A long time ago I read a book by the Indian mystic Osho: Love, Freedom & Aloneness. This is one of those rare gems that explains and perhaps introduces you to the authentic love that is sorely missing from life. The taboo that is sex, the misunderstandings about love, and the freedom you never have when you try to posses or control the others in your relationships. Give it all up and you may find the difference between loneliness and aloneness.

There is a story in the book that is profound for me: A man and woman meet and fall in love. The woman is wealth and owns a great land through inheritance. The man wants to marry her. She says on one condition: You must love on the other side of the land where I will build you your own house. And if we meet in at the lake maybe I will invite you over or you can invite me over. And if we meet in the field maybe I will talk to you and you will talk to me. The man thought about this and decided he cannot marry the woman under these conditions

Anyway I’m paraphrasing the story as I cannot find the exact page on the book right now. There was something that struck a cord with me and whenever I have tried to explain this to women I’m dating they rarely get it. There is so much brainwashing I can see in the world when it comes to relationships and dating. How needy the man or the woman has become. And what is left? Almost nothing. An emptiness that is more a heavy burden than the elusive lightness of love.

Anyway here’s a short video with Osho talking about Love and Hate: Two sides of the same coin:

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What is a “Relationship?”

Is it: Dependency under another name? Insecurity under another name? Vampirism under another name? I’m empty and I need you. You’re empty and you need me!…(often called “Falling in Love“). Christians were told marriage was an alternative to damnation. Better to marry than burn! Fear paves the way.

Relationships! The bane of the Piscean Age, and on its way out. Are you ready?

Another question you may want to be asking yourself today and for the rest of your lives…

WHAT IS IT THAT OTHERS MAKE ME FEEL THAT I NEED FROM THEM?

We always know what it is that we need from others. We often know quickly what others want from us. But finding out what it is that others may subtly make us feel we require from them (and which eventually makes us dependent upon them) is not so obvious. Love is not part of a transaction. It is the most PRIVATE thing there is or can be, in the full sense of that word. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, and don’t continue deluding yourself. Forget what the priests have said, and mummy and daddy, and all those without a clue who, in their egregious error, have made the world what it is today. You won’t get it from the girl or the boy, the man or the woman, or from Jesus, or Allah. So stop looking for it in where it is not to be found! Realize that this very looking and seeking arises because of its absence within. The deer smells the tree bark for the musk produced by its own glands. You could laugh at that paradox. There is a greater madness abroad:

Men looking for love from a stranger, for that which only his own heart and mind can produce. This is the secret of man’s delirium.

Republished from the Michael Tsarion Forum on Red Ice Creations.

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Something that I’ve come to realise, the more I listen to Tom Leykis, is which women, women think are beautiful is often vastly different from the women, men find attractive.

Just think Julia Roberts vs Scarlett Johansson or Susan Sarandon vs Jessica Alba.

Anyway the women on this Maxim poll are mostly women that are considered beautiful on television and the media, and it may be perceived as politically incorrect to say that they are in fact not beautiful any more and it may be questionable if they were ever attractive, especially given the amount of plastic surgery in Hollywood.

On the other hand Esquire magazine chose Charlize Theron as their Sexiest Women Alive!

1. Sarah Jessica Parker
2. Amy Winehouse
3. Sandra Oh
4. Madonna
5. Britney Spears

I would add the entire cast of Desperate Housewives to this list minus Eva Longoria.

Who would you add to this list?

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Boys don’t cry? Well maybe it’s good for boys to cry every now and then. This video brought tears to my eyes because of how sincere and deep the message is by Severn Suzuki. In 1992, at the age of 12, Suzuki raised money with members of ECO, the Environmental Childrens Organization (a group she founded) to attend the Earth Summit in Rio De Janeiro. How long has it been that I sat down in nature or hugged a tree? How long has it been since I rolled around on grass or walked bare foot in a stream? How long will it take for us to realise that we and the environment are one - and if we continue to poison it, we only poison ourselves?

The more we love the environment the more we love ourselves and vice versa. Do not wait for someone else to do something about it. You go and do something about it in your yard or your neighbourhood.

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Last Saturday I attended my cousin Nazeerah’s 21st birthday party. Nazeerah is a young woman filled with the life energy that is to be expected from a 21 year old. She’s always been mature and now she’s finally growing up into a beautiful young woman who is holding the world in her the palm her hands. Her parents have reinforced a very positive self-image and I know it will continue.

