“Madam Toastmaster, Ladies and Gentlemen…”, is how many speeches start at a Toastmasters club meeting. Two years ago when I arrived in Ningbo there was only one club with 5 guests. In 2015 there are five Toastmasters clubs, who meet regularly, from Book City to Ningbo University to University of Nottingham Ningbo China.
Toastmasters International is a non-profit educational organization that teaches public speaking and leadership skills through a worldwide network of clubs. Members deliver speeches to enhance their Communication. They take roles in the club e.g. president, treasurer, or meeting roles like Timer or Ah-Counter, to enhance their Leadership skills. Worldwide there are over 14,000 clubs and in China the rate of growth has been tremendous since launching in 1999.
Ningbo is a prime example of this growth with over 100 people who regularly attend meetings. Some clubs focus on Chinese Mandarin, some are English only, and many are bilingual. So why do people join Toastmasters in Ningbo besides the obvious learning environment?
“What we learn in Toastmasters is really useful in our life. With all the presentation and communication skills I’ve learned in Toastmasters, I managed to enter one of the largest private companies in Ningbo and then start my own business. Toastmasters has helped me find my passion.” says Weiwei Yang, former president of Ningbo #1 Toastmasters club.
Many of my Chinese friends are not from Ningbo or Zhejiang. Some like Nina are from Hunan, and others like Lillian are from Gansu province in the north West of China. Toastmasters allows them to make high quality friends, sometimes with foreigners like me. The members of the clubs are all interested in personal development, they are confident and lead by example.
In fact the most popular phrase we use is “learn by doing” and every activity in a Toastmasters meeting reminds you of this. It’s a safe place where you can make mistakes and correct them easily. There are no teachers and everyone may provide some form of feedback either verbal, on the stage, or in a written form. The agenda for the meetings are followed closely because “time” is one of the most important values in our meetings. By being on time, it shows respect to your audience.
It turns out Toastmasters helped me to reduce my culture shock after moving to China. The people I’ve met have become my best friends. The activities are always fun and my confidence around Chinese people has improved tremendously. The value of this group increases over time.
To join one of the next meetings, simple email add me on Wechat: rjthomas
Online dating is one of those things that the Internet was made for: People trying to meet people for love and sex in the supposed privacy of their homes. Cyber Infidelity is a book by Dr Eve, who’s real name is Dr Marlene Wasserman based in Cape Town, South Africa. She’s South Africa’s answer to the American Dr Laura, and is known for her regular radio talk shows.
We first met when I conducted my second survey about online dating and online sexuality in 2006.
Cyber Infidelity is very readable, perhaps because of the topic of infidelity which usually sparks curiosity across the gender lines. It’s also a good read because of the personal stories it contains, which provide deep insight into the motivations why people choose to find lovers and sexual partners online in this day and age.
The first three chapters lay a very good base for modern relationships. The Internet has transformed the way we conduct ourselves not only in business but also in the most intimate spaces of our bedrooms. As a couples therapist, Dr Eve shares insights into the rapid changes in behaviour.
Chapter 5 describes the triple A engine: affordable, anonymous, accessible. This is the pivotal factors differentiating online infidelity from offline infidelity. You can say it’s the difference between cheating before the Internet and after the Internet and mobile phones became so easily accessible.
Sometimes it feels like Dr Eve is encouraging the infidelity. On page 169 she reveals a shocking statistic: over 75% of relationships that begin through an affair end in divorce. The chapter on porn habits is eye-opening. A few surprises may be learned from the porn watching habits of women, which is not commonly discussed as the stigma sees porn as the problem of (lonely) men.
The stories in this book reminds me of those I first read in Nancy Friday’s My Secret Garden. They are at once confessions, revelations and sometimes sad. They show what’s missing from the relationships and why the myth of “settling down” is so unsatisfactory.
The topic of infidelity raises curiosity our own personal natures. To what extent are we still living in a monogamous society with the rise of the Internet, social media and mobile phones?
One of my favourite aphorisms in this book is that “shame and blame are the twin sisters of guilt.” The Ashley Madison website is where the author collected much of her first hand accounts of cyber infidelity. The customers of this website are not ashamed to share their innermost fantasies. So do you blame them for choosing to engage in cyber infidelity, which many times does not lead to an offline meeting? [After this book was published, AshleyMadison.com was hacked and some shocking facts about the female users were released.]
One of the radical facts emerging from the book, is that women are much more sexually liberated than before the rise of the Internet.
There are few surprises in in the statistics because they are all from English speaking countries. Perhaps a sequel may include comparison with China and India, which together account for probably half the Internet users in the world, and vastly different cultural norms. It would be fascinating to evaluate how the Internet has changed the sexual behaviour of these nations.
This morning I woke up from a dream that almost like a nightmare. I was crying and I could not help myself because I felt the pain of hopelessness people in Eastern Cape where I was born and raised. This province usually ranks as poorest in GDP, worst in public schooling and endless corruption in local governments. Why do we need politicians?
Recently I read a story on social media that got my blood boiling.
