This is a some comments that was published in Move! magazine.

1. Discuss Money Matters

One of the most common mistakes people make in merging their lives is not to discuss money. And one of the biggest causes of break-ups and divorces in general is disagreements about money. Part of this discussion should include what each will do. So for example if one is doing the cooking, the other could do the dishes and vice-versa. Write out a clear agreement on how money will be spent and how you will split your responsibilities around the house.

2. Have a Backup Plan

Nothing last forever. So be prepared for the reality of things not working out. Think ahead and plan ahead. Make sure you do not cut ties with friends and family now that you are moving in together because they will be part of your backup plan when you need them. You do not want to alienate them. Have some savings put away or have a contingency plan so you can act quickly.

The biggest thing to remember is to be pragmatic about moving in together. Love can be blind but don’t let yourself get the short end of the stick.

Also checkout It may be a mistake to live together before getting married.

Popularity: 22% [?]

I received this question via my Facebook profile recently:

I thought I was over her… but thoughts of her come back to haunt me…and it seems it affects me when I try and get something new going with other women… and I’m there but I’m not there… you know what I mean?

What would be a sure fire hit of getting over the ex?

My response: You believe the lie most people do - that you are empty or incomplete without being in a relationship. There is no short answer to this question but here’s some immediate steps to take immediately after a break-up with your girlfriend:

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Popularity: 71% [?]

For the last year and half I’ve been communicating with Scot McKay, a fellow dating coach, based in Texas. Scot has been a sounding board for some of my ideas on dating and vice-versa. It’s been incredible to he’s rise in the dating community as a leading voice or balanced thinking. And more specifically having a more prolific output I’ve only seen exceeded by David DeAngelo (aka Eben Pagan).

Anyway Scot has been using my Speed Dating ebook as a free gift with some of this products. And I’ve just emailed him and updated edition on that ebook - you can download it free here. Today he completely surprised me by inviting me as a guest expert on his brand spanking new Virtuosity program, which he describes as his Mastery program. This is the most complete system of advice I have seen for men and its a great honour to be included in this one

Anyway this reminds me that I need to get my own products together, whether ebooks, audio or video. It’s likely to be something more along the lines of a multimedia product because I’m just convinced most people are either to lazy or to busy to read even an inch of new information, not matter how important. So I am launching my first dating seminar in the South African before Valentine’s Day 2008. This will be tied in with my confirmed involvement in a secret reality radio show project.

Some of the ideas I will be discussing with Scot McKay include the following:

• Speed dating vs. Online /SMS dating
• Beginners Mind, Letting Go and Being like Water
• The Single Life or the Social Life
• Creating a Social Life
• Dating without calling it Dating
• Teaching Your Girlfriend

Popularity: 25% [?]

This was my final Toastmasters speech for the year and my 10th, which I passed. It is also the final speech in the first level: Competent Communicator:

Madam Toastmaster, Ladies and Gentlemen…

For the longest time I did not understand the difference between motivation and inspiration. However, as I kept studying and learning I believe the key difference is that motivation is when some external force is required to move you forward, while in inspiration, there is an inner force that directs you. And so if you consider for a moment how much of your ambitions, dreams or goals never materialise its likely due to the fact that you lost motivation or lost steam along the way. This is the opposite of what I want to share with you tonight.

Tonight I will share 3 principles with you by which I live my life:

Principle 1: Empty Your Mind

Now I’m sure you have all heard the old clich?d question: Is your glass half full or half empty? This is a common expression, used rhetorically to indicate that a particular situation could be a cause for optimism (half full), pessimism (half empty) or as a general litmus test to simply determine if an individual is an optimist or a pessimist.

A Zen master received a university professor who came to inquire about Zen. The Master served tea. He poured his visitor’s cup full, and then kept on pouring. The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. “It is overfull. No more will go in!” “Like this cup,” the Master said, “you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?”

How is this relevant to Toastmasters? It’s simply: If you do not empty your mind before coming to a Toastmasters meeting you will not learn anything. What is clear to me is that most people attending Toastmasters meeting indeed follow this way of thinking.

Principle 2: Letting Go (Accept Things As They Are)

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