On Wednesday I will be interviewed for the 2nd time on the Kaleidoscope show on CNBC Africa. The focus was on business networking and social networking. Here’s some of the what I covered in the interview with Mandlakazi Mpahlwa:

MM: How does a delegate begin to Network?

RT: Learn to ask questions. You do not have to have all the answers but if you can ask good questions you allow the other person to open up and tell you what’s most important to them. Once you know what’s important to them you can link what you have to offer to that. And that could be another person in your social network (not something you are selling). Building trust should be your #1 objective.

MM: When and where should one Network?

RT: You should network everywhere. Therefore you must always, always carry your business cards with you. And don’t wait for the other person to ask for it. After speaking to someone for a few minutes give them your card. Now when they give you there card DO NOT put it away immediately. In Japan its customary to accept a business cards using both hands and bow. And then you keep the card in your hand UNTIL the other person puts it away. By glancing at the card you can begin to remember the person’s name before putting it away. And also looking at the info on their card you can make fairly accurate guesses on the nature of their business. I have networked with people in book stores, coffee shops, conferences, parties, the plane, buses, you name it. There is not perfect place.

MM: What are the No-No’s when networking at a function / conference?

RT: The biggest mistake is trying to sell somebody on your products or services. People are coming together to meet and network to help them solve problems not to buy something. That always comes later. You have to listen, ask questions and once you have an understanding of their pains you can make suggestions. The key is taking time to build trust and find out what’s most important to the other person.

MM: What tools does one require to successfully network?

RT: You can use online tools like LinkedIn, Facebook or MyGenius to manage your growing network of business or social connections. It’s important to touch base with people within the 1st week after meeting them and then once every 90 days. In additional your email software like Mozilla Thunderbird or Microsoft Outlook can help you keep track of birthdays and you can go as far as sending automated emails using a CRM system.

For me LinkedIn is the most powerful business networking website because:

• it has very strict built in privacy management so you cannot spam people
• it has very high quality members: many CEOs, Directors or Specialists
• over 35,000 South African business people
• A goldmine for research, competitive intelligence in the LinkedIn Answers

On the other hand Facebook floods your Inbox with more information than most people can handle, even though you can turn it off. Also many of my business connections are on Facebook, however, they use it to share more personal experiences like family photos, etc.

A Networking Example:

If I meet you at a function and you tell me you’re in the media and you have your own show, etc. I will tell you about some people I’ve met who I think will make good guests. So I’m not saying you should interview Me. I’m suggesting other people and other things in which I’ve have no vested interest. What I’m doing here is playing the connector role. I’m helping people connect the dots. I always play my own role, my own abilities down. I’m being humble.

You may be interested in my business social networking workshop.  You will learn how to become more interesting, improving your social intelligence, increasing the depth of your business relationships and most importantly substantially improving the results you get from business networking.

Popularity: 10% [?]

I recently watched this comedy and was only mildly entertained by it. The more important lesson is that its possible for a shy, nerdy, insecure guy to become confident, social and improve your success with women. So many of the guys who ask me about my coaching programme are infatuated with ONE girl. They miss the point that it is about improving your overall social success with women.

This is one of those few movies like Hitch which can give insecure, lonely or frustrated guys a glimpse of what’s possible. The basic plot of the movie is that Roger, a nerd, played by John Herder from Napoleon Dynamite fame, takes a class with a self-help guru Dr P, played by Billy Bob Thornton. Dr P is a real ass hole and treats all his students with disdain. He has a bad-add enforcer in the form of Lesher, played by the huge Michael Clark Duncan. You can read more detailed reviews on Rotten Tomatoes.

What I want to highlight is how stupid this movie ends. Roger basically wins back his girlfriend from Mr P, who turns out to be the biggest liar and a con-man. When you watch a movie like this you have to think about how realistic it is for a character as pathetic as Roger to build enough confidence to do what he does. What I mean is to actually pull it off. This kind of things never happen in the real world. It takes a long time to build up enough muster to challenge an authority figure like Dr P. There are no short cuts and you can throw luck out the window. Fake it till you make it just won’t cut it with women in the long term. If you want to supercharge your social success with women in South Africa, join the South African Seduction Lair and meet guys with more experience. Stop reading books or listening to audio programs from the Internet. Meet guys who can show you what’s possible.

Popularity: 24% [?]

My friend Ronnie Apteker published a book 1999 called “Do you love IT in the morning?” and this was a great play on words because it could imply “it” as in perhaps sex or “IT” as in “Information Technology.” Sadly this book is now out of print and I remember picking up over 50 copies a few years ago for R5 each when CNA was clearing their old stock.

Anyway his central theme was called the progress paradox. What that means is the more technology we invent, the better it becomes, the more it supposedly improves our lives, and yet we find we have less time to do things than we’ve ever had before. Professor Barry Schwartz also confirmed this in his 2005 book, The Paradox of Choice.

Why am I reminding you of something you so inherently know to be true? Because I would like you to join me in my campaign called “Switch IT Off” - which advocates ONE, just ONE Technology FREE day per week. And I’m very, very serious when I mean that you switch off ALL technology that is based on computers from your cellphones, your iPod, your PC, your laptop and maybe even your television and your hifi. Perhaps you can imagine being on a camping trip for that one day where you only have access to the bare necessities.

