On Tuesday evening I won the Best Preprepared Speech (2nd time) for my C&L 5 Body Language speech at my Toastmasters club. This was weird because I chose to speak about the basics of body language and the objective of the speech was to demonstrate body language.
Some of the basics that I covered were:
1. When you arrive at a new venue pause when you enter the room. Allow people to notice you. This is an extremely powerful statement especially in a bar or nightclub. You must pause for several seconds about 10 to really allow the room to become aware of you. When you do this you will experience society pressure in your subconscious. Ignore that breath and walk through the centre of the room. Whether you realise this or not you have just demonstrated using only body language to be a very confident man. Much more confident than most guys in bars and clubs. Most of the women will have noticed and be more open to speaking to you later on when you approach them. Some may even come up to you after you have positioned yourself somewhere visible.
2. When you are walking always push your shoulders back. So whenever you are out always remember to do this. You will automatically push your chest out. And this reminds me of that feeling of a gorilla clobbering it’s chest. It’s really something that gives you the best possible posture for walking and standing up. Your back will be straight and this is also healthy for your spine.
3. When you are sitting down try to take up as much space as possible. For women it’s acceptable to cross their legs but for men it’s not recommended. So when you are in a public place…say at a fancy lounge, chances are they will have sofa’s. Sit down in the middle of the sofa stretch out your arms over the back and spread your legs like you own the place. This sends a very loud and clear message of your alpha male status.
Lastly Tracey Cox is her many books on body language states the most common mistake people make in dating situations is trying to read the other person’s body language. You should instead focus on the body language signals you are sending. This is the one thing you have completely control over. So don’t forget this fundamental lesson. Focus on your own body language and your non-verbal communication will increase in impact.
Research has shown that 60% of communication is non-verbal. Another 33% is voice tone. And only seven percent, that’s 7% is the actual words we speak. And when you realise how superior women are to ready body language. As a guy this is a crucial area for all men to improve.
Hi,
great post.
Congrats on winning the Best speech at Toastmasters. I have been in Toastmasters for over 13 years. It’s a great way to practive your public speaking skills!
I would like to draw your attention to the final point about communication being 60% non verbal, 33% tone etc. Those figures are wrong.
They come from a study conducted in 1972 about the chances of being allowed to stay in a line when you push in. The reseacher found that 60% of the time when he pushed into the line (at the post office) he was able to keep his position when he said nothing at all. On 33% of the times, he was able to keep his position when he altered his tone. ONy on 7% of the time when he asked to be let in was he let in.
As can be seen, the figures relate to pushing into a line at the post office, not to speaking to groups of people.
There was a great article last year in the Toastmasters magazine about where these figures come from.
If you want to see the original article, it is in a book called, “An approach to Environmental Psychology” (1972) by Dr Alber Maharabrian. Sorry, don’t kn ow the publisher.
Good luck with your next speech, and I hope you win the award agin.
Cheers
Darren Fleming