So while I was helping out in the background with the guests as they arrived I started observing that there were many more women at this function. In fact there were blatantly more old ladies without partners. Now I do not know if their partners died or divorced or if they are single. I met a few of these older women throughout the evening and some were divorced and some were unmarried.

Observing the guys I mostly saw them enjoying themselves, chatting away and having a drink like guys do. Many of the women, forced to dress up, on their best behaviour maybe, seemed like they would rather be somewhere else.

For example the one lady who had done Nazeerah’s hair sat at my table. When the guys she was with left the table she referred to him as her “friend” which clearly meant her was NOT her boyfriend. And she just generally seemed bored and disinterested in being with him. Maybe he realised this or not but I can certainly say from how little they actually spoke that there is very little to no chemistry between them. This women was likely in her late 30s or even early 40s and it just hit me, if she was never married, how unhappy she likely is with herself. You are your own worst enemy in these situations.

Anyway the next woman I observed from across the table, turned out to the be the girlfriend of the DJ. At first I thought she was around 26 but later on when I noticed her fupa, I said to myself she is easily 10 years older. I actually could not believe a woman would expose herself in such way when she knows she’s not does not have the waste of Shakira or Beyonce. I almost ran the other way when she began dancing later on after the speeches and dinner.

It’s just funny when I think about how much pressure is applied to women over 25 and in the severest cases over 30 to get married. My own sister is turning 21 next year and I’m doing everything in my power to remove any negative reinforcement she may have received from my mother or other old ladies about meeting prince charming. I shared with Nazeerah some information from Dr John Demartini about how to better communicate with her boyfriend by linking her values to his.

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It’s been months since I’ve been to my Tai Chi class and I’m starting to feel really itchy about it. So even though I’ve been doing my Tai Chi Chuan at home its not the same as doing in a group. One of the things I’ve done to console myself is to go back to re-read the Chinese classic Tao Te Ching.

On another note as I’m approaching my 10th Toastmasters speech, to complete my Compitant Communicator, the first manual. I’ve decided to start with a quote from Bruce Lee, which he repeated in the famous Lost Interview with Pierre Burton. However, watching the entire interview I cam across a reference to Tai Chi Chuan. Pierre Burton asks him to explain all the fancy moves he sees people doing on the roof tops of buildings. Bruce goes into an explanation of Tai Chi Chuan and the philosophy behind it. And this quote from Bruce just struck me as applicable to relationships as well, “I mean to them the idea is ‘running water never grows stale.’ so you’ve got to just ‘keep on flowing.’”

When you realise a relationship has run its course its very likely because you’ve stopped flowing. When things become to predictable, when you become bored or tired all the time time. The passion you may have had and the physical attraction dies down. Now of course you can resurrect it with some effort. But you’re missing the point. The whole idea behind Taoism is effortlessness. Many people seem to think of an end-goal to relationships being marriage. I believe this is a fundamentally flawed presupposition. And therefore you’re setting yourself up for failure. Again most self-help books on relationships will persuade that relationships or marriage is hard work. It shouldn’t be hard work it should just flow.

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If you liked my review of the Genius Mind DVD, you may also be interested in downloading a full length video interview with Paul Scheele from Conscious Media Network. Here’s a preview clips:

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Last night I received the Genius Mind DVD package from Learning Strategies. This is one of several products developed by co-founder Paule Scheele.

So where do you begin? “I am a Magnificent being. I have unlimited, untapped Genius resources within me that I can learn to use expand the usage of my mind, breaking through any past limitations and exploring the magnificence of my full potential.”

The key to my achieving this, is learning how to learn. When you were a baby, you learned about the world by the way you experience it . You learned to understand the world by the things you saw, the sounds that you heard, the aromas that filled the air that you breathed, the different tastes that tickled your pallet and the way everything you touched gave me it a definite feel about the world you lived in. You were completely absorbed in whatever it was you were trying to learn about. Every action was a learning experience and you were alive with energy, excited all the time to try something different and learn something new, something that wasn’t taught.

It was almost all instinctive. It was usually a lesson of the universal creative primal instinct. The world was yours for the taking, because your mind was not able to conceive failure. One of the core pre-suppositions in NLP is: There is NO Failure, only Feedback.

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