Politicians in local governments want an increase to R1.2 million per year for their salary currently over R400,000 per year. Those on the Mayoral Committee earn about R800,000 per year. So what’s wrong with this picture? Their bloated salaries are an insult to the poor.
Imagine my father, a pensioner earning about R1,300 per month. The Marikana miners now earn over R11,000 per month. So ward councillors earn about 3 times more than mine workers. Forget about the other benefits and freebies that come with their power positions.
The arrogance of these lines and cheats are unbelievable. They make the rules by voting for laws to benefit themselves. When you outsource the leadership of your community to politicians, you get what you deserve. Are you angry yet?
Why don’t you get angry when they abuse their power? Maybe it’s because you don’t event know what the hell they are doing.
Why don’t you vote them out office in next local elections? Maybe you believe better the devil that you know than the one you don’t know.
Why do you accept the status quo? Maybe it’s because of decades of group behavior. The individual in society is truly a lost cause as Jon Rappoport so eloquently writes.
You either don’t care or don’t want to rock the boat.
Only when you become angry, will you stop others from abusing you. While you remain passive aggressive, the status will remain. A wise man once said silence is akin to acceptance.
There are many good reasons to obtain a degree after high school. This article is for high school students and parents who want to give their children a unique advantage in the 21st century – to study abroad in China. It’s based on my own experience after completing two degrees in South Africa and now my MBA in China since 2013. Throughout this article I will use RMB = Chinese Yuan Renminbi, the official currency of the People’s Republic of China.
The exchange rate is 1 RMB = 2 ZAR = 0.17 USD.
1. It’s Cheap
Living China is cheap compared to most places on earth. While a can of Coke is more than double in South Africa, that’s the difference in economics of scale. My MBA tuition fee is 20,000 RMB per year and in South Africa it’s at least 50,000 RMB or about ZAR 100,000 per annum.
Indian students told me it’s much cheaper to study Medicine in China because they don’t have to bribe anyone as they do in their own country. It may also be easier to get your degree due to differences in the levels of education. This always depends on the quality of your university.
Ningbo University students receiving award from Chinese government
2. Scholarships Are Plenty
As some who received the Chinese Government Scholarship, I live a comfortable student life. This scholarship covers my tuition, text books, accommodation, medical insurance and a monthly allowance that was doubled in 2015 to 3,000 RMB per month.
Besides this comprehensive scholarship there are many offered by colleges, universities, local and provincial governments to attract more and more foreign students. The Chinese government promised to increase scholarships to African countries in 20112.
3. Learning Chinese language
To make your life easier in China it’s important to first study Chinese language full time. Since my MBA is taught in English, I only received 1-2 classes per week during the first two semesters. This is hardly enough to get by in daily life. Students with no work experience receive jobs offers constantly when they have advanced Chinese language ability like my friend Mahadi from Bangladesh.
Most scholarships will include a one year full-time Chinese language course if you request it. This means your total study for Bachelors will be 5 years i.e. one year for Chinese language, and a 4 year degree. In China there is no “Honours” degrees like in the USA, so afterwards you go directly onto Masters.
4. Understanding Chinese Culture
You can watch all the Kungfu movies ever made by Bruce Lee and Jet Li, and it won’t give you a real sense of Chinese culture. You can read about China and it will only scratch the surface of this ancient civilization. I read several translations of Tao Te Ching and other ancient texts. It gave me some appreciation for the culture.
However, it’s only when I travelled by myself around China where I experience the humility of the people from the Middle Kingdom. Each one of my Chinese friends taught me something valuable about where they come from in China.
5. Travel Cheap
The transportation system in China is beyond my wildest expectations. The local buses operate from after 5am to after 11pm in some cases. It cost only 2 RMB and drops even further to 0.6 RMB for students with a bus card. China now has the largest high speed railway network in the world.
So instead of flying you take the train, which is a first class experience and half the cost of the flight. The convenience impressed me after two years living China. Even the local taxi is relatively cheap and you can easily call a can and pay for it with your mobile phone. Traveling to nearby countries like Malaysia, Thailand and so on is cheap and easy.
6. Make New Friends
My friend Tony from Ghana has been in China about much longer. He’s a confident and funny African guy and a real ladies man. Foreigners stand out in China, and we are in short supply when it comes to making friends with Chinese. I am guessing for 100 Chinese who want to make friends there is only one of us. Sometimes it’s out of curiosity, sometimes because they want to improve English.
My best friend Terry Jiang helped me buy books online, book train tickets in the early days, given me great travel advice, and also explained some Chinese culture nuances in plain English. There are many reasons to have friends, mostly I believe it’s the fastest way to overcome your culture shock when you first arrive in China.
7. Experience Economic Growth
“You ain’t seen nothing yet,” is probably a what Chinese kids tell each other when they see a new skyscraper being built. Everywhere I’ve been from Ningbo to Nanjing to Shanghai, there is constant construction taking place. New buildings cannot be built fast enough as more Chinese people migrate from the rural areas into the cities.
Roads are upgraded and new subways built at a rate I cannot begin to describe. Infrastructure spending is how the Central government stimulates the economy. Exports continue to grow although slower than the last 20 years. Consumer spending is on the rise as the Chinese middle class becomes the biggest in the world. It took me almost six months to spot the first beggar in China.
