events or when traveling with the school. When visiting friends, arrangements were made with the parents of the friends to look after your children as if they were your own. This is a fear-based myth that cellphones is the only or safest way to make kids safe. The more you buy into a fear mindset, the more you create a dependency on technology or anything outside yourself. So in a very warped way technology has made people more insecure than ever before.

Question: Do you have kids? If so, are they allowed MXit and Facebook?

No I do not have any children because I am not married. I would only allow my own children access for for a limited time per day or on weekends. I recently bumped into a guy who was at school with me, and he has one son in high school and one in primary school. He treats them like this: they only get access for 1 hour on Saturdays between 5-6pm. This is radical, yes, but he succeeded as father by setting the ground rules from day 1.

Question: Do you believe parents should be more “internet and cell-phone aware”?

Parents need to understand that the technology is growing and improving at a vast rate. The best way they can maintain some sense of confidence about the technology is to cultivate an open discussion on a regular (weekly) basis with their children about technology. This is much easier than you may think, simply because technology is so high on the values of children. What I mean is you cannot stop them talking about it when you ask the right questions.

Question: Do you believe the internet is a good way to meet people and start dating?

I have used Internet dating successfully because I have been so persistent and made a tremendous effort to educate myself about the best ways to write my online dating profile. After hundreds articles, books and interviews, and comparisons with other forms of dating and the psychology of attraction, I do not believe its the best way to meet people. You will always have some uncertainly about that elusive obvious called “chemistry” with the opposite sex. So overall your chances are very slim to find a compatible match and sustain the relationship. I consider my last relationship, which lasted about 18 months; as well as best friend of mine, who married a woman he met on www.datingbuzz.com, the exceptions.
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Link To Your World podcast interview

by Ramon Thomas in Downloads/Interviews/Podcasts on 1414/121212/2007200720072007 • No Comments • , , ,

Recently I was approached to do an interview about the rise of the individual with Link To Your World. Some of the points I discussed was how I moved from working in the corporate sector to starting my own business. And I also discussed the power of social networking and social influence to position you as an expert in your industry.

You can download or listen to the podcast interview with Mike Orshan here.

Taalgenoot interview on the impact of Technololgy on Human Relationships

by Ramon Thomas in Interviews on 2222/111111/2007200720072007 • 2 Comments • , , , , ,

online dating1. How does communication technology change the interaction of people (for example: from as young as 11 years children start to MXit and spend as much as 3 hours per day in their own virtual world.. But on Facebook long lost friends can keep in contact. Kindly give positive and negative comment)

Technology allows people to stay in touch with friends or family in remote places that could be very difficult or expensive otherwise. One of the first stories I discovered about MXit, was that of a grandmother in South Africa who was communicating with her grandsons in the UK. She was using MXit, and they were using MSN Messenger on a PC. Skype also allows people to make free voice calls over the Internet at no cost to anyone in the world using Skype.

The problem with technology as a communication medium is that increasingly people do not take responsibility for their actions. So for example people are cancelling appointments or meetings using SMS. Teenagers and adults are breaking up relationships and asking for a divorce using SMS. So technology allows people to avoid any negative reaction from other people. And the really bad part of this behaviour is that you never get to learn, through feedback, a valuable lesson in human relationships.

2. What can parents do to keep tabs on their children’s technology use (such as MXit and Facebook)

With MXit parents can install it on their own phones and add their children as a contacts. This way they can see when their children go online and when they go offline. Be warned that many children will refuse or delete their parents as a contact. When they delete your contact, after accepting you. You will see them as offline all the time, which defeats the purpose of monitoring them. If you have a good relationship with your children this will work.

With Facebook, simply register with Facebook, and search for their profiles. Again be warned you cannot see their profile unless they have accepted you as a Facebook friend. And most teenagers will not do this because it’s just not cool. If you have an open relationship ask them to show you how Facebook works, including a detailed explanation of their profiles.

3. What does communication technology do to the one to one and group communication skills of teens and young people. (eg. to introverts MXit is a way to express themselves but they lack the ability to build relationships etc.)

