John Wooden on true success

With profound simplicity, Coach John Wooden redefines success and urges us all to pursue the best in ourselves. In this inspiring talk he shares the advice he gave his players at UCLA, quotes poetry and remembers his father’s wisdom. He first came to my attention via the monthly Toastmasters International magazine. In this talk poetically about true success, hard work and also basic principles for leadership.

TEDTalks is a daily video podcast of the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world’s leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes. Featured speakers have included Al Gore on climate change, Philippe Starck on design, Jill Bolte Taylor on observing her own stroke, Nicholas Negroponte on One Laptop per Child, Jane Goodall on chimpanzees, Bill Gates on malaria and mosquitoes and “Lost” producer JJ Abrams on the allure of mystery. TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, Design, and TEDTalks cover these topics as well as science, business, development and the arts. Watch the Top 10 TEDTalks on TED.com,

Here’s some excellent motivational qoutes by coach Jon Wooden:

Don’t measure yourself by what you have accomplished, but by what you should have accomplished with your ability.

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I’d rather have a lot of talent and a little experience than a lot of experience and a little talent.

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Material possessions, winning scores, and great reputations are meaningless in the eyes of the Lord, because He knows what we really are and that is all that matters.

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Never mistake activity for achievement.

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Success comes from knowing that you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.

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If you’re not making mistakes, then you’re not doing anything. I’m positive that a doer makes mistakes.

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Be more concerned with your character than your reputation
because your character is what you really are, while your
reputation is merely what others think you are.

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Be prepared and be honest.

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Success is never final, failure is never fatal. It’s courage that counts.

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Winning takes talent, to repeat takes character.

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Don’t let what u cannot do interfere with what you can do.

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Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is man given Be grateful. Conceit is self given. Be careful.

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Ability may get u to the top, but it takes character to keep u there.

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If u don’t have time to do it right, when will u have time to do it over?

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It’s what u learn after u know it all that counts.

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A coach is someone who can give correction without causing resentment.

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It’s the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen.

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Ability iz a poor man’s wealth.

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A man may make mistakes, but he isn’t a failure until he starts blaming someone else.

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Be prepared & be honest.

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It’s amazing how much can be accomplished if no one cares who gets the credit.

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Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.

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You cannot live a perfect day without doing something 4 someone who will never be able to repay you.

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Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.

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Consider the rights of others before your own feelings, and the feelings of others before your own rights.

Be Like Water, my final Toastmasters speech for 2007

This was my final Toastmasters speech for the year and my 10th, which I passed. It is also the final speech in the first level: Competent Communicator:

Madam Toastmaster, Ladies and Gentlemen…

For the longest time I did not understand the difference between motivation and inspiration. However, as I kept studying and learning I believe the key difference is that motivation is when some external force is required to move you forward, while in inspiration, there is an inner force that directs you. And so if you consider for a moment how much of your ambitions, dreams or goals never materialise its likely due to the fact that you lost motivation or lost steam along the way. This is the opposite of what I want to share with you tonight.

Tonight I will share 3 principles with you by which I live my life:

Principle 1: Empty Your Mind

Now I’m sure you have all heard the old clich?d question: Is your glass half full or half empty? This is a common expression, used rhetorically to indicate that a particular situation could be a cause for optimism (half full), pessimism (half empty) or as a general litmus test to simply determine if an individual is an optimist or a pessimist.

A Zen master received a university professor who came to inquire about Zen. The Master served tea. He poured his visitor’s cup full, and then kept on pouring. The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. “It is overfull. No more will go in!” “Like this cup,” the Master said, “you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?”

How is this relevant to Toastmasters? It’s simply: If you do not empty your mind before coming to a Toastmasters meeting you will not learn anything. What is clear to me is that most people attending Toastmasters meeting indeed follow this way of thinking.

Principle 2: Letting Go (Accept Things As They Are)

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My Toastmasters speech on reducing technology stress

http://www.toastmasters74.org/My friend Ronnie Apteker published a book 1999 called “Do you love IT in the morning?” and this was a great play on words because it could imply “it” as in perhaps sex or “IT” as in “Information Technology.” Sadly this book is now out of print and I remember picking up over 50 copies a few years ago for R5 each when CNA was clearing their old stock.

