Just spotted a new movie which looks like Wedding Crashers meets Hitch and from the director of Old School, responsible for a number of Frat Pack movies. There does seem to be a trend for Hollywood to make more aggresively guy friendly movies in recent years. This one in particular looks really good and hopefully wakes up a lot of guys from them “nice guy syndrome”
Popularity: 14% [?]
In the film, The Mirror Has Two Faces, Barbra Streisand mentions the emergence of courtly love. In the following audio lecture Alan Watts identifies the same thing and expands on the link between marriage and romantic love and points to the French Troubadours 800 years ago. Here’s some more background on this view:
Now my favourite book about love is this amazing book by Italian journalist and Professor in Sociology, Francesco Alberoni, 77 years old and still going strong. You can download a free English edition of his best selling “Falling in Love.
How important do you think romantic love is for a man vs. a woman?
Popularity: 11% [?]
This is a response I wrote to the Editor of the Metro section of the Sunday Times, in response to readers feedback published here.
Being a dating coach is a part-time interest and my primary occupation is online research. My online dating research project has been widely covered since 2004 in various media ranging from Business Day to True Love, television shows like Carte Blanche, 3Talk as well as the controversial show “SEX, etc” on M-NET last year, with sexologist, Dr Elna McIntosh, where I was interviewed on how the Internet is changing the sexual behaviour of people today. Therefore there is no doubt about my level of professionalism and credibility in this regard.
In general most guys wear lots of bland colours and this results in them all looking very similar. By creating contrast with bright colours a man stands out from the pack and thus uses what is called “peacocking” in evolutionary biology terms. Charles Darwin’s theories on sexual selection explains this phenomenon in great detail and more recently in Matt Ridley’s book, The Red Queen (see chapter 5: The Peacock’s Tale).
Women can buy their own drinks and are not going to bars or clubs for men to do so. Instead they seek stimulation conversations and when a man buys her a drink BEFORE getting to know her it can be considered supplication.
Again giving a woman a compliment before she has an opportunity to demonstrate what is compelling about her, puts the man in the same boat as all the other men who have given her a similar compliment. A woman will value a compliment about something unique or different from the generic, overused, “you’re beautiful” type of compliments that most men give women.
Lastly most men know they should be using condoms. And those who don’t are ignorant of the risks of contracting a sexually transmitted disease. Based on my research the general difference between how men and women view sex is best described by this analogy: when a man sees an attractive woman he first thinks “what would sex be like with her”, while a women seeing an attractive man may think, “what would a relationship be like with him.” You only have to ask yourself why men, over the centuries continue to pay for sex with prostitutes. And you will realise they are in most cases not looking for a relationship with the prostitute, rather they want sexual gratification. So a man who wants to establish a sexual relationship with a woman can avoid falling into the “just friends” category by having a rule that says, if by the third date he has not had sex with her, he should move on because his chances of forming a sexual relationship with her diminishes drastically and she may in fact not be attracted to him for all good reason e.g. lack of confidence.
The aim is not to have sex with every woman you meet but to understand how to form a sexual relationship with a woman that you desire to have one with.
Popularity: 23% [?]
On Thursday, 7th September I spent the afternoon with Buddy Naidoo, journalist at the Sunday Times, the biggest national Sunday newspaper in South Africa. When he arrived for my interview, I was sitting with Carmel Fisher, Roxanne on eTV’s Backstage.
It seems this interviewed was inspired by the article in the Sunday Independent (part1, part2), a small circulation Sunday paper. Unlike my other interviews which focussed on my online dating research, this interview was completed focussed on how men can become more successful with women. We discussed a selection of conceptseories on meeting women and how guys can learn to become better at it, quickly and most importantly the benefits of this. I demonstrated my skills by approaching a woman sitting behind us, turned out I met her a few months ago at Moloko.
Popularity: 11% [?]
Damn! I booked for this event on Monday, 2 October…and now I realised I have a trip I’m going to be in Cape Town on this date.From the makers of the original Laugh Out Loud stage show comes a new reason to live…HAVE A HEART.
Join comedians John Vlismas, Riaad Moosa and their friends to an evening of great laughs. All monies raised will go towards Child Welfare.
Not only should you get tax deductions on the money you spend (only R100), but you’ll also have a great night out. We also guarantee that there will be no try hard celebrities, no auctions of things you don’t really want anyway and certainly no lukewarm, lousy dinner to sit through. Just arrive, mingle with other, real, people, sit down, watch the comedy show and then go home.
You could be warm in bed, with your heart feeling warm and fuzzy, by eleven. What could be simpler?
100% of the money we raise will go to the charity and we would be privileged to have you and your friends and even people you don’t like in the audience at our one-night only show - HAH!
Your R100 will include a 120 minute show in two halves, featuring, among others, John Vlismas, Riaad Moosa, Mark Banks, Mel Miller and Tumi Morake.
Book for this show at Computicket here!
Popularity: 13% [?]