It can both increase their social contact and decrease their social skills. On MXit, the chat rooms are anonymous because people use nicknames. You may be able to say something in a chat room you could never say in person. So you never learn how to be assertive. And if you are already shy you may after a lot of time practising improve your ability to communicate. The challenge is that when you communicate online, either MXit, or Facebook, you cannot read body language or voice tone, and this reduces the amount of information you have available. So it’s a short term solution for a introverted child to use technology to communicate with people. They should, with help from their parents and teachers, learn how to communicate face to face. Debating clubs and public speaking classes is very good for this

4. Does technology changes the psyche? (Do people become more directed towards technology than their fellow-men?)

There is a growing amount of research that proves that multitasking is a myth. Also with technology many people are learning how to intelligently avoid real work in companies. When people in an office is surfing the Web (including Facebook) it can seem like they are working and yet they are not doing anything work related at all. It’s likely that South Africa is loosing hundreds of millions of Rand due to unproductive employees. And the responsibility lies with the companies to educate their employees on good online etiquette. More specifically I’m becoming very pessimistic about the impact of technology because so much of it is a form of escapism from reality: everything from playstations, to chat room, or online social networks. Nothing beats the real thing!

5. How do you personally use communication technology (Facebook) and how much time do you spend on it

I use or at least try out all new technology as it emerges. I am also a regular blogger and contribute to many online forums. The most important technology for me is email, cellphones and Skype. My primary focus is using technology to communicate with large numbers of people in a personalised way. What I mean is I can use a bulk email software to email 1,000 people using their first name like “Hi Karen” and this gets a much higher response rate. In terms of time I spend to much time using the Internet because its at the core of my business. I spend about 8-10 hours online 6 days a week. I also switch my cellphone off after 8pm and have been working toward ONE Technology FREE day per week, usually Saturdays.

6. Which communication technology is used the most by the different generations?

  • Preteens and teens – MXit and other instant messaging platforms
  • 20 and 30 year olds – Facebook and email, yes
  • 40 – 60 year olds – Cellphone and email, yes

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Self-promotion interview with Damaria Senne

by Ramon Thomas in Interviews on 1818/070707/2007200720072007 • No Comments • , ,

You may be interested in this is an interview I did with journalist and blogger Damaria Senne about self promotion and building your own profile. A friend of mine once suggested that I offer this as a service to clients. So if you want to obliterate your competition and position yourself as an expert in your field or your industry, contact me directly on 074 124 1696.

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First part of interview with Damaria Senne

by Ramon Thomas in Interviews on 2727/060606/2007200720072007 • 1 Comment • ,

Damaria Senne, a journalist @ ITWeb, recently asked me to do a lengthy and very detailed interview about online and mobile trends and the impact on children for her parenting blog. You can read part 1 of the interview here.

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Ramon Thomas interviews Michelle Garforth

by Ramon Thomas in Celebrity/Interviews on 0707/121212/2005200520052005 • No Comments •

Michelle Garforth has successfully secured her name on both sides of the Atlantic as a highly respected international TV Anchor, Producer and Journalist. She has been described as being like a breath of fresh air on camera; articulate, knowledgeable and approachable. You may recognise her from the current tv show Wild Ltd on SABC2.

RT: What is your current relationship status? And why?

MG: I’m single, that is why we are talking and why, well that is a little more complicated I think, um why happily single. I would prefer to rather be single than to be in a relationship that is not a 125% true, honest, loving and healthy. So I go for the full nine yards so to speak, as opposed to settling for 2nd best.

RT: What are the characteristics and qualities you find attractive in a man? And Why?

MG: It varies, and I would say a lot of it has to do with the person’s soul and charisma because that is what shines forward. Yes, there will be a physical attraction but it is so much about what is inside that comes out and that which you see first and that is what you are attracted to first. If you talk about physical attributes that I look at – eyes, they are definitely the spiritual window of the soul, men’s hands are intriguing – their wrists, that sense of testosterone and manliness, what makes a man a man! That is definitely what I notice the eyes, the hands, and the light of the person.

RT: You are talking about the inside, how do you go about finding that out because you know you get the first impression, surely you can’t get a sense of his soul, spirituality and charisma just be looking at him.