In case you find this difficult and secretly suffer from an addiction to technology here’s my solution:

The 12-STEP programme to reducing Technology Stress:

1. I admit I am powerless over my cellphones and without it my life becomes unmanageable.
2. I believe that only a Power greater than Eskom could restore my sanity.
3. I made a decision to turn my backups over to the care of Google.
4. I made a searching and fearless moral inventory of downloaded TV shows.
5. I admitted to myself and others the exact nature of my mp3 collection.
6. I have Microsoft remove all these defects in my character.
7. I humbly asked Bill Gates to remove my shortcomings.
8. I made a list of all persons spammed, and I became willing to make amends to them all.
9. I made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. I continue to take personal inventory and when I was wrong promptly admitted it.
11. I sought through meditation to improve my conscious contact with Google, praying for knowledge for me and the power to carry that out.
12. I am having an spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, an I forward this message to all my friends to practice these principles in all my affairs.

On a more serious note, research from the Journal of Marriage and Family in 2005 found that cellphones increasingly blurs the line between family time and work time for both men and women. So what typically happens is that work related stress spills over into family time and the opposite is also true for women, where family problems spill over into work time. This decreased family satisfaction and increased stress over a two-year period. The researchers said that as the use of cell phones becomes increasingly prevalent, the line between family and work life will continue to blur.

You know in life your parents likely taught you how to cross the road by looking left, right and left again. But think about it, nobody teaches us how to cross the information superhighway. This 12-step programme is my way to bring order to the chaos, and helping your choose between the ONE (True/Yes) and the ZERO (No/False). So which one will it be?

Popularity: 10% [?]

Tom Leykis recently did a show called Chicks Depreciating Assets about a Craigslist ad by a gold digger. This has since spilled over into the blogosphere, the New York Times and Daily Telegraph. Anyway here’s the original advert and response with which I agree:

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy.

I’m not from New York . I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won?t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

• Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
• What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won?t hurt my feelings
• Is there an age range I should be targeting (I?m 25)?
• Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I?ve seen really ?plain jane? boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I?ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What?s the story there?
• Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
• How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I?m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I?m being up front about it. I wouldn?t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn?t able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

PostingID: 432279810

THE ANSWER

Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.

Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won?t be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you?re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold?hence the rub?marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to ?buy you? (which is what you?re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It?s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful” as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.
Classic “pump and dump.”

I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know

Popularity: 100% [?]

A while ago I joined the Blog Action Day campaign and I wasn’t sure what I may write about. However, as I’m in Durban, sitting in my hotel room, I’m feeling exceptionally relaxed. You see in Johannesburg the stress levels are likely to be among the highest in the world.

Crime is one of the biggest culprits for the cause of stress and next to that I reckon traffic problems is a close 2nd. Personally I am extremely averse to being stuck in peak hour traffic and working from home is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. And having lived in Johannesburg I can avoid most of the highways and using back routes to find my way to my destination when I do have to go and meet someone.

On the dating front I’ve set-up my relationships so that my girlfriends come over to my place most of the time. This has been a real logistical triumph because so much time is wasted go out, having drinks, dinner, and trying to get a woman to come back to my place. So when I got to the point where women come over to my place I retain the power. You can read being more efficient in your dating life from dating coach Brent Smith.

Anyway back to Joburg traffic my advice to you would be to find a way to work from home, or to begin early and leave early. Worldwide there is a trend to more and more teleworkers and this should be encouraged in South Africa as well. I’m keen to hear your ideas about more efficient living in Johannesburg.

Popularity: 21% [?]

Learn the Secrets about Cancer the Pharmaceutical Industry does Not want You to Know About

Join me for an informative and entertaining video screening at the Preview Theatre. I will be screening two interviews from Conscious Media Network to raise awareness on Cancer and raise funds for Women of Vision.

You will learn about alternative treatments for cancer from two world-reknown experts. You will also receive copies of these interviews on DVD to share as widely as possible at your own discretion. The money raised at this event will go toward Women of Vision, a charity that helps abused women and children. Sophie Okeke, founder of Women of Vision, will be the guest of honour.

You will receive a glass of champagne on arrival.

The 1^st interview is with Dr. Lorraine Day, an internationally acclaimed orthopedic trauma surgeon and best selling author who was for 15 years on the faculty of the University of California, San Francisco, School of Medicine as Associate Professor and Vice Chairman of the Department of Orthopedics. She was also Chief of Orthopedic Surgery at San Francisco General Hospital and is recognized world-wide as an AIDS expert.

We will break for 20 minutes to enjoy tea and coffee before we continue…

The 2^nd interview is with Burton Goldberg, the publisher of a series of books on alternative medicine. He has spent over 30 years carefully researching every aspect of holistic medicine, from California to Israel, Mexico to Russia. But it?s taken only a few years for this self-made businessman to emerge as ?The Voice of Alternative Medicine.?

The venue for this event is The Preview Theatre, run by Italo Bernicchi, who managed the Victory Theatre in Orange Grove for 35 years. Parking is outside his house and champagne will be served on arrival in the beautiful rose garden. Call Italo on 011 640 1061 for directions.

EVENT DETAILS

• Cost: R40 pp, 2 tickets R60 or 4 tickets for R100
• Date: Saturday, 20 October 2007
• Time: 4h30 for 5pm (duration 2 hours)

It’s easy to book for this event: Call Mandy on 076 890-8687.

Popularity: 17% [?]

David Deida is one of the most enlightened teachers alive today. He is truly a master of his craft. And his book, The Way of the Superior Man, has changed my life forever.

Deida focuses on his theories about the different ways that men and women grow emotionally and sexually.In this short video clip David talks about the difference between sexual therapy, sexual yoga and sexual spirituality practise.

Popularity: 27% [?]