Dating Vs Marriage

by Ramon Thomas in Humour on 1616/070707/2010201020102010 • No Comments • ,

When you are dating …. Farting is never an issue.
When you are married …. You make sure there’s nothing flammable near your husband at all times.

When you are dating …. He takes you out to have a good time.
When you are married …. He brings home a 6 pack, and says “What are you going to drink?”

When you are dating …. He holds your hand in public.
When you are married …. He flicks your ear in public.

When you are dating …. A Single bed for 2 isn’t THAT bad.
When you are married …. A King size bed feels like an army cot.

When you are dating ….. You are turned on at the sight of him naked.
When you are married …. You think to yourself “Was he ALWAYS this hairy????”

When you are dating …. You enjoyed foreplay.
When you are married …. You tell him “If we have sex, will you leave me alone???”

When you are dating ….. He hugs you, when he walks by you for no reason.
When you are married …. He grabs your boob any chance he gets.

When you are dating ….. You picture the two of you together, growing old together.
When you are married ….You wonder who will die first.

When you are dating ….. Just looking at him makes you feel all “mushy.”
When you are married …. When you look at him, you want to claw his eyes out.

When you are dating …. He knows what the “hamper” is.
When you are married …. The floor will suffice as a dirty clothes storage area.

When you are dating …. He understands if you “Aren’t in the mood.”
When you are married …. He says “It’s your job.”

When you are dating …. He understands that you have “male” friends.
When you are married …. He thinks they are all out to steal you away.

When you are dating … He likes to “discuss” things.
When you are married …. He develops a “blank” stare.

When you are dating … He calls you by name.
When you are married … He calls you “Hey” and refers to you when speaking to others as “She.”

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How to invite a woman out you have just met buying Dolce&Gabbana

by Ramon Thomas in Dating on 0909/020202/2008200820082008 • No Comments • , , ,

Recently I was out at the Mall of Rosebank and I was doing some shopping. My approach skills have been slack because in 2007 I was in two long term relationships. So I’ve been going out more often to brush up on my pickup skills. One of my strategies has always been to go to clothing stores and find a sexy girl to help me decide what clothes to purchase.

Dolce&Gabbana light blueSometimes there just isn’t any attractive women or more specifically the women who are working in the retail stores are just plain average. But if you look around you’ll find the niche locations where the hotties be found. So I was in Truworths and headed over to the cosmetic section. You’ll notice in the cosmetic section there can be either female clients or female employees. I noticed a tall, sexy girl who was dangling over the checkout counter and called her over. Another less attractive woman had approached me to help me and I sent her packing and chose the HB.I flirted with her from the get go. And I also touched her, getting her to touch me back as I sampled the new Light Blue Dolce&Gabanna. Asking her the following line, I learned from Ross Jeffries, was the clincher, “Have you ever met a guy in a place like this you thought was just fascinating?” And she responded, yes. What this question does is allows her mind to go back into her memory and begin to think of what meeting a fascinating guy feels like. I then touched her wrist to anchor that feeling to myself. This was a little judo trick to create instant attraction with a woman you’ve just met.

Now just before I left I said to her, “I’m hosting an Anti-Valentine’s day party on 14 Feb and I’d love you to join me…” next I wrote down my name and cellphone number and left it with her. I didn’t even say goodbye and just left. About 15 mins later I was still walking around other parts of Rosebank, Johannesburg, and received a call on my cell. Answer in high spirits it turned out to be this woman, from Truworths, just letting me know this is her number and that I should have an awesome day.

So in summary what I did was I linked the feeling of fascination in her mind to me, and I then proceed to ask her out to join me at a party. We’ve spoken since and she’s keen to meet before the Anti-Valentine’s Day party. The key thing to remember about asking woman out is NOT to drag it out. Forget getting her phone number and calling later. Suggest meeting immediately (going for a drink) or later the same day and leave your cellphone number with her. You cut to the chase when she calls because its undeniable interest. We’re all very, very busy these days so there’s no time to waste and drag out the dating process.