Anyway his central theme was called the progress paradox. What that means is the more technology we invent, the better it becomes, the more it supposedly improves our lives, and yet we find we have less time to do things than we’ve ever had before. Professor Barry Schwartz also confirmed this in his 2005 book, The Paradox of Choice.

Why am I reminding you of something you so inherently know to be true? Because I would like you to join me in my campaign called “Switch IT Off” – which advocates ONE, just ONE Technology FREE day per week. And I’m very, very serious when I mean that you switch off ALL technology that is based on computers from your cellphones, your iPod, your PC, your laptop and maybe even your television and your hifi. Perhaps you can imagine being on a camping trip for that one day where you only have access to the bare necessities.

In case you find this difficult and secretly suffer from an addiction to technology here’s my solution:

The 12-STEP programme to reducing Technology Stress:

  1. I admit I am powerless over my cellphones and without it my life becomes unmanageable.
  2. I believe that only a Power greater than Eskom could restore my sanity.
  3. I made a decision to turn my backups over to the care of Google.
  4. I made a searching and fearless moral inventory of downloaded TV shows.
  5. I admitted to myself and others the exact nature of my mp3 collection.
  6. I have Microsoft remove all these defects in my character.
  7. I humbly asked Bill Gates to remove my shortcomings.
  8. I made a list of all persons spammed, and I became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. I made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. I continue to take personal inventory and when I was wrong promptly admitted it.
  11. I sought through meditation to improve my conscious contact with Google, praying for knowledge for me and the power to carry that out.
  12. I am having an spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, an I forward this message to all my friends to practice these principles in all my affairs.

On a more serious note, research from the Journal of Marriage and Family in 2005 found that cellphones increasingly blurs the line between family time and work time for both men and women. So what typically happens is that work related stress spills over into family time and the opposite is also true for women, where family problems spill over into work time. This decreased family satisfaction and increased stress over a two-year period. The researchers said that as the use of cell phones becomes increasingly prevalent, the line between family and work life will continue to blur.

You know in life your parents likely taught you how to cross the road by looking left, right and left again. But think about it, nobody teaches us how to cross the information superhighway. This 12-step programme is my way to bring order to the chaos, and helping your choose between the ONE (True/Yes) and the ZERO (No/False). So which one will it be?

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The Attention Age Doctrine

This is a speech I gave last night for my Toastmasters club

I only had my first girlfriend when I got to university, after high school. So I was a bit of slow starter back then. Every weekend I would rely on my best friend and neighbour to give me a lift to and from her because she lived in another city and his girlfriend lived there as well. So it almost became like a ritual that after he picked me up we would stop off at a garage shop and buy snacks and cool drinks. So while driving at 120 km/hour he held his cigarette in his right hand, conveniently close to the window for fresh air, controlled the steering wheel with the same hand. In between his legs he would keep his can of Coke and take the occasion sip. With his left hand he would change gears and every now and then grab some Niknaks or Simba chips. Now in retrospect this was in fact a very dangerous and stupid thing for him to do. This is taking multitasking to the the extreme.

Thank God cellphones were not widely in use back then.

The word multitasking comes from the computer industry and is now considered a vital part of our everyday lexicon. The idea is simple – you do multiple things at the same time. For example you may iron while watching tv or drive you car while listing to a news broadcast on radio. It turns out that of multitasking does not increase our productivity. In 2001 CNN reported a study by researchers Rubinstein and Meyer that found “time costs” increased with the complexity of the chores: It took longer, say, for subjects to switch between more complicated tasks. Every time you switch tasks you loose between 20% and 40% of the potential efficiency. An example quoted was when you write a report and your phone rings – you experience temporary writer’s block when you have switch back into the mode of writing the report.

The science author James Gleick wrote a whole book about the acceleration of just about everything called Faster. However, the most vivid description of this problem we’re facing comes from Professor Barry Schwartz, author of the Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less. The basic premise in his book is this: In the affluent Western world we have a greater selection, and a greater amount of choice than ever before in the history of mankind. The ability to choose is directly linked with concepts like freedom of speech and democracy. Nevertheless, we are more dissatisfied with our choices than ever before. So in economic terms we are experiencing a substantial increase in what’s called opportunity costs. And often we find ourselves paralysed when having to make choices. One examples from his book is where a study was performed in selling jam to customers. While presented with 30 flavours of jam at a gourmet store it attracted more interested parties who wants to sample the jam. When presented with only 6 flavours of jam, it attracted less people but increased sales. So there is a paradox is offering to much choice.

