This was my final Toastmasters speech for the year and my 10th, which I passed. It is also the final speech in the first level: Competent Communicator:

Madam Toastmaster, Ladies and Gentlemen…

For the longest time I did not understand the difference between motivation and inspiration. However, as I kept studying and learning I believe the key difference is that motivation is when some external force is required to move you forward, while in inspiration, there is an inner force that directs you. And so if you consider for a moment how much of your ambitions, dreams or goals never materialise its likely due to the fact that you lost motivation or lost steam along the way. This is the opposite of what I want to share with you tonight.

Tonight I will share 3 principles with you by which I live my life:

Principle 1: Empty Your Mind

Now I’m sure you have all heard the old clich?d question: Is your glass half full or half empty? This is a common expression, used rhetorically to indicate that a particular situation could be a cause for optimism (half full), pessimism (half empty) or as a general litmus test to simply determine if an individual is an optimist or a pessimist.

A Zen master received a university professor who came to inquire about Zen. The Master served tea. He poured his visitor’s cup full, and then kept on pouring. The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. “It is overfull. No more will go in!” “Like this cup,” the Master said, “you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?”

How is this relevant to Toastmasters? It’s simply: If you do not empty your mind before coming to a Toastmasters meeting you will not learn anything. What is clear to me is that most people attending Toastmasters meeting indeed follow this way of thinking.

Principle 2: Letting Go (Accept Things As They Are)

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There is a very popular saying in the seduction community that you should fake it till you make it with women. What they mean is that you should pretend you have confidence until you develop real inner confidence. And the same goes for confident body language, etc.

This last week I’ve been giving talks on MXit and Blogging in Durban. This is one of the most beautiful cities in South Africa and especially the North Coast where I was staying in guest house, On the Beach.

Anyway this morning I presented a Blogging seminar for a paid audience organised by ePages.net, a specialist e-business and web design company. The venue was excellent, the room was packed, the mic was there, and the projector was set-up. Just after I started my presentation we completely lost all electricity in the area. This took me by surprise for a brief moment. There has been so many power outages in South Africa for the last year or so it was not a complete shock to the audience.

I immediately continued to share some stories with the audience. Someone opened the windows so we could get some sun light. And so I proceeded, be it a bit shaken by the loss of my presentation. My instincts kicked in and I proceeded to talk. I know one thing that happened was that I spoke faster. And I ended the presentation with an hour instead of the agreed 1.5 hours. We took questions and there a good response from most the audience. The feedback I received afterwards was generally positive. In my own mind I tried my best to remain calm. There is something about fake till you make it that came into play here. Because I was really ensure how to proceed without my presentation. I think we in business have developed a unnatural reliance on visual presentations. So even though it can enhance the message being delivered, it should never be the primary source of stimulation for your audience.

The best comment I received was my Toastmasters club would be proud with how I handled the loss of electricity and smoothly moved on and continued to delivery my presentation on Blogging. So the last word here is to take it till you make it. Just continue talking as if nothing happened and your audience will follow your lead. Remember you set the tone of the engagement. And most people are going to look to you fo reassurance of some kind.

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On Tuesday evening I won the Best Preprepared Speech (2nd time) for my C&L 5 Body Language speech at my Toastmasters club. This was weird because I chose to speak about the basics of body language and the objective of the speech was to demonstrate body language.

Some of the basics that I covered were:

1. When you arrive at a new venue pause when you enter the room. Allow people to notice you. This is an extremely powerful statement especially in a bar or nightclub. You must pause for several seconds about 10 to really allow the room to become aware of you. When you do this you will experience society pressure in your subconscious. Ignore that breath and walk through the centre of the room. Whether you realise this or not you have just demonstrated using only body language to be a very confident man. Much more confident than most guys in bars and clubs. Most of the women will have noticed and be more open to speaking to you later on when you approach them. Some may even come up to you after you have positioned yourself somewhere visible.

2. When you are walking always push your shoulders back. So whenever you are out always remember to do this. You will automatically push your chest out. And this reminds me of that feeling of a gorilla clobbering it’s chest. It’s really something that gives you the best possible posture for walking and standing up. Your back will be straight and this is also healthy for your spine.

3. When you are sitting down try to take up as much space as possible. For women it’s acceptable to cross their legs but for men it’s not recommended. So when you are in a public place…say at a fancy lounge, chances are they will have sofa’s. Sit down in the middle of the sofa stretch out your arms over the back and spread your legs like you own the place. This sends a very loud and clear message of your alpha male status.

Lastly Tracey Cox is her many books on body language states the most common mistake people make in dating situations is trying to read the other person’s body language. You should instead focus on the body language signals you are sending. This is the one thing you have completely control over. So don’t forget this fundamental lesson. Focus on your own body language and your non-verbal communication will increase in impact.

Research has shown that 60% of communication is non-verbal. Another 33% is voice tone. And only seven percent, that’s 7% is the actual words we speak. And when you realise how superior women are to ready body language. As a guy this is a crucial area for all men to improve.

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