Recently I was asked to answer some questions for Move magazine. I normally wait until after they go to print before publishing it on my own blog.

That other women

Question – I met this guy last year in May we started dating in June. The problem started when his ex- girl friend phoned him and yelled at me saying crazy things. one day I was at the guy’s place and when I got there she came and wanted to start a fight with me and when I asked the guy about her he said she just a crazy woman because she even sends his parents sms’s saying stupid things she even calls every day but when she calls she just keeps quiet. Now what I want to know is will she ever get used to the fact that it’s over between them because she has even started threatening the guy.

I love this guy but this woman is making things difficult for both of us, I am even thinking of leaving this guy because of all this. What should I do?

* Nozipho *

RT: Ask you boyfriend to talk to her for the last time. And if she refuses to stop help him get a police interdict because she is harassing both you. Give him 30 days to sort this out and if he does not act on it, leave. You deserve better. I know this may sound harsh but people never take you seriously if you say you do something, and do not follow through with it. This is not a threat to him because you simply want him to show that he is a man and take charge of the situation, which has gotten way out of hand.

Haunted by the past

Question – I am 26 year old lady and when I was 17 I dated this guy who impregnated me we agreed that I was going to have an abortion and his mother helped us to do the abortion .now we are no longer together and I am left with the regret that I can’t solve alone, I had never told anyone about this not even my family. I am haunted by this I want to tell my mother but she is very sick to hear something like that. How can I work this out?

* Anonymous *

There is one method, scientifically proven, for restoring balance to your emotions regarding the abortion I recommend: The Demartini Method. Please read the book, The Breakthrough Experience by Dr John Demartini or go one of his seminars in Cape Town or Johannesburg.

Is Christianity against porn?

*Are Christians allowed to watch porn? I am 23 years and still a virgin and I am not planning to sleep with anyone till I’m married. is it wrong to watch porn.

* Luyanda *

No it is not wrong to watch porn just like it is not wrong to watch violence in a movie. However, both has negative emotional or traumatic consequences if you overindulge. What I mean is that it is always the extreme of doing things when they overwhelm you. The sad truth is that Christianity like most religions has made this beautiful thing sex into something bad, dirty and cursed. You parents had sex and the love they shared was born in you. Remember that.

Ramon Thomas is South Africa’s #1 Dating Coach.