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Why you should avoid dating divorced women

by export in Women on 0101/010101/2008200820082008 • 34 Comments • , , ,

Finding the Right One After Divorce: Avoiding the 13 Common Mistakes People Make in Remarriage

Recently I bumped into a woman whom I met about 5 years ago at nightclub. At first glance she still looked hot after all these years. A slim body and sexy clothes, flat tummy and nice boobs. However, she was likely more bitchy than when we first met. This time however, I had also become more assertive. And I kept joking around with her and her friends.

At some point I was speaking to her friend and she explained they were both ?divorced with no kids.? No you may or may not know my stance on dating women with kids but that is a non-negotiable for me these days. The way this woman added ?no kids? really got me thinking about it. So obviously they were what’s called ?back on the market? and the woman I met 5 years ago made a very bad decision in her marriage. Whatever the specific reasons for it not working out is irrelevant because my frame of mind says that woman choose the men, no matter how the men misbehave, they, the woman actually made this bad choice. And what gets to them eventually is knowing this. In the same light my mother chose my dad, whom she divorced after a few short years. In general women, the media and society tend to blame the men for bad behaviour, cheating, drinking, slacking, etc.

Anyway another way of thinking about women stems from the concepts of premiums and discounts I discovered listening to FJ Shark’s Keys to the Kingdom of Women audio programme. The basic idea here is that premiums are high maintenance, expect more than they give, and in general should be avoided when you first notice them. They may be very attractive, which is what helps them get away with their bitchy behaviour. And men must become more assertive, identify the two basic types of women, and cut losses quickly or move forward quickly. It’s also the trait of a good salesman, that is qualifying your clients quickly so you do not waste to much time on dead leads.

Here’s some reasons why you don’t want to date divorced women:

  • they made a bad decision (no matter what the guy did, they chose him)
  • they likely to give you the run around about sex and intimacy
  • they very likely to have commitment issues and other psychological baggage
  • you are not there to play Freud
  • you are not looking to make new friends because you have friends already
  • there are many women, never married from 18 to 38

As I keep saying more and more these days: If you are going through all the effort reading and studying seduction and dating, to improve your success with women, it becomes a real test of character to get them coming back for more. Anyone can have one night stands, and we’ve all been there, done that. But when you are working so hard on improving your life, it is good when you are able to draw on the self-esteem interest you’ve been building over the years. Don’t give up. Keep on, keeping on.

What’s your experience been in dating divorced men or women??

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The Single Life or the Social Life

by Ramon Thomas in Dating on 2424/080808/2007200720072007 • 1 Comment • , , , ,

Before you can even begin to think about how to improve your dating, relationships and social life I ask you answer the following question as truthfully as you can:

On a scale from 1 to 10…how much do you like or love yourself?

If this number is less than 5 we have a serious problem. I mean, think about it, if you don’t like yourself, how can you expect someone else to like you? One of the biggest myths in relationships is that when I find a new girlfriend, boyfriend, a partner or soul mate they will complete me.

I suggest you consider the following concept: how much other people like or love you is directly proportional to how much you like or love yourself. And if you can imagine being a cup that overflows with love, than you have more to share with other people. If you are empty inside and you don’t enjoy your life, you do not have much to share. In fact you will be in ?wanting mode? because you do not understand how by giving you can receive pleasure. And ultimately your vitality in life is also directly proportional to your vision, which links back to your experience.

Have you ever wondered why most people are just talking about work? It’s simply because they do not make time for anything else. I promise you that nobody when they are growing up dreams of work, work and more work. You may dream of meeting interesting people, travelling the world, or achieving different kinds of personal successes. There is a common misconception that we are searching for meaning in our lives. The great philosopher, Joseph Campbell, the expert on myth, said, meaning is an intellectual construct, it’s in our heads. Instead what we are truly seeking is the feeling of being alive.

This is one of the fundamental reasons there has been such a dramatic rise in the drug abuse culture alongside the rise of television. Television must be the worst invention in the history of humankind when it comes to what makes people feel lonely. You see it entertains you and at the same time it programs you into complacency. And this is very, very real indeed. I highly recommend you read the articles on the Steve Pavlina’s blog about Giving Up TV.

