Social Media Addiction Among 3 Top Apps

How Facebook, WhatsApp & Instagram Quietly Shape Our Lives: A Conversation About Social Media Addiction Among Adults

Tonight I want to have an honest, human conversation with you — about something that affects all of us, no matter our age, job, or background: how apps like Facebook, WhatsApp, and Instagram slowly pull us into patterns of online addiction.

And I want to talk about it in a way that makes sense, using real stories and research, both from South Africa and the United States.

Let’s dive in — you may even see yourself in some of these examples.

1. Facebook: When “Just Checking” Turns Into Hours

Let’s start with Facebook and its social media addiction, because that’s the one many adults feel most comfortable with.

You know how it is — you open Facebook for “just two minutes.” Next thing you know, you’ve looked at photos from a wedding you weren’t invited to, read a heated political argument, and somehow landed on a video of a cat playing the piano.

That’s not an accident.

A U.S. study of college students found that Facebook “intensity” — how deeply we rely on it — is strongly linked to anxiety when we can’t check it (Brailovskaia & Margraf, 2019). Another large study by Facebook’s own researchers found tens of thousands of adults reporting that Facebook use made them feel out of control and even disrupted sleep.

Let me tell you about Mark, a 45-year-old software engineer from Seattle.

Mark told me, “Ramon, Facebook was my escape.”
He checked it during lunch, then again after work, then again before bed. The more stressed he felt, the more he scrolled. His words stuck with me:

“If I didn’t check, I felt like I was missing something. If I did check, I felt overwhelmed.”

That tug-of-war? That’s exactly how addiction works.

2. WhatsApp: The Pressure of Being “Always Available”

Now let’s talk about WhatsApp and its social media addiction.

I don’t think we realise how much pressure WhatsApp puts on adults. The double ticks, the group chats, the expectation to reply instantly — it becomes emotional labour.

Research from Europe and Latin America found that WhatsApp is often the most used app on a person’s phone, even more than Facebook (Montag et al., 2015). Another study showed that certain personality types — especially those who feel guilty saying no — are more vulnerable to WhatsApp overuse.

Let me introduce you to Maria, a project manager in New York.

Maria works with global teams, so her phone buzzes at all hours — U.S. time, Indian time, South African time. She told me:

“I muted the groups, but I still kept checking because the unread number stressed me out.”

Isn’t that crazy? The number stressed her out.
Not the message.
Not the person.
Just the red bubble on the screen.

That’s the design at work.

3. Instagram: The Comparison Trap for Adults

Instagram is a different beast. It hits us emotionally, especially around self-worth and its social media addiction.

A 2023 study found that Instagram addiction is linked to unmet needs — like wanting to feel competent or connected (Satici & Tekin, 2023). Another study found that people who compare themselves to others are more likely to fall into constant checking.

I’ll give you the story of Jasmine, a 29-year-old designer in Los Angeles.

She used Instagram for inspiration, but slowly it turned into a mirror she couldn’t escape. Everyone seemed to be:

• travelling,
• building perfect homes,
• running successful businesses.

One night she told me, “Ramon, I don’t feel jealous — I feel inadequate.”

That hit me hard.

Because Instagram’s not just showing you pictures — it’s shaping how you see your own life.

4. The U.S. Context: Why This Problem Is Huge There

Now, why do I bring in the United States?

Because the U.S. is like the “testing ground” for these apps:

• high smartphone usage,
• endless data bundles,
• and tech companies designing features specifically to keep you hooked.

People like Tristan Harris — a former Google design ethicist — have openly said the apps use psychological hooks like infinite scroll and push notifications to keep you coming back.

So when we look at American adults struggling…
It gives us a warning of what’s happening to us too.

5. So What Do We Do About It?

I always tell people:
Awareness is the first step.

Here are a few practical things I often recommend:

1. Check your own habits

Look at your screen-time report. Be honest:
Is it helping you or draining you?

2. Create boundaries

Mute groups that stress you.
Disable notifications.
Take one “scroll-free hour” each day.

3. Change how your apps behave

Turn off autoplay.
Turn off read receipts.
Hide your Instagram like counts.

These tiny changes make a massive difference.

Final Thought: It’s Not About Blame — It’s About Balance

I want to end by saying this:
We don’t need to delete Facebook, WhatsApp, or Instagram. They’re powerful tools. They help us reconnect with old friends, celebrate family wins, and build communities.

But when the tool starts shaping our behaviour…
When it starts influencing our mood…
When it steals our time…

Then we need to pause and ask: “Who’s really in control?”