Received the following email the other day…

Hi Ramon, my girlfriend of 1 and half years recently broke up with me. We lived together and she decided that she wanted to move out because she didn’t feel the same way about me as she did before. I feel as though my life has ended. I really love this woman and would do anything to have her back. She has moved into her own place and seems very happy. It kills me just thinking that she is going to be with some other guy one of these days. Do you think it is possible to get this woman back?

My first response…

Yes, it’s possible. And NO its a bad idea. You have what they call one-itis in the seduction community. You have vested WAY too much on this one woman and you feel like you do not have any other options. Before I say more about this, tell me in what area of your life are you successful, growing, focussed, energised right now?

Here’s he’s first reply…

So you think it is a bad idea to want her back? I feel like a failure that this woman left me. Here I am, the man with the money, the car, the house. She had nothing, yet she left.

That is BS.

I feel hurt, angry, betrayed and used by this woman. I have downloaded ebooks on how to get your ex back. She is like a drug.

STOP putting yourself down!

Yes, it’s a very, very bad idea because it screams of a low self-esteem. What I mean is that you see her as better than yourself. You are putting her on a pedestal and by the same token, putting yourself down. There is specific exercises I will guide you through to raise your confidence, self-esteem and make you more attractive to other women.

A divorce lawyer used to give this advice to his clients when they said they actually wanted their spouse back: go out and date someone else quickly and ensure your spouse finds out. So the best thing YOU can do is to begin dating other women.

Some benefits of moving on from past relationships

  • it boosts your self-esteem
  • you expand your social network
  • you learn more because you meet new people
  • your life becomes more spontaneous

Also recommended another article I’ve written related to this here: 7 steps on how to get over your ex-girlfriend.