Now I’ve met some people who swear that they are happy being single. They often insist that they are not looking and they are not desperate. And I’ve noticed a slight frustration in their voices or their body language. They are not convincing to me. You see there’s absolutely nothing wrong when it comes to looking for love. Imagine if you lost your job or quit your job…how long would it take for you to start looking for a new one? Almost immediately and you would speak to whomever it takes to help you find a job. You would be open to it. And so I encourage you to open to a increased social life. The reason is simple. Scientist have found that the people who most frequently refer us to new jobs or introduce us to potential dating partners or spouses, is NOT our best friends or family. As it turns out it’s weak social connections or as they are more commonly known, our acquaintances. So the theory goes, the larger the number of weak social connections you have, the more your increase your chances of social interaction that leads you to finding and meeting the kind of people you ideally want to meet. This goes hand-in-hand with increased confidence in social scenarios.

You see the single life is really not the ideal life style. It stinks of loneliness and desperation. I refuse to tell people I’m single. Instead I refer to myself as simple unmarried. And yes, I’m still looking for love.

20 Dates for under R100

by Ramon Thomas in Dating on 0606/080808/2007200720072007 • 1 Comment • , , ,

Tom Leykis, one of my favourite radio DJs, whom I listen to online, brought this story from Hitched Mag to my attention. Now it originally reads 20 Dates For Under $20 but since I live in South Africa I’ve adapted it to a realistic R100. Just by the way I highly recommend the movie 20 Dates for how NOT to go about dating women.

  1. Find the best happy hour in town: Look through your local newspaper or search online for websites that list happy hour prices for local restaurants and bars. Most places offer food and drink specials at half the normal price, allowing you to get two drinks and share an appetizer for less than R100.
  2. Go to a museum: Most museums are free or offer free entry on certain days of the month. I also highly recommend art galleries.
  3. Visit your local zoo: Most zoos offer adult tickets for less than R50. Pack your own snacks and bottled water and have a mini picnic by your favourite exhibit. Joburg Zoo offers annual passes for R220.
  4. Go on a romantic hike: Bring a backpack and surprise your partner with your favourite bottle of cheap champagne, strawberries and plastic champagne flutes. The Suikerbosrand Nature Reserve, south of Johannesburg entrance fee is only R20 per person.
  5. Go swimming at your local pool, lake or the beach: Bring some water toys and have more fun than the kids. This is a great suggestion because so few people seem to go to swimming pools any more.
  6. Beat the heat with an ice cream date: Take two scoops to the park or take a walk downtown and go people watching.
  7. Get an Edgars Card to Pay Half Price @ Movies: South Africa doesn’t have a lot of choice in cinemas unlike America. Pick a rainy day and have a movie marathon.
  8. Take a downtown walking tour of your town or nearest city: You?ll have fun discovering things and places you never knew existed. You can also pick up a free visitors guide for ideas. I once took an ex-girlfriend from Cape Town to Hillbrow at 2am to get some Nandos.
  9. Throw a cheap picnic: Go on a picnic at the beach, mountains or in your own back yard. Grab a blanket, pack a deli sandwich and a bottle of R20 wine (Douglas Green St Clare, St Anna, St Vincent or St Morand).
  10. Take a blanket to the beach: Split your budget between a bottle of wine and cheese then enjoy the sunset while you snuggle on the blanket.
  11. Take a stroll through the botanical gardens: Spend the day walking through rose gardens and tropical rain forests hand in hand for less than R100 a ticket. Joburg Botanical Gardens by Emmerentia Dam is free and I’ve been there many times. Start from the bottom of the Rose garden and walk up, stop after each section, sit down, enjoy the view and kiss your girlfriend. Also try National Zoological Garden in Pretoria and Kirstenbosch in Cape Town.
  12. Be a kid again: Go bowling, play miniature golf (putt putt), ride go-carts or play laser tag.
  13. Build a bonfire: All you need is some firewood, snacks and a drink of your choice. This is also a great opportunity for roasted marshmallows.
  14. Rent something: Go roller- or ice-skating, or rent a two-seater bike and ride through the park. Cape Town ice rink here and in Joburg go to Northgate.
  15. Paint pottery together: Lots of studios let you get creative for around R25 an hour. Go here for ceramic, pottery and fabric painting information.
  16. Pitch a tent: Park fees are usually between R30-R60, which leaves money for food and wood. Go camping and roast hot dogs as you gaze at the stars.
  17. Go wine tasting: Many wineries charge around R15-R30 for a tasting?plus, you?ll get to keep the glass as a souvenir of your date.
  18. Take a scenic drive: Pull over to have coffee and dessert at a nice caf?. In Johannesburg and Cape Town there are several locations with stunning views of the city below. You can find them on your own or just email me for the directions.
  19. Spend the night walking through the shops and enjoying the local artists: Lots of cities have art walks one night a month during the summer. Most galleries even offer a free glass of wine to art-walk goers in order to attract them.
  20. Rack ?em up at you local pool joint: With pool games costing R2 at certain venues, you might even have money left over to share a pitcher of beer.

