How to use Social Proof to improve your Dating

Dr Robert Cialdini wrote a book called Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. One of the weapons of influence and core principles in this book is “Social Proof”. Wikipedia defines it as “a psychological phenomenon which occurs in ambiguous social situations when people are unable to determine the appropriate mode of behaviour. Making the assumption that surrounding people possess more knowledge about the situation, they will deem the behaviour of others as appropriate.”

So here’s a recent example of this. Last night I was out with two female friends and another guy in Johannesburg. And we went to a regular spot for me, Katzie’s in Rosebank. I know most of the waiters, bartenders, and other regular patrons. So, very naturally, I start to introduce people to each other. Now what this does for me is put me in the centre. If you want to call it the centre of attention, that’s also good.

But when you are a Connector, as Malcolm Gladwell talks about in The Tipping Point, you can create instant social proof. And as they chat among themselves, I’m free to approach new groups of women I do not know. So what,t you ask? Well, social proof pushes your social value way up. And in bars, clubs, and social groups, it allows you to stand out. And when you talk to a woman/man outside of your social group who has seen your social proof, it makes them much less resistant and much more interested in what you have to say. The biggest benefit I’ve seen is that it brings new people into your life without hard work. So, through expanding your acquaintances, you increase your social proof and increase the chances of meeting your next girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, etc.