Marketingweb just posted an excellent summary of points by Freek Robinson, a long time television presenter in South Africa. He gives the following excellent tips on how to conduct yourself during and interview. And I found this particularly useful as the frequency of my radio and television interviews are consistent and as new projects come about can only increase. What I found is that it really helps to be as relaxed and natural as possible. And in fact being over prepared can be a disservice to you because your mind will try to recall to much information. My recent interview on CNBC Africa I prepared for a full hour’s worth of conversation in between the business segments and was only on for 5 mins in the end.

Some tips from Freek:

• It is better to do an interview live because then it cannot be edited or interfered with.
• In radio, your voice is all important. Your voice should be calm but with energy.
• Think of the audience; you are talking to them not the interviewer.
• An interview is basically a structured conversation. You must plan it but it must be you delivering it as your natural but trained self. Credibility lies in you being your true self. It should not simply be a question and answer session.
• You are in an interview to deliver a message, irrespective of the questions asked. You have to know in advance what you want to say or you will fail.
• Before an interview, eat and drink with care i.e. no fizzy drinks, tea or coffee, and don’t consume a big heavy meal that could make you sleepy.
• Your posture should be straight and open; sit still, and avoid stock phrases like “you know”.
• Concentrate on talking to one person you know and respect, such as your mother, then it becomes a real personal conversation. This is the recipe for avoiding stage fright.
• Stay focused, stick to your point and be concise.
• Beware of the first question - look out for leading questions, statements as questions, multiple questions, the ambush, interruptions, offensive interviews, be aware of where the line of questioning is going. Take control when these are thrown at you.
• Be honest, acknowledge problems.
• Don’t argue or lose your temper.
• You must always try to manipulate the situation that’s best for you. You are not a victim. You are there to deliver a message and should be proud to do so.

You can read the complete article on Marketingweb here.

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This is a response I wrote to the Editor of the Metro section of the Sunday Times, in response to readers feedback published here.

Being a dating coach is a part-time interest and my primary occupation is online research. My online dating research project has been widely covered since 2004 in various media ranging from Business Day to True Love, television shows like Carte Blanche, 3Talk as well as the controversial show “SEX, etc” on M-NET last year, with sexologist, Dr Elna McIntosh, where I was interviewed on how the Internet is changing the sexual behaviour of people today. Therefore there is no doubt about my level of professionalism and credibility in this regard.

In general most guys wear lots of bland colours and this results in them all looking very similar. By creating contrast with bright colours a man stands out from the pack and thus uses what is called “peacocking” in evolutionary biology terms. Charles Darwin’s theories on sexual selection explains this phenomenon in great detail and more recently in Matt Ridley’s book, The Red Queen (see chapter 5: The Peacock’s Tale).

Women can buy their own drinks and are not going to bars or clubs for men to do so. Instead they seek stimulation conversations and when a man buys her a drink BEFORE getting to know her it can be considered supplication.

Again giving a woman a compliment before she has an opportunity to demonstrate what is compelling about her, puts the man in the same boat as all the other men who have given her a similar compliment. A woman will value a compliment about something unique or different from the generic, overused, “you’re beautiful” type of compliments that most men give women.

Lastly most men know they should be using condoms. And those who don’t are ignorant of the risks of contracting a sexually transmitted disease. Based on my research the general difference between how men and women view sex is best described by this analogy: when a man sees an attractive woman he first thinks “what would sex be like with her”, while a women seeing an attractive man may think, “what would a relationship be like with him.” You only have to ask yourself why men, over the centuries continue to pay for sex with prostitutes. And you will realise they are in most cases not looking for a relationship with the prostitute, rather they want sexual gratification. So a man who wants to establish a sexual relationship with a woman can avoid falling into the “just friends” category by having a rule that says, if by the third date he has not had sex with her, he should move on because his chances of forming a sexual relationship with her diminishes drastically and she may in fact not be attracted to him for all good reason e.g. lack of confidence.

The aim is not to have sex with every woman you meet but to understand how to form a sexual relationship with a woman that you desire to have one with.

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