Any more suggestions?

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How to maximise your time as a busy Professional when dating

by Ramon Thomas in Dating on 1212/070707/2007200720072007 • No Comments • , , , ,

Professionals often don’t have a lot of time to socialise. In brief, simple terms, what practical examples of how they can make the most of the time they do you have when trying to secure phone numbers or a date.

You must including online dating in your arsenal simply because it gives you access to hundreds of thousands of single women. And once you’ve set-up your profile, the part that requires most of the work, it’s low maintenance and initiating contact is easy and convenient (Sundays is best to send first emails). Social networking websites like MySpace and Facebook are also excellent free alternatives. The other important thing to do is to ensure that you always dress for success every single time you go out. So for example when you go grocery shopping this can be a very good way to meet new women. And instead of going to your local SPAR go the the Woolworths because you will find higher quality women shopping there – they also have excellent coffee shops, which is very popular among certain groups of women. When you are out for a drink with your buddies you must take some time out to approach women and this maximises your time. In fact you need to take every opportunity of leaving your house or your office to strike up conversations with women.

What are you favourite openers for starting conversations with women?

  • Ask a women an opinion about something in the environment to make it more natural
  • Comment on an item she is wearing that is unique or unusual
  • Comment on something happening close by loud enough for her to hear

Why do high-end professionals find it difficult to meet or interact with women?

by Ramon Thomas in Media on 0202/070707/2007200720072007 • No Comments • , , , , ,

This morning I was a guest for the first time on CNBC Africa, a new 24 hour business and finance channel for African business. It’s broadcast on channel 54 on DStv. Anyway the interview was short but to prepare I answered several questions for the producer of the Business AM show hosted by Peter Ndoro and Leigh Roberts.

It really comes down the fact that brokers like most people in the knowledge economy almost exclusively focus on left brain thinking and activities. This is where logical thinking and problem solving skills come together. And what makes one broker better then the next. Now when it comes to meeting and interacting with women the opposite of logical thinking applies. For example when you meet an attractive women the last thing you want to do is giver her a compliment on her physical appearance ? this is the logical thing to do but it’s wrong! Instead what you should do is tease her about something, which will immediately differentiate you from the 99% of men who have approached her on any given day.

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How to get a women’s phone number in 2 minutes

by export in Dating/Women on 1717/050505/2007200720072007 • 6 Comments • , , ,

Ramon's new phone Sony Ericsson w880iOn Tuesday I went to the traffic department to pick-up my new drivers license. As fellow South Africans will know – this is a nightmare. The whole system is so messed up because of computer glitches and government bureaucracies and bungling…’nuff said.

Anyway while waiting in the queue I see this woman reading a Danielle Steel book. So as I walked in I immediately made a loud comment about the two guys on either side of her being losers for not talking to her. In fact I pointed to her and said “How rude! Do you guys realise she’s telling you how boring you are and her book is more interesting then whatever you have to say?”

She hit back that they had been stuck in traffic department for two days. They were there the previous day and the systems went down so they came back. Now the great Chinese sage, Lao Tzu, once said those who justify do not convince. And here she was – I hardly know her – and she is defending herself. If she did not care she would continue to read. First IOI – indicator of interest – and she asked me a question – next IOI. My name was called and picked up my drivers license card. I returned to her, asked for her cellphone, called myself and asked her name as a I left – remarking that somebody up there likes me.

So there was some warm-up conversation. Always teasing and never letting on. From the moment I sat down, asked for her phone, called my own number and returned her phone asking for her name > less than 2 mins! This has been one of my favourite ways of getting a woman’s phone number.

The next article will be reposted from David DeAngelo and his technique on email addresses and phone numbers. I’ve tried it and it causes to much of a delay so go directly for the phone number.

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