MG: Agreed, and I think that is where you need to open up the book and read that chapter and spend some time talking, asking certain pertinent questions to find out people’s opinions and view points. And perhaps help them understand what their thinking is on a certain topic. So yes it is about spending time and communicating to get closer to their heart.

RT: There is no such thing as a 50/ 50 relationship, I think someone is always in control

MG: I think it is a hundred percent on either side, I also think that those percentages will change and shape and grow and sometimes there will be a dent on the one side and then it will spring back again. Because you can’t be expected to be the strong leader or equal partner all the time, that is what a relationship is, is having someone to lean on when you most need it. And then allowing them and being a pillar of strength for them to lean on you.

Michelle Garforth

RT: How do you as a woman get what you want in a relationship?

MG: I am not very manipulative and conniving, I tend to be very straight up and honest and clear from the point of view I come from. In terms of getting what I want, I tend to get what I want because I am able to state what I want.

RT: What things that men do could be a turn off?

MG: I don’t like deceit and lies, I don’t like ego, I don’t like veiled hidden agendas, I am not one who is turned on by manipulative business practice in order to get what they are wanting, that for me doesn’t work, I prefer honest clear human beings.

RT: Have you had that kind of experience where somebody has tried to seduce you, sort of ulterior motives?

MG: Very much so. And I think when ever you are in the public eye, then immediately you are put on a pedestal of some sort in somebodies eyes. Unfortunately that is not the reality of it, from Mick Jagger, to J Lo and right through to Michelle Garforth or Gareth Cliff, we are just human beings. We have lives, emotions, depressions, upsets, joy, happiness, frustrations, and it just so happens that we make our money in the public eye. We are not on a pedestal and I think very often what happens when you get into relationships when you are in the capacity of a celebrity (we have gotta find another word for celebrity), you fall off your pedestal.

RT: Do you believe in opposites attract and why?

MG: I do believe opposites attract, my best friend Kim from the age of 12, we are totally different human beings, I am a traveller and an adventurer, Kim is very much a home body, has found the most wonderful life in being a superb mother. We are pro departs in terms of personality yet we get on like a house on fire, there is a wonderful sanctuary that we have together in our friendship. And so yes I do think that opposites attract and they do balance each other out. {mosimage}

RT: Do you believe in love at first sight? And why?

MG: I do. Because I have experienced it. I met my husband, I was married, Mark died in a plane crash in 1998, but I met Mark – literally looked at him and knew you are the man I am going to marry. I just knew immediately and we were married within a 3 month time frame, and the best way I can describe it is laying eyes on another person and going wow, this is it. And I think it is very much a personal decision and commitment in that you make it work to go further.

RT: What is the worst pick-up line ever used on you by a man, and how did you respond?

MG: Do men still use pick-up lines? I mean I know that there is a flirtatiousness and a banter of one liners…

RT: Oay so what is the worst approach you have ever had?

MG: I don’t like teasing, I don’t like it when people tease each other, and I find that there is a lot of negative that happens in that teasing moment. And because it is coming from a man, he tends to be stronger physical and comes across as being a bit of a bully. And so I really don’t like teasing and I find a lot of men do that, they think it is attractive to put you down. It so does not work for me.

RT: What is the most embarrassing date you have been on?

MG: I think blind dates are embarrassing in that you know you are being set up by friends with somebody they perceive you to like, and I have got to tell you every single blind date that I have been on, does not work! Which is an interesting process then, because do your friends really know you?

RT: And what is the most exciting date you have ever been on?

MG: I would say, well the most exciting date was actually when I got married. Mark and I sky dived, he sky dived into the wedding. And the first date we officially went on, we went up to Leopard Rock near Sun City, and we went Sky Diving on a date.

RT: How do men react when you are along vs when you are in a group?

MG: Well when I am alone I tend to be more girly and when I am in a group as one is, I tend to be louder and more chatty, and how do they react to me in those two different persona’s… I say if they know the heart of you they are able to transition in and out of those different zones quite easily.

RT: How has the Feminist Revolution affected women in the 21st century?