8. Minimal Crime Rates
Walking around late at night with my smartphone in my hands, I feel safe unlike Johannesburg. Even carrying a 1000 RMB in my pocket, I do not fear being robbed in China. Yes, I avoid places I don’t know. And once I missed my train back from Shanghai to Ningbo. So I decided to go to a bar and have fun. After walking around and being propositioned by a prostitute I met some German girls and partied with them until it was time to go to train station around 5am.
Drug mules are routinely executed in China. Terrorists receive a similarly harsh and quick sentences. Several times I left something valuable and upon returning to the restaurant it was given back to me by the manager. There is a co-operation between the people and the police I am not familiar with. In South Africa it always felt like the police wants bribes and will blackmail you into submission.
9. Family Values
In African philosophy we have concept called Ubuntu – “I am, because we are…” and Nelson Mandela was a major proponent of this. In China they don’t talk about it, they actually live it. The family unit is indispensable and so is the community. Grandparents help rear children. Parents spend extraordinary amount of money and time educating children on weekends, and even during the holidays there is no rest.
When you see a father, mother and baby on an e-bike, you see a little bit of the real China. Even though divorce is increasing in China, I do believe it’s negligible compared to the West where it’s over 60% in some countries.
10. Government Without Democracy
This is the opposite of what most people in the West believe true. In my opinion Chinese people get on with living their lives instead of worrying about who to vote for every 4-5 years. They focus on what’s important to themselves and let the government get on with it’s work.
Author Martin Jacques described the relationship between the Government (State) and Chinese families as thousands of years old. And so far the best reasons why the Chinese Communist party remains in power after the spectacular failure in Russia is by Eric X. Li’s TED Talk. A famous writer visiting American once said that in democracy the people get the government they deserve.
11. Sample Asian food
This is more an honourable mention. Trying new food may or may not be important to you. However, it’s important to every Chinese person I’ve met. There is a pride in Chinese people which comes through in eating together. In China, a popular greeting is “?????” Ni Chi Le Ma. It means “have you eaten already?”
Each one of my friends from different provinces has helped me to sample their local cuisine. Much of its shockingly tasty unless you have some hang-up with pork or sea foods. Luckily for me I do eat everything and the variety is almost overwhelming. The best way to impress your new Chinese friends is to use chopsticks to eat noodles 😉
Recently I’ve been watching a new TV series from the UK, Humans. It shows an all too familiar future where robots (or Synths as they’re called in this show) are meant to aid humans in their daily lives with mundane tasks. Far away is the future predicted by Blade Runner, et al where AI robots are doing the dangerous jobs humans cannot do in outer space.
Where does this leave us? Do Androids dream of Electric Sheep? I don’t know but it seems the the Overlords of our Entertainment industry certainly believe we are incapable of helping ourselves.
We live in a world that’s dominated by superhero stories. They are the modern incarnations of the ancient gods from myths and legends. They have powers beyond normal human being and sometimes they have some character flaws, usually those who are more human.
You cannot look at any cinema and not see a new action-packed story about some superhero you’ve never heard of before. For example, who’s ever heard of Ant-Man besides some geeks or nerds who actually read comic books? This year we will see the Batman vs Superman and other stories regurgitated from Hollywood.
Every year that goes by there seems to be less and less original stories. Every story is now being told in trilogies. So how can we relate to these superheroes? So much of these stories seem to be mindless action and special effects. There seems very little morality as compared to the legends of Zeus or Hercules. In the multi-verses created by the story tellers with time travel and other gimmicks the stories become so difficult to comprehend let alone relate to other people.
The shared experience is after all how you hypnotize a whole planet. What bothers me is the question of humanity. Superman is the all-powerful alien boy who landed on Earth, and supposedly due to his small-town upbringing in middle America, doesn’t become a tyrant who wants to subjugate all of humanity to his whim. Yes, for every Superman there must be a Lex Luthor.
A reflection on human nature and its maybe superhero stories are supposed to be the antidote to our biggest weakness as humans: fear, greed, etc. Superheroes are above such humanity, even Batman who is in fact just a very smart and rich man, dressed up in a costume.
So do we really seek saviours from other planets or our own? When do we learn to save ourselves from the learned helplessness? The story of Prometheus Revealed as told by Jon Rappoport had a profound impact on my thinking about gods, saviours and superheroes.
Inside of every human being is an unlimited imagination. Consciousness has no boundaries and is not centred inside our brains. The vast majority of history shows a clear determination of the elites who rule on our behalf working towards a control, a limitation on the unbounded imagination.
Ningbo is a prime example of this growth with over 100 people who regularly attend meetings. Some clubs focus on Chinese Mandarin, some are English only, and many are bilingual. So why do people join Toastmasters in Ningbo besides the obvious learning environment?
It turns out Toastmasters helped me to reduce my culture shock after moving to China. The people I’ve met have become my best friends. The activities are always fun and my confidence around Chinese people has improved tremendously. The value of this group increases over time.