Rich Shefren, an online business coach, in his free ebook, the Attention Age Doctrine highlights the facts that we have now entered and era where Attention has become the most valuable resource. So how do you begin to reclaim your attention? Switch off your television, radio, computer and cellphone and give yourself a mental break. One final thought on this subject. In 2005, Glenn Wilson, Psychologist at King’s College in London, gave a group an IQ test who were to do nothing but take the test. He then gave them the same test while being distracted by emails and phone calls. Even though they were told to ignore these interruptions, the volunteers average IQ dropped by 10 points while being distracted. This is more than twice the effect of marijuana in a similar study.

Fake it till you make it when speaking in Durban

There is a very popular saying in the seduction community that you should fake it till you make it with women. What they mean is that you should pretend you have confidence until you develop real inner confidence. And the same goes for confident body language, etc.

This last week I’ve been giving talks on MXit and Blogging in Durban. This is one of the most beautiful cities in South Africa and especially the North Coast where I was staying in guest house, On the Beach.

Anyway this morning I presented a Blogging seminar for a paid audience organised by ePages.net, a specialist e-business and web design company. The venue was excellent, the room was packed, the mic was there, and the projector was set-up. Just after I started my presentation we completely lost all electricity in the area. This took me by surprise for a brief moment. There has been so many power outages in South Africa for the last year or so it was not a complete shock to the audience.

I immediately continued to share some stories with the audience. Someone opened the windows so we could get some sun light. And so I proceeded, be it a bit shaken by the loss of my presentation. My instincts kicked in and I proceeded to talk. I know one thing that happened was that I spoke faster. And I ended the presentation with an hour instead of the agreed 1.5 hours. We took questions and there a good response from most the audience. The feedback I received afterwards was generally positive. In my own mind I tried my best to remain calm. There is something about fake till you make it that came into play here. Because I was really ensure how to proceed without my presentation. I think we in business have developed a unnatural reliance on visual presentations. So even though it can enhance the message being delivered, it should never be the primary source of stimulation for your audience.

The best comment I received was my Toastmasters club would be proud with how I handled the loss of electricity and smoothly moved on and continued to delivery my presentation on Blogging. So the last word here is to take it till you make it. Just continue talking as if nothing happened and your audience will follow your lead. Remember you set the tone of the engagement. And most people are going to look to you fo reassurance of some kind.

Toastmasters Body Language speech

On Tuesday evening I won the Best Preprepared Speech (2nd time) for my C&L 5 Body Language speech at my Toastmasters club. This was weird because I chose to speak about the basics of body language and the objective of the speech was to demonstrate body language.

Some of the basics that I covered were:

1. When you arrive at a new venue pause when you enter the room. Allow people to notice you. This is an extremely powerful statement especially in a bar or nightclub. You must pause for several seconds about 10 to really allow the room to become aware of you. When you do this you will experience society pressure in your subconscious. Ignore that breath and walk through the centre of the room. Whether you realise this or not you have just demonstrated using only body language to be a very confident man. Much more confident than most guys in bars and clubs. Most of the women will have noticed and be more open to speaking to you later on when you approach them. Some may even come up to you after you have positioned yourself somewhere visible.

2. When you are walking always push your shoulders back. So whenever you are out always remember to do this. You will automatically push your chest out. And this reminds me of that feeling of a gorilla clobbering it’s chest. It’s really something that gives you the best possible posture for walking and standing up. Your back will be straight and this is also healthy for your spine.

3. When you are sitting down try to take up as much space as possible. For women it’s acceptable to cross their legs but for men it’s not recommended. So when you are in a public place…say at a fancy lounge, chances are they will have sofa’s. Sit down in the middle of the sofa stretch out your arms over the back and spread your legs like you own the place. This sends a very loud and clear message of your alpha male status.

Lastly Tracey Cox is her many books on body language states the most common mistake people make in dating situations is trying to read the other person’s body language. You should instead focus on the body language signals you are sending. This is the one thing you have completely control over. So don’t forget this fundamental lesson. Focus on your own body language and your non-verbal communication will increase in impact.

Research has shown that 60% of communication is non-verbal. Another 33% is voice tone. And only seven percent, that’s 7% is the actual words we speak. And when you realise how superior women are to ready body language. As a guy this is a crucial area for all men to improve.

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