Dating Vs Marriage

When you are dating …. Farting is never an issue.
When you are married …. You make sure there’s nothing flammable near your husband at all times.

When you are dating …. He takes you out to have a good time.
When you are married …. He brings home a 6 pack, and says “What are you going to drink?”

When you are dating …. He holds your hand in public.
When you are married …. He flicks your ear in public.

When you are dating …. A Single bed for 2 isn’t THAT bad.
When you are married …. A King size bed feels like an army cot.

When you are dating ….. You are turned on at the sight of him naked.
When you are married …. You think to yourself “Was he ALWAYS this hairy????”

When you are dating …. You enjoyed foreplay.
When you are married …. You tell him “If we have sex, will you leave me alone???”

When you are dating ….. He hugs you, when he walks by you for no reason.
When you are married …. He grabs your boob any chance he gets.

When you are dating ….. You picture the two of you together, growing old together.
When you are married ….You wonder who will die first.

When you are dating ….. Just looking at him makes you feel all “mushy.”
When you are married …. When you look at him, you want to claw his eyes out.

When you are dating …. He knows what the “hamper” is.
When you are married …. The floor will suffice as a dirty clothes storage area.

When you are dating …. He understands if you “Aren’t in the mood.”
When you are married …. He says “It’s your job.”

When you are dating …. He understands that you have “male” friends.
When you are married …. He thinks they are all out to steal you away.

When you are dating … He likes to “discuss” things.
When you are married …. He develops a “blank” stare.

When you are dating … He calls you by name.
When you are married … He calls you “Hey” and refers to you when speaking to others as “She.”

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Why do high-end professionals find it difficult to meet or interact with women?

This morning I was a guest for the first time on CNBC Africa, a new 24 hour business and finance channel for African business. It’s broadcast on channel 54 on DStv. Anyway the interview was short but to prepare I answered several questions for the producer of the Business AM show hosted by Peter Ndoro and Leigh Roberts.

It really comes down the fact that brokers like most people in the knowledge economy almost exclusively focus on left brain thinking and activities. This is where logical thinking and problem solving skills come together. And what makes one broker better then the next. Now when it comes to meeting and interacting with women the opposite of logical thinking applies. For example when you meet an attractive women the last thing you want to do is giver her a compliment on her physical appearance ? this is the logical thing to do but it’s wrong! Instead what you should do is tease her about something, which will immediately differentiate you from the 99% of men who have approached her on any given day.

 

How to use Social Proof to improve your Dating

Dr Robert Cialdini wrote a book called Influence, The Psychology of Persuasion. One of the weapons of influence and core principles in this book is “Social Proof”. Wikipedia defines it as “is a psychological phenomenon which occurs in ambiguous social situations when people are unable to determine the appropriate mode of behaviour. Making the assumption that surrounding people possess more knowledge about the situation, they will deem the behaviour of others as appropriate.”

So here’s a recent example of this. Last night was I was out with two female friends and another guy in Johannesburg. And we went to a regular spot for me, Katzie’s in Rosebank. I know most of the waiters, bartenders, and other regular patrons. So very naturally I start to introduce people to each other. Now what this does for me is puts me in the centre. If you want to call it centre of attention that’s also good.

But when you are a Connector, as Malcolm Gladwell talks about in the Tipping Point, you can create instant social proof. And as they chat among themselves I’m free to approach new groups of women I do not know. So what you ask? Well social proof pushes your social value way up. And in bars, clubs, social groups it allows you to stand-out. And when you talk to a woman/man outside of your social group who has seen your social proof it makes them much less resistant and much more interested in what you have to say. The biggest benefit I’ve seen is it brings the new people into your life without hard work. So through expanding your acquaintances you increase your social proof, and increase the chances of meeting your next girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, etc.