MG: Oh my goodness, I think life for our generation of women is a challenge, lets say that. Because we are working, men are having to perceive us as workers – we have hours just as they do. We are earning the same now, we are also demanding of our work hours: saying honey I will be home at 6pm, are you making the dinner tonight? Why is it always the women’s duty? And I do believe that South Africa is in an interesting social climate because of apartheid, our men were never educated as they were overseas, with basic things such as Mens magazines, fashion, grooming, those sort of things. So we in terms of South Africa, feel that our men have caught up graciously and very quickly, but we did go through a period where women needed to be women and there has been an incredible emotional, psychological growth within the men in Johannesburg, Cape Town, our South African society which is wonderful. The adaption to the new way of women. We do need two salaries, in order to have a household. So yes we are living in interesting times, and are definitely in the forefront, we are almost pioneers in the new civilisation.

RT: What kind of relationship issues do you and your girlfriends discuss most often?

MG: I think we discuss, and there are many topics, but I would say it is the business of getting the balance right in our lives, so that we can contribute to healthier more functional relationships with our men. Really I would say that is what it is, how do we juggle this better, how do we time manage, how do we improve our time management at the office, how do we pull in projects and still be moms and supportive partners in our husband’s careers? There is a lot of pressure and in terms of my girlfriends that is what we spend a lot of time discussing, and I think we also spend a lot of time talking about how clear we are on the types of relationships we are looking for. We want healthy functional situations that are communicative with your one on one person.

RT: Do you have any suggestions about what women can do differently to be more successful in dating and relationships with men?

MG: I guess if I had tips I wouldn’t be single… But I think it is a process of when you are committed to go out on a date, and I think dating is important, it is a vital valuable thing to be doing, putting yourself out there. You are not going to find the man of your dreams by staying at home and eating popcorn and watching movies. You have got to put yourself in that social situation. And when you are, I think it is a case of trusting your gut instinct and using your intelligence, your integrity but asking certain pertinently placed questions, to find out more about that person in a quick changeable manner, as opposed to leaving it up to the guys. You know be the master of your own destiny.

RT: Do you have any suggestions on how guys should approach women?

MG: Yes, I think you know what, if you like somebody as a man just approach her in that true, honest manner and say hi my name is Charles and I think you are wonderful…. I would love to take you out for dinner and get to know you better, I like what I am seeing.

{mosimage}RT: What is your idea of an ideal date?

MG: Ideal date, oh my goodness there are so many options. I am one for picnics, I love picnics! I like to pack a basket, I prefer it than going to a restaurant. Pack a basket, go and sit by a river and chill with the birds and the trees, and nice bottle of champagne, I love dry champagne. Some nice picky foods: strawberries and some carrots, cold meats etc… Just to sit in nature and talk!

Michelle Garforth

RT: What do you think of speed dating? And would you try it?

MG: I would love to, and I think it is a good idea, it buys a little into my concept of love at first sight, and also I think trusting your gut instinct when you lay eyes on somebody.

RT: What do you think of online dating and would you try it?

MG: I haven’t tried it in that I have logged on to one of the websites, and kind of put myself out there with a profile, I haven’t. I know a lot of my girlfriends have, especially ages like 35 to say 48 are doing it, and successfully. It seems to be in a protected environment, in that the girls are smart and they are looking after themselves, I think it is a little bit dangerous. But women are doing it and they are doing it successfully and there are a lot of successful stories out of it. From my perspective, I mean I have friends from all over the world that I can talk to on certain levels but you know at the end of the day they live in a foreign country and I am here. It tends to be a little fantastical that a relationship will ensue, lets be honest you are really continents divided. So I take it day by day and as things are meant to happen in my life they do.

Take a moment and visit the amazing Michell Garforth website.

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Ramon Thomas interviews Big Brother’s Mark Pilgrim

by Ramon Thomas in Celebrity/Interviews on 3030/050505/2005200520052005 • No Comments • ,

Mark Pilgrim 2004Mark Pilgrim is one of the most recognizable radio and television personalities in South Africa. His first love has always been radio, and for the past 10 years listeners have enjoyed his warm (and somewhat wry) sense of humour.RT: What is your current relationship status….and why?
MP: I am seeing someone new. I have just come out of a long term relationship and met someone else I was attracted to. P.S, contrary to tabloid gossip, I have never been married.

RT: What are the things you find attractive in a woman and why?
MP: A smile. A sense of confidence. Independence. A girl-next-door look. Must be slim.

RT: How do you as a man get what you want in a relationship?
MP: It’s either someone your partner has or doesn’t. Don’t try and change someone into the way you like them to be.

RT:What kind of things that women do, turn you off?
MP: If you mean what do woman do to turn me off… the answer is easy… get moody too often. My emotions run stable and I like calmness in my life.

RT:Do you believe in opposites attract and why?
I do, but generally believe in my life these are more physical relationships and don’t last too long. Not that anything is wrong with that. Why should every relationship be with the intention of lasting forever?

RT:Do you believe in love at first sight and why?
MP:No. I believe in lust at first sight. It takes a while to get to know what someone is REALLY like.

RT:What’s the worst pick-up line you’ve used on a woman and did it work?
MP:In all honesty I have never used a “pick-up line”. I have simply gone up to someone and say “Hi” (my profession helps a little!).

Mark Pilgrim 2003 velvet

RT:Have you ever messed up on the first date and did she want to see you again?
MP:I haven’t “messed up”, but have had dates where we realise we don’t actually get on. I usually cut them short. Rule of thumb: if you haven’t really been in a social setting with them before, don’t commit to a dinner. Go for “early evening drinks”. If you get on, it can progress to dinner. If she’s awful, bail out early!

RT:How do women react when you’re alone vs. when you’re in a group setting?
MP:Girls aren’t as shy or submissive anymore. Regardless of where I am, if they want to come up and say hi, they generally do! I like that.

RT:How has the feminist revolution affected life for men in the 21st century?
I believe in female emancipation. We are equals. I will always open a car door for a woman, but I like her to be independent and stand up for herself (just please keep shaving under the arms!).

RT:What kind of relationship issues do you and your guy friends discuss?
MP:Come on…guys don’t discuss “relationship issues”. We are too shallow…we just talk about ass.

RT:Do you have any suggestions you can share with our male readers about what a man can do be more attractive and confident to women like you?
MP: Believe in yourself. Confidence is very attractive. I have a mate who is not good looking at all, but he is so confident (yet, not cocky). He makes them laugh. Also, try and dress with some style, even if it is in jeans. First impressions DO count. RT jeans projects a sloppy image. Get a pair of Diesels. Yes, they are more expensive, but you’ll look a lot better in them. And DON’T wear any shirt with retail branding on (e.g “ I cycled the Pick n Pay Argus”, or “SPCA volunteer”).

RT:Do you have any suggestions you can share with our readers on how guys should approach a woman?
Don’t use a silly pick-up line. Just go over and introduce yourself. Approach with the confidence that should she bat you off, you wouldn’t be fazed because it’s her loss. Also, be warned: if a gorgeous girl approaches you at a bar…she probably just wants a free drink!

RT:Do you have any suggestions or preferences for the ideal date?
If you haven’t really socialised with her before, meet her for early evening drinks. That way you both have an escape option and don’t feel pressured.

RT:What do you think of Speed Dating and would you try it?
MP: Heard about it. I personally wouldn’t do it because most people want to be with me for the wrong reasons. For someone not in the public eye, sure. You just never know where or when you going to meet someone that will blow you away.

RT:Finally what do you think of Online Dating and would you try it?
Never tried it, but have a mate who swears by it. He goes on numerous dates with some really gorgeous girls… and has fun!

Mark Pilgrim 94.7 Highveld Stereo

More about Mark Pilgrim

After obtaining his B.com and working in market research for 10 years, he decided to follow his heart and joined 5FM back in 1995. After 8 years they parted ways and he now freelances for Johannesburg’s 94.7 Highveld Stereo, hosting the Hot 30 Chartshow on Saturdays.

He is as comfortable in front of the cameras as he is behind the microphone, with a string of TV shows to his credit, including: New Moves, Retail Therapy, Face 2 Face as well as South Africa’s first reality television series Big Brother. In another South African television first, his new controversial show called “Sex Etc” comes to MNET in May 2005!

Visit the Mark Pilgrim